Chapter Forty Eight

As soon as we were back in PTV, I told Alexander the truth. I told him that I had completely fallen head over heels in love with him and I never wanted to be without him… but I also told him that that just wasn’t possible and that I was leaving… and I never wanted to come back.

It went… as well as you’d expect... Aka.. not well at all. He took it hard, I took it hard… and everyone else understood but they were upset over it too.. Again, as expected.

I had my life in England, I couldn’t just forget all about it and stay here… for one.. Legally, I’m sure refusing to leave the country was illegal...

So, We went out to dinner, I told him what I had decided, and when we got back to the apartments… we made love… for the last time. It was still a few days before I could get a flight out, but if I didn’t break it off now, I don’t think I’d have the strength to at any point.

I spent some more time with Ron, I spent some time with Jemma... And I spent some time with the club. We had a little memorial for Pulp and Kip.. mainly because their actual funeral wouldn’t be until after I left, but I wanted to say my goodbyes I’ll always feel that guilt. Nothing will ever change about that.

‘Are you sure you really have to go?’ Ron asked me for what felt like the millionth time, just today. I smiled sadly and nodded.

‘Yeah, I have to go back sooner or later’. I tried to keep the mood light. I could tell he really didn’t want me to go because he didn’t know when I would be back. I had hit the fact that I wasn’t planning to from everyone but Alexander, The goodbyes would be too hard otherwise.

‘I’m gonna miss you kid’.

‘I’ll miss you too, dad’. He pulled me in for another super tight hug and when we finally broke apart, Jemma pulled me into her arms and gave me another death-grip-cuddle.

‘Stay safe, darling’.

‘Thanks, Jem’. I know there was some tension at the start, with her comments and the obvious feelings, but I really liked Jemma, and I took comfort in the fact that I think she really liked me too… Despite how I came to be.

It takes a big woman to be able to overlook what Ron and my mother did... And an even bigger woman to accept me into her family, and she did both of those things. She was an incredible woman.

When my goodbyes with them had finished, it was time to say goodbye to the guys. One by one, they gave me a hug and some comforting words. They told me they would miss me, and I told every single one I’d miss them too, because, honestly… I would.

I really, really would.

Everyone I had met here in Pleasant Tree Ville had made me feel like family… a family I never had growing up.

I was genuinely sad to leave it, but I had too…

I couldn’t live this lifestyle… not after what had happened.

Alexander stood by his bike, watching our sad goodbyes. I knew Ron still wasn’t accepting of what had happened between me and him, but now I was leaving, he was happy for me to say goodbye privately so he, Jem and the others walked over to the clubhouse and waited for me.

‘So, are you really going?’ I nodded.

‘Unfortunately.’

‘Will you reconsider coming back in the future?’ I smiled sadly but shook my head.

‘You know I can’t.’ He looked away, nodding, knowing it was true.

‘You told me you loved me.’ His words caught me off guard.

‘I do love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life.' He walked over to me and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close and resting his free hand on my cheek.

‘If you love me, don’t leave.’ I closed my eyes and just leaned my face into his palm.

‘If you love me, you won’t make me feel guilty for going.’ I answered back.

‘Don’t forget about me.’ His voice was barely a whisper, but when I heard his words, they shattered my heart.

‘I never will.’ When I opened my eyes again, I looked up at him, seeing my own pain reflected in his eyes. ‘I promise.’

We shared one final, passionate kiss before my taxi pulled up at the gate and we headed over to everyone else. Harry had my bag and Alexander kept hold of my hand. They all walked me to the car, Ron held the door open, and I slid in the backseat.

‘See you soon?’ I just nodded, unable to verbally answer and lie to him.

He shut the door and tapped the roof, and with a wave out the back window, the taxi drove off, leaving everyone behind us as I headed to the airport.

Leaving my father.

Leaving my love.

Leaving Pleasant Tree Ville.

Forever.