|25| Fedelini-2

"Not at all," Nathan said, his hand finding mine under the table and squeezing. "I see you're taking it slow, Izzy," Ant said, nodding at my prosecco glass. "Scarred for life?" He then pulled a face. "Urgh. I meant that metaphorically. Bad choice of words. Sorry." I sensed Nathan looking between the two of us and immediately regretted my decision not to tell him about the car incident. At the time, I hadn't wanted to worry him over something that would seem like a much bigger deal than it actually was. Now, however, it risked looking that way regardless due to me deciding not to share it with him. "I think my liver needs a rest after last time," I replied. Ant rolled his eyes. "You're, what, twenty-one? Your liver can take it." "Had a bit too much, did you?" Nathan asked me. His eyes twinkled but his hand had stilled in mine, and I wondered what thoughts occupied his head. Maybe Jasmine could tell. She was good at reading my mind, after all. I looked at her for help and she stepped up to the plate without needing any further encouragement. "Hardly," she said with a scoff. "Someone has to be sensible around here." As usual, Ant completely missed the signals. "Please. You can get tipsy and still be sensible. If you're worrying about that car, Izzy, it's like we keep telling you. Whether you were drunk or not, he still would have hit you." "Sorry. What car?" Nathan's icy tone cut through the conversation, and Ant picked up on the increasingly tense atmosphere at last. "It's not a big deal," I said to Nathan. He twisted in his chair to face me, his face somehow a mixture of concern and annoyance. I knew how it felt to be angry at someone but unable to hide the fact you're also concerned. I'd felt it with him. "You got hit by a car?" he asked me. "A car bumped into my side," I said. "And you didn't think to tell me?" "Like I said, it wasn't a big deal and we're not discussing it here." Nathan opened his mouth as if to argue, but then thought better of it. Regardless, tension thickened the air, rendering it impossible to maintain a light-hearted conversation. When I'd finished my prosecco and my water, I pushed both glasses into the centre of the table and dragged my chair back. "I think we'll head off," I announced. "Nice seeing you guys." We walked back through the square in silence. Although we held hands, it was a pretence. A habit. His grip felt too tight, as though he was brimming with emotions that he struggled to control. Or maybe he was just trying to stop me getting hit by another car. Jasmine chatted non-stop, but the conversation was between her and me. Nathan's mind was elsewhere, and I wished the walk home would be longer to delay the inevitable argument. We'd been doing so well. Things had been great. But it was my doing this time. An ill-judged decision. Usually the premise behind every good argument. As soon as we arrived at the flat, Jasmine disappeared into her room to give us privacy. Nathan sank down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hand, and I perched on the edge of the table, watching him. From an outsider's perspective, he might have just looked tired from travelling, the way his shoulders slumped, and his eyes closed. But maybe he was tired. Tired of a relationship that had gone from almost perfect to almost breakable. Blissful mornings cuddling to stressful evenings arguing. Affectionate voicemails to stroppy messages. Metres apart to miles apart. "I understand why you're annoyed with me," I said. "And I'm sorry." He lowered his hand from his head and raised his eyes to meet mine. "You got hit by a car. You got smashed and then you got hit by a car." It wasn't a question, but I replied anyway. "I wasn't smashed. They didn't say that, did they?" "They didn't have to. It was obvious from Ant's comment and Jasmine's need to jump in and defend you." "She wasn't defending me." "Defending you, misleading me—whichever way you want to look at it." "That's not how it was, Nathan." "I know you, Bella. You're not the kind of person who goes out and gets smashed. So that's how I know Ant wasn't exaggerating. Because that kind of thing is only worth bringing up if it hardly ever happens." I took a deep breath and counted to five. I didn't want to argue, especially with Jasmine so nearby. She'd shut her bedroom door, but she'd still be able to hear. Privacy didn't exist in a flat with walls this thin. "Are you annoyed about the drinking or the car?"