ARIANA
I was sitting on the ground, of the bathroom. A mirror was placed in front of me. I had a clipper in my hands. I was staring at my reflection, crying non stop. I couldn't do it. Huge chunks of my hair started falling out. The doctors suggested that I had shaved my head. Everytime I turned on the electric clippers, my hands just wouldn't move to do the deed.
I never even wanted to chop my hair. And suddenly, I was told to get rid of them all at once. I threw the clipper on the mirror, shattering the whole thing. Shards of glass buried into my skin, oozing the blood out but I didn't care. I buried my face in my hands and cried. I was whaling without care. Anyone who finds it pity could go fuck themselves for all I cared.
After a while, when I had started to calm down a little, the door of the bathroom flung open. I looked up with my teary eyes and found Enzo walking in. He didn't say anything. He didn't question me. He just grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet and walked over to me. He scooped me up with one hand without breaking a sweat. Surely, I wasn't as heavy as I used to be.
Cancer made me lose a lot of weight. I thought it was the work and constant stress. But I never would have known. He brought me out of the bathroom. And laid me down on the bed. He turned on the lights then sat down on the bed, crossing his legs. I was watching him face changing it's expressions. The hard look he had on his face, might only be an act. Soon, he just stopped pretending.
His face contoured with pain. He slowly and very gently, placed my feet on his lap. He took a ball of cotton from the kit, soaked it in anticipation. Then I watched him slowly clean my wounds. My blood had dried over the wounds. He was very careful.
“Aren't you gonna rent on me?” He asked, his voice cracking.
“What do you mean?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“You know! You can rent on me. Tell me that it's all my fault.” I watched a sole tear escaping his eyes. He was trying not to break down in front of me but he couldn't help himself at that point.
“Do you want me to feel even worse? I'm just too exhausted to even play the blame game. I want to sleep.” I was honest with him after a long time. It was true. I knew he was already feeling bad. He had been, since I came back. And he was trying to take it all, all my hatred and berating, as if it can wash his sins off.
“Then close your eyes. I promise, I'll be very gentle. You won't feel a thing.” Believing his words, I closed my eyes. Despite the throbbing pain in my legs, I was able to calm down.