Levi.
I must be dead because he looks like the grim reaper. No cloak but all black and chaos.
John’s body drops to the ground. I half expect Judas to emerge from the shadows backstage but while Levi is like this, it probably isn’t the smartest idea to. Considering he just committed murder in front of a group of people. A group of criminals I have to remind myself.
The crowd is silent, presumably keen to the violence he’s portraying. Even as he goes to undo my cuffs with a key, I’m not exactly sure where he’s obtained, they don’t move to stop him or verbally protest. Hell, they probably believe that this is part of the show, but this isn’t anything scripted to me.
This is raw emotion.
It’s dangerous.
When he has all of my limbs free and I slump to the ground, he catches me before I fall with an arm around my waist before he scoops me up and begins to carry me to those back stairs that led me up here in the first place.
My throat is so raw as I attempt to open my mouth and say his name. It’s embarrassing, the little squawk that comes out, but he doesn’t degrade me for that weakness. He carries me away from the scene of my assault. I cling to him because I don’t have the energy to fight, and quite frankly, I am a little confused about whether I should.
“Y-You saved me,” I manage to croak before I swallow more saliva and try to help heal any damage John has done to my vocal cords. “Why?”
I question him but the longer we move through the club in silence, the more it dawns on me that he’s not going to answer. He’s not concerned with my accusations right now. He’s concerned with my safety. That includes getting me as far away from here as possible. He won’t let anything get in his way. Not even more childlike abundance of questions.
Every part of me aches. I reach to gently rub my throat and my wrists are sore enough to make me hiss in pain.
I catch a glimpse of him frowning but I don’t comment on it as we get outside, and we move towards his familiar car.
“I didn’t think you’d come for me. I thought….”
I trail off because it’s hard to speak; even harder to admit that my judgment of him might be off.
“We all know how dangerous it is when you let your imagination run fucking wild,” He snaps when we get to the car and for a moment I feel like I have a piece of what we had before back. Levi’s sarcasm, safety, peace, even at the cost of being oblivious.
It’s despicable to find that comforting, so I must be a pretty despicable person because I cling to that comforting déjà vu as the valet opens his door and he deposits me onto the passenger seat.
I’m shivering when he climbs into the driver’s side. He twists his head to glance at me as I wrap my arms around my naked body before he tugs off his black jacket and drapes it over my lap. Wordlessly, he turns his attention back to the road and pulls away from the club.
I never want to go back there.
Ever.
“He would’ve killed you,” Levi snarls. I’m not exactly sure if it’s truly appointed to me or if he’s just venting, but still, I give him a minute to shuffle through the fury within him and continue. “Had I not shown up, you would be dead right now. Fucking dead and there would’ve been nothing I could do about it.”
His voice cracks a fraction – I almost believe I haven’t heard it – until I look up and see his bloodshot eyes as he glances at me once more.
He can’t be crying. It’s probably allergies. Men like him don’t cry. The lack of oxygen from being strangled has gotten to me.
“I was under the impression it’s what you wanted.”
He pounds his fists against the steering wheel, and I jump in my seat at the random display of anger. I attempt to snuggle beneath his jacket and slightly away from him and he swipes the back of his hand along his forehead.
“You really fucking believe that’s what I want?” He shoots daggers at me when our eyes meet again. His gaze is intense enough to make me look away. “You don’t know a goddamn thing about me, Sasha! Not one fucking thing!”
He booms loudly and it makes the entire car shake and yet, I hold my ground because I don’t’ want this honesty to end. Not when he likes to keep things bottled inside.
“Then tell me! Show me! Something!”
My brows furrow at the strain on my throat again and I press my hand to my throat.
“Crap,” I murmur.
I glance out the window of the car to avoid having to look at him.
“I know I walked out, but I –“
He shakes his head glancing at the time displayed in the car.
“There is no home. Not anymore. You cannot stay at my house.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not safe!”
He growls and whips the car sideways.
If we’re not going to his house then where the hell are we going?
“Stop,” I say. He doesn’t listen. He continues to drive and that fear I thought had receded creeps forward once again, emerging from the deepest depths of my mind. “Levi, stop driving!”
I scream because in the state he’s in, all amped up with murderous intent, it’s the only way to break through to him. He slams on the breaks as he pulls off onto the side of some back road. He turns off the car and whips his head sideways to glare at me.
“What, Sasha?” He hisses and I firm my lips as a million words circle my mind.
“Why are you doing this?”
