Chapter 55

POV Melissa

"I didn't expect Kaleo to act like this, which makes everything so much worse. I expected him to yell and rant from the beginning, to get angry.

But since I started talking, he just seems extremely lost and so... disappointed. With every detail I give, he only gets more sad, more disappointed in me. He doesn’t even raise his voice at me.

'You had a lot of males, then? Just through the internet?' A deep wrinkle forms between his eyebrows, and the way he looks at me now has no trace of the tenderness that Kaleo I knew once had.

'No!' I shout, because he can't understand things this way. 'I never had a relationship with any of those men, it was purely work.'

'Explain that to me better, Melissa,' he orders, saying my name without the 'H' and using a cold tone as he stiffens his shoulders, taking a firmer posture. This is definitely General Ni talking to me, not Kaleo. 'Explain everything to me from the beginning.'

'I was very young when I started, I had just turned twenty and liked the attention from those males.' I decide to be completely honest then, but it’s really hard to speak when all I want to do is hide. 'Every day I had to put on a different outfit, it was like appreciation, you know? But I didn’t have a real male, no one touched me. It was all through video and... I got a lot of things and... they always remembered my birthday, gave me Christmas presents. I felt special.'

The shame inside me just grows, and I shrink more and more, because it sounds so stupid when I say these things out loud, and I think Kaleo probably thinks it's stupid too, because he wrinkles his nose and lets out a thick puff of smoke.

It’s like I can watch, second by second, his opinion of me changing drastically. And that’s definitely torturous. But I know I have to tell him, I can’t run anymore.

'After I started being a camgirl, I finally slept knowing I would have food the next day, and I started having time to study, to learn everything about Earth. But then, I got tired of it and... and then I got here and...'

'Why didn’t you tell me all this when you arrived then? If you really didn’t have any male and if things are like you’re telling me now, why did you keep lying to me?!' He interrupts me with his sharp words, with his cold and angry questions.

I think at first, Kaleo didn’t understand anything, I’d explain things, and he’d just look lost. But now he’s really understanding, and that’s definitely worse. Maybe I’m getting close to the moment when he’ll explode, and nothing will be left between us.

'I... I...' I try to find the right words, but the truth is simple. 'I was scared,' I admit quietly, and he squints his eyes, clearly not believing me, which makes me want to cry even more. Damn it, Melissa! 'We didn’t know each other, I’d never heard of your race, Kaleo, and humans don’t usually get treated well out there.'

'But you know me now, why didn’t you tell me? Why not yesterday? Or the day before? Or days ago?!' He gets furious, and more thick smoke comes out of his nostrils, which makes me panic. 'Why, after all these days by my side, after spending all these nights with me, didn’t you tell me any of this, Melissa?!'

Kaleo's red eyes manage to grow cold. He’s so close to me, yet more distant than ever.

'I’m sorry,' I whisper, my whole face burning with shame.

'You should be mine. Only mine, Melissa.' As he speaks, a thick tear runs down his cheek, breaking my heart and telling me I may have just lost him, because I’ve never seen this male cry before. 'If you had told me about your past from the beginning, I might have tried to trust you, but now it's been too many days since you've been here and still stayed silent!'

'I just didn’t want to lose you, because I’ve never had anything like you in my life,' I admit, and I try to place my hand in his, but at that moment Kaleo throws his body back, not wanting to be touched by me."

***

"Don't come near me, female!" he snarls, and it's as if a knife has been shoved into my chest.

He's treating me like a stranger now, looking at me with a harsh, very apparent repulsion, and I don't even know how to respond. I’m completely paralyzed, especially since we're both still in heat and he's messing with our emotions.

"Sorry," I whisper, lowering my head because I can't keep looking at Kaleo right now. It hurts too much.

"I need space, Melissa, if that’s even your name. There’s too much fire inside me," he says with hatred, and in a swift motion, he stands up and walks out of the room.

I panic at his reaction and run after him, but the azuri is much faster, and before I can reach him, Kaleo enters one of the cabins and locks himself inside.

"Please, let’s talk," I whimper, panicking and bursting into tears, trying to open the door. But of course, I have no success, and now I'm just talking to myself in this empty hallway, my voice echoing through the house. "I-I didn't tell you because I didn’t want to lose you to someone else. I didn’t want you to return me and buy another human, to give up on the marriage because I wasn’t a 'young female.' I just wanted to be yours!"

By this point, I'm screaming, pouring my heart out to the giant blue man who is definitely hearing me because he has excellent hearing.

"You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and every day here, I just felt more guilty and scared because I knew I couldn’t leave!" I yell, praying for a miracle, while desperation eats away at my body, and I bang on the door as hard as I can with my fists.

What am I going to do without Kaleo? What will become of me?

Even if I can leave Selvaria and go back to live in space on a human ship, how will I survive year after year knowing that I ruined my chance with the best man I’ve ever known?

"I don’t want to leave anymore, I want to live with you! Please, let me stay with you!"

But I continue to receive only silence from Kaleo. He doesn’t say a word, and maybe he's not even in the cabin anymore. The alien might have gone out the window to cool off in the forest, leaving me here talking to the walls.

So after about ten minutes of screaming and my right hand already hurting from banging on the door, I just sit with my back against the bedroom door where he went in, put both hands on my face, and cry uncontrollably.

"I’m so s-sorry, I can’t change my past, b-but if you still want me, I promise I’ll be the b-best little wife an azuri ever had," I say, but I’m already sure no one is listening, so I'm just venting.

It’s better to get everything off my chest, and then Kaleo should talk to Cirion so he can get me a ship, and the azuri won’t have to look at a liar like me anymore. He must hate me now because he has such a strong moral code, after all, Kaleo is a general.

"I was never anyone else's. I lost my virginity, met some humans, but just like you, I never had a companion. Th-those videos shouldn’t even be on the site, but Unob always used our images the way he wanted. He has a ship full of women like me, who can’t go back to Earth and have no other place to go. And now that I-I’ve found the best place in space to stay, I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want to lose this."

I pause for a moment, breathe, no more tears left to cry, and dry my face. I think nothing I say will change the fact that I’ve been an idiot all this time, and if he's still listening, I don’t want to stress him out enough to overheat and have his skin fall off, so all I can do is wait and be ready for whatever Kaleo decides.

"Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me? You're not hiding anything from me, are you?" Suddenly, I hear Kaleo's low voice from the other side of the door, and my heart feels like it’s going to leap out of my chest with how fast it’s beating.