Chapter 22

"So, you're telling me that you hugged him for reasons unknown to you?" It's like what he said went into my right ear and came out of my left ear. Today is too complicated for me.

It seems like just yesterday everything was okay. Yesterday when Darren drove me home, I was hurt a little but I made a mistake. Because when I got home and before I went to sleep at night, it was like a crash that sank into my brain.

It all sunk into my head that I was just a great rebound of an artist named Darren Thomas Fabio. I can't understand myself why I accepted what Darren said to make me his rebound. Perhaps, I've lost my self-pity because it all shifted to Darren.

That's it, there's nothing left for myself.

"Oh! C'mon, are you just going to be like that? Are you just going to stare there all the time?" I just ignored him and just took my phone because I felt it vibrate.

I read the message immediately.

From : Darren Thomas Fabio

Hey, Baby I just wanted to ask if you would come with me? The music video will be shot later when Chiara and I recorded the song and I was wondering if I should take you along so I can show them that I'm okay, I've moved on.

I felt a sharp knife stabbed into my chest oh, wait strike that I mean stabbed into my heart. Deeper and deeper.

I bit my lower lip and held back the tears that were about to fall. I hate myself, why do I feel this?

Why am I hurt? Why do I want to cry? Maybe I just have a crush on him, but why does it feel like my heart is breaking because of that text message of his?

"Uh ah! Everything makes sense now. It's a Band-aid!" Akia woke up teasing. I just ignored him and focused my attention on the text message that Darren sent me.

Why am I like this, I know I'm hurt, why am I still able to read this text message over and over again? Am I this numb? Have I ever given my mercy to other people like this that I can no longer feel pity for myself.

Am I this desperate to help others even though I'm in so much pain?

I didn't notice that my tears were falling one by one so I immediately wiped them away. I didn't even pay attention to Akia's pitying look on me. Maybe, he wanted to talk but he didn't because he didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I looked back at my phone screen again and searched for and called Darren's number. I even bite my lower lip while doing that.

"D-darren..." I started. I know Akia is just looking at me now but I didn't look at her but I just focused my attention on the table.

(Baby, does this mean you agree?) I felt joy in his voice. His voice is so happy. Who am I to ruin his happiness?

And when I didn't expect it, my tears fell one by one. I will be careful not to break my voice, I don't want him to know that I am hurting and crying.

I know on my own that if I do this I will be able to help Darren so even if it is unfair to myself I will just do it. The important thing is that I can be happy even though I'm crying and sad.

"Y-yes. I'm willing. Can you just pick me up?" my voice was full of tremors. Even though I was really crying now, I managed not to show it.

----

Pick up, go and deliver. That's what always happens in my life. Because an actor was courting me, I soon answered him. Sometimes I thought that I am an actor myself because I can act as well as Darren.

I acted so well in front of him that I was happy but when I turned away and he was no longer facing me, I just cried silently.

Every day that I spend time with him, my heart gradually falls for him until I fall in love with him completely. I love him even if he doesn't love me because until now Chiara is still in his heart. As they say, 'Same old story'.

I just let out a sigh on that though. A few months have passed and now I'm in my 4th year college but still nothing has changed with Darren.

I admit he's so sweet, caring and gentle but he doesn't like you. He's just that which always breaks my heart. It's just as painful as accepting that the one you love loves someone else.

I just wiped my tears. I didn't notice that I was crying while Prof was lecturing in front.

Is this how it affects your love for others? Nothing left for you?

The subject ended and I barely understood anything. I feel like my brain is traveling on its own to somewhere that a human mind can't reach.

"Akia?" I was immediately brought back to reality when someone touched me. I immediately turned around and found out that it was Aiden.

He brought with him two cans of soda and two sandwiches. He handed me a can of soda and a sandwich, I accepted it and thanked him and we sat down on the nearest bench.

We are just here near the garden. There weren't many people because they might be in the canteen eating lunch.

"You know, I've been seeing you like this for the past few months. Do you have a problem with your relationship with Darren?" I took a deep breath and shook my head at what he said. There is really no problem in our relationship, the case is that he only loves me and he still loves Chiara.

Even though, we've been together for several months and he still doesn't love me.

Do I still have hope?