He chuckles mirthlessly and throws his head back against the seat.
“I fucking ask myself that every minute of every fucking day! It makes no sense when you’re more trouble than you are worth.”
That feels like a smack in the face. My mouth falls agape slightly as I become speechless for a moment, but I don’t have to fill the silence. He huffs angrily, shoves fingers through his hair, and turns his attention forward.
“I don’t know where the fuck you’ll go but you can no longer stay with me. You are not safe. Not after tonight,” He replies matter-of-factly and I try to pretend I don’t feel sorrow from the finality of his words, but I do.
“Well, that’s probably a good thing. I can’t stay with the man who murdered my sister,” I bite back only because I feel wounded from his words, but truthfully, Judas’s words still linger in my head.
I’m not as sure as I once was about the reality of what happened.
I want the truth.
No matter what happens. I want the fucking truth.
“What happened, Levi,” I press firmly. He’s quiet as he wraps his hands around the steering wheel and squeezes tightly. He grits his teeth and I cross my arms over my chest, unbothered for the moment of how his jacket slides down to my waist and no longer covers my chest.
Instead of answering me, he turns the car back on. Before he can shift gears I place my hand atop his and stop him.
“Tell me,” I demand. He stiffens beside me. “Tell me!”
The desperation I feel can no longer be contained. It’s probably the adrenaline of the night but more than anything, I am pushing boundaries. After everything I’ve been put through because of the men Levi associates with, I deserve this explanation.
But would he not tell me just to torture me one last time? One last bit of control: one last thing he can hold over my head.
“It’s better this way, Sasha,” He says softly. It’s odd. A swift change from the bold anger that he could destroy the world with. This is a dangerously calm fury. Still just as deadly, so I remain cautious as he continues. “I need you to look at me like a monster. So, whatever the fuck you believe, just keep that as your truth. Keep it and fucking hate me.”
It’s bold of me to assume I can get him to talk, but I’m running out of options and out of time. He is going to relieve himself of the burden I’ve become, and I may never know the truth.
So I do what I think will give me closure.
I shift roles and I climb out of my seat and onto his lap.
He lets me. Uncertainty flickers in his eyes but once I’m on top of him, and I’ve clenched and unclenched my fists a few times to stop them from shaking, I grab his face hard with my hand and lower my mouth a centimeter above his.
“You are going to tell me.”
I capture his lips with mine and let free the moan of pleasure as our mouths mold together before I bite his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He groans at the pain, just like he has in the past, just like I’ve expected him to.
He’s unaware of this entity that is compelling me to seek answers in any way possible, so when I move my hand from his face to his throat and shove him back against the seat so my fingers are holding pressure on his neck, his eyes widen a fraction.
“What happened,” I whisper menacingly as my eyes flicker from his bloody lip to back up to his.
It’s not enough.
He doesn’t move to talk freely like I want him to. I become more frustrated and with that frustration comes violence that this night has awoken within me.
I move my mouth to his neck and bite. Not hard enough to leave him bleeding, but enough to break skin some and draw some pain. He moans and the sound is heavenly. Something about his moan just makes my insides liquify but I remain on task.
“Say it, Levi,” I whisper. I feel his cock hard and twitching in his pants, eager for more. I take my free hand and shove it up under his shirt before I dig my nails into his chest and drag them downward.
He hisses in pain before he presses his neck forward into my grasp just to feel my lips on his again.
“More,” He snarls.
I give him more.
More pain: nails digging into his skin, grip on his throat a little tighter, mouth biting the sensitive flesh of his neck and collarbone until my teeth marks riddle his skin.
More pleasure: I grind my naked core against his pulsating dick barely contained within his jeans until he’s thrusting his hips up against me and I’m losing my control from the exquisite pleasure.
“Tell me,” I rasp with ecstasy. “Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Fuckkkk, just tell me,” I groan when I feel myself getting close to coming all over his pants. I pull my hand out from beneath his shirt, lift my hips enough to unzip his zipper and free his dick before I position him at my entrance.
The head of his dick is pressed against my warm, moist entrance. I look him square in the eye, an intense lust accompanied by an eagerness for the truth.
“Levi, give me the truth.”
With those last words I slide my pussy down along his length, clenching my walls tightly around him, and just as our bodies become one, he speaks.
“I didn’t start the fire.”
He pants as he fills me.
“Jesse ordered it. But I didn’t stop it. I was too late. In the end, it was my fault anyway. I am her murderer just as much as them.”