194
ERICA'S POV:-
The maid took me towards a bedroom. I could remember Alpha Kaden's room. I was given the room right next to his room. I was not surprised at all when the maid escorted me towards that bedroom. I had to wait for a few minutes though. Until my bedroom was ready. I came with Alpha Kaden for a reason. But I knew well that my birthday party was at Blake's mansion. I received that text in the morning. I was excited to see what Alen had left for me. I had seen him buying a bunch of stuff for me. But all I cared about was the letter he left me. I couldn't wait to get it and read it. I wanted to know what he wanted to say.
The maid gave me a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. With that, she left me alone. I went to take a bath. After a long shower, I wore my clothes and decided to go for a walk. I just couldn't help myself. It was not my fault that my father was a monster. And alpha Kaden was still punishing me for everything my dad did to Alicia. Yes, I have known her. I knew everything about Alpha Kaden 's sister. And what my father did to her. He didn't know everything that happened to her. But I did. I was with her all that long. I couldn't care less what he thought about me. Not anymore. Thanks to Alen, I didn't need anyone to tell me what I had to do.
Alen made sure that I would never need to depend upon anyone. He trained me to be independent and strong. I stepped out of the mansion and walked towards the woods. I always liked to be left alone. Probably because all my life I had spent in a room..I was not allowed to step out of my room. I was not allowed to meet anyone. I was not even allowed to talk to the maids in my father's mansion. Living the life of a prisoner messes up with you. It messes up with me too. After becoming a knight, I still loved to spend my time alone rather than being surrounded by people I was not comfortable to be around.
Not that I was a mean person or something. I was not. I tried to be as positive and helpful towards others as possible. I always looked at Samia to be my inspiration. And I loved being around the pack. The pack as the knight. Alen tried to change that. He tried to pull me out of my comfort zone. He tried to help me make new friends. I did make new friends and all. But it was impossible for me to get out of my comfort zone. He once even asked me if I do it on purpose. Then I told him that since I was able to understand, I found myself locked in my bedroom. He finally understood that this was who I was. And he couldn't change anything about me anymore.
I reached the part where the river bank was. I went towards the river bank and sat up on a rock. I was staring at the flowing water. I remembered how much Alen always liked swimming in the river. It was his favourite place for the picnic. Being around flowing water made him happy. According to him, the water had the best destiny of all. No matter how big the walls are. No matter how many rocks are in its way. The water always finds a way to be free. It was surely an inspiration. And knowing the fact that both Alen and I had been locked most of our lives, we were able to understand each other better.
Alen never judged me for sitting at the far corner of the meeting room while around people. He knew that I tried hard. But being around people was not my thing. I was happy the way I really was. A droplet of water fell on the back of my hand. That pulled me back to reality. I didn't realise that I was crying this whole time. Or maybe my tears were not ready to stop just yet. "What are you going to do, Erica? The people around us hate us. I can feel the daggers of people's hatred stabbing our skin. And I can't believe I am saying this, but I can't live like this." Macy said in a low tone as I wiped my tears.
Macy was not the only one who was feeling people drilling holes inside my skull with their eyes the moment I stepped out of that car. It was surprising for me to hear Macy complaining about her favourite place in this world. Macy always wanted me to come back here. According to her, we truly belonged here. At Alpha Kaden's pack. Back then, I was so terrified of the fact Alpha Kaden could hurt me again, I refused to even listen to her. But after Alen, I just wanted to run away. Every single place in the city, every fucking office in the Knight HQ reminded me of the fact that Alen was no longer around me. That was the reason I came to the pack.
That was the only place that reminded me of everything, every hardship I had been through all my life. That meant that it was supposed to hurt a little less. But of course, it was not easy to forget the man I was madly in love with. Macy used to brag about me jumping on my mate the moment I would feel the bond. It was actually Macy who wanted to force me to get laid with Alpha Kaden. I could feel the spark. I could feel the pull of this mate bond. But yet my heart still felt so cold. Like there was a darkness that had surrounded my heart completely. I felt a hole in the centre of my chest.
A hollow space that was never going to be filled. Maybe one day, I would be able to move on. Maybe one day it would hurt a little less than it was hurting me back then. That was the only thing I could think of to stay sane. That was the only thing that was giving me enough hope so I could live. Memories were the worst. The more you try to push them away. The more they laugh at you, taunting you. "I don't know, Macy. I needed a little time to think and figure out what I want to do next. And it was you who always thought that this is where we belonged." I replied to her in a low tone.
I didn't want to taunt her. But I couldn't help myself. She was my wolf and I wanted her to understand that forgiving someone was not that easy. For her sake, I forgave Alpha Kaden. But it didn't mean that I had that kind of courage that I would just jump on him because he was my fucking mate. It was way harder than I thought it could be. Without Alen, it was hard for me. He was my strength. And now that he was gone, I didn't have anyone who could understand me. I never thought that I would ever think about it in my life. I missed my father. At that moment, the locked room door was better for me than being free.
"I don't want to talk about it. Once we leave for the birthday, I will ask Samia if I could stay with her for a while. I am not ready to go back to our apartment. It smells like Alen. And it hurts. It even hurts more when people here look at me as if I am a murderer." I replied to Macy in a low tone. By that time, I was crying crazily. My eyes were hurting due to the constant crying. My throat was sore due to all the screaming and roaring. Macy didn't feel anything because she was never attached to Alen. And I couldn't expect her to understand what I was going through. It felt like someone had actually set me on fire.
A pair of strong arms wrapped around me and I flinched. I turned my head and found Carlos sitting beside me. He wiped my tears then pulled me to his chest. "You are not alone, sweetheart. Samia and I think that you should come back home. If you want to stay here, I will not force you." He whispered in my ear while rubbing my back.
I couldn't stop myself anymore. I hugged him as tightly as I could. "I thought there was no place left in this world where I would be welcomed. Take me back home, please. I can