Trigger Warning: Physical and sexual assault
My performance on stage will not be void of my terror. I'm not that good an actor. One of my biggest flaws is how blatantly I wear my emotions. There's no secret of my discomfort, and for a moment when I believe it will help deter buyers from me, I realize in a sinister club during a night like this, my fear may arouse the likes of them.
A dull ache lingers in my cheek where Judas has slapped me, but it is nothing to the crushing weight of panic that has claimed my lungs. I pant as my heart begins to pound when Judas begins to lead me out of the room down a dark hallway I've never ventured in Gentleman's club.
"Please, you don't have to do this. I am done with Levi," I say as a last-ditch effort to save my own skin from the meaty palms of some international monster waiting to abuse me—probably even worse than Levi—in which I am sure will be my demise. Finally.
It does nothing to settle me. I thought being reunited with my family would stomp out the flame of my will to live, but it doesn't. I want to live. It's as simple as that.
"Don't waste your breath," Judas hisses as we round another corner and stop in front of a door. His fingers are digging into the sides of my neck as he holds the back of it to lead me around like it's a leash. "Soon that mouth will be stuffed with a thick cock, and you'll find yourself taking the simple pleasure of even breathing for granted."
He's repulsive; utterly fucking repulsive. The disgust on my face is too forceful to hide so I bear it making sure there is no mistake of how I perceive him. My hatred only makes him chuckle.
The sound is deep and sinister causing all the hairs along my body to stand on end. When the door in front of us is ripped open, I stifle my surprised gasp and am shoved forward, almost falling on my hands and knees up the steps to the stage.
This is unreal.
I'm not really going to have Judas touching in front of an audience of hungry, sadistic rich men and women, am I?
As I climb up the steps, I am thankful that the curtains are closed at the moment. As soon as I get a few steps onto the stage, eyes taking in the different props from whips to rope and suspension, a lump forms in my throat.
"Judas, please, I am telling you. You don't want something like this on your conscience," I urge him, and he scoffs.
"I've had worse to bear, Sasha," He replies before he ends up chaining my cuffs to this hook suspended from the ceiling. "Besides, I'm not doing anything."
I frown with confusion, eyes adjusting to the strange lighting that sets the dark ambiance of this evening.
I yelp, when I feel a hand along my lower back while knowing Judas, is not near me. He is a few feet to my left preparing some instruments to be used on stage.
"Stop. S-stop! Or I'll scream," I snarl at him and Judas chuckles as the man behind me reaches around to cup my breasts. I inhale a sharp breath at the contact and viciously whip my head sideways to try and get a glimpse of this man.
"Please do. You might get us more money than anticipated," Judas replies amusedly. If my hands weren't chained, I would lash out. I'd lash out and wrap these cuffs around his throat and squeeze until there was no life left.
Even in my head, those words scare me.
They are not the words of the naïve girl who sold herself to a brutal man and struggled to give him exactly what he needed.
These are the words of the monster he's begun to groom.
He always said he wanted to be deserving of me.
He'd probably be proud of the ruthless thoughts in my mind.
But that doesn't matter to me anymore.
Even though part of me hopes he will come and stop this madness if to receive forgiveness for his past sins. Save the sister of the woman you killed. Bam redemption.
As horrible as it sounds, Levi is the lesser of two evils right now.
"What's wrong Sasha? Scream if you'd like. I'd prefer it," He goads as he steps near me with some kind of leather paddle. He offers it to the man standing behind me who now steps around to retrieve it.
Oh my god.
It is the man who cut open my sweatshirt at Levi's business associates' home. He grins at the recognition in my eyes before he takes the leather paddle and runs it down my stomach. I kick my legs and as a punishment, earn a slap of the paddle against my pussy.
The stinging sensation has the breath leaving my body as I tense my stomach.
"Keep it up, Sasha. Authenticity tends to get the crowd riled."
Judas nods to John who sets down the paddle before he roughly grabs my ankle. I cry out and Judas captures my chin in his hand tight enough to leave finger bruises.
"Your insolence will turn your skin red from the beatings, even with that darker complexion of yours."
He roughly releases my face and I flex my jaw to help with the pain of his firm grip.
The sound of conversation begins to fill the stage. I can picture the size of the crowd by how many muffled voices I hear and that's when panic really surges inside of me. I try to swing my free leg to kick John but I miss and he grabs that after already chaining the other ankle.
He yanks my leg hard, spreading me completely and I feel utterly powerless as his hand trails up my inner thigh, so close to my pussy.
"Stop," I hiss. He grins at my discomfort.
"Not a fucking chance," He counters cockily before he lets his fingers graze over my slit.
"I swear to fucking god—"
Judas clicks his tongue.
"Enough, Sasha. Save the desperation and anger for the show."
He winks condescendingly before he begins moving off stage. Someone else is announcing for the night. It's a woman. It sounds like the same woman who lured me into the room with Judas.
I don't know for sure because by the time she's done talking up what's about the happen, she's no longer present when the curtains begin to open.
I'm frozen when I spot the large crowd. Predators as far as the eye can see. Women, men, all kinds of people all exuding that hunger. The same kind that Levi did.
My fear is crippling. Even as John moves to retrieve the leather paddle and begins gliding it down my body again. I cringe, but it's a fraction compared to what I really want to do.
I want to break free of these chains and burn this place to the ground.
It'll take the memories of my father with it because I shouldn't have been stupid enough to believe I'd prosper going to the place my abuser loved to frequent. I shouldn't have expected anyone better than him.
This isn't a place someone goes to practice religious beliefs of societal morals. This is a debasing place. One of low morality. One of pain, sex, fetish—whatever true evil of one's desires.
I have truly gone and got myself into something that will destroy me.
I realize that now.
I decide my best bet is to try not to react.
Don't give John or the audience any ammo. Nothing to use against me or give them the satisfaction that they've won.
I grit my teeth as the paddle makes contact with my slit again but at least he isn't spanking it.
I thought those words too soon. Just as I take a deep relieved breath that he'll be gentle at least, he smacks the leather paddle against my folds again.
I curse beneath my breath and that earns some deep, excited breaths from the crowd.
Just get through this, Sasha.
Get through it.
I try to convince myself I'm strong enough, but my weak mental thoughts are doing absolutely nothing.
I am not strong.
Nor have I ever been. If I was, I would've never come here. But people change.
Tears begin to sting my eyes as he lifts the end of the paddle that's just smacked and rubbed against my slit, to his mouth where he darts out his tongue to taste the results of his merciless actions.
He groans enjoying the nectar that in no way is meant for him.
"Even like this, you're becoming wet. You like the abuse don't you, filthy little whore?" John spews at me like I'm beneath him and I flinch at those words. They remind me of the filth that would leave my fathers' mouth. A little less about being wet, and more about being a filthy whore.
Bile rises in my throat, rancid on the back of my tongue. I swallow it and pull against my restraints to no avail. What really scares me to the core is the widened, frenzied gazes of the one's who seem turned on from my panic and fear.
With each minute ticking by I'm convinced that Levi won't show up.
Why would he?
Judas got it wrong. He was probably trying to toy with me. Levi isn't coming. He probably is in on the profit gain of tonight and the torment I'm receiving.
John grabs me by my throat, lowering his mouth to my lips where he forces a kiss upon them, but I bite down hard on his mouth and grin when he curses and jumps back. Blood dots his mouth and I know I've bitten hard enough to break the skin.
Guess John isn't into switching roles. He doesn't like to be assaulted in the same way he's attempting to do to me.
He raises his hand and lands a slap against my face that resounds in the room. My other cheeks sting now, and I can't reach to stroke my angered skin. The powerless feeling makes a few tears slip from my eyes and roll down my cheeks and that's what pisses me off more than anything.
So I decide to let loose my tongue.
"What's the matter, you can dish pain but can't handle it? You're pathetic," I snap at him and there are a few audible gasps from the audience. John's eyes narrow into slits. I'm satisfied by the fury in his gaze as he sweeps his eyes down me, but I am also terrified.
"You aren't a real man," I continue, even when I hear my voice crack. The chains groan against my weight as I shift.
John marches forward and grabs me by the throat. His squeezing hold makes me choke and gasp for air that doesn't seem to be getting to my lungs.
I've pushed him too far. Now he's going to kill me. Not that I expected a fate better than this, I just didn't expect death to come so soon. I was idiotically hopeful.
Even if Levi gets here, I will be a corpse by then.
I would claw at his hand, but I'm bound.
Trapped.
Just like my sister was amongst the ring of Fire that ate away at the walls and floor, turning her life to ash before her eyes when she'd finally awaken to the insurmountable heat.
Just as my lungs feel like they’re going to burst, and the stinging heat of suffocation reaches its peak, I’m freed from his grasp.
I’m hanging by the cuffs. They’re biting into my skin hard enough to dislocate the bone but all I can do is gasp for air.
I cough as I drag it into my lungs and when I lift my gaze, vision slightly blurred from the tears of almost dying, I see Levi like the angel of death dressed in all black with his arms wrapped around John's neck.
With one powerful motion and a growl that would startle the devil himself, he snaps John’s throat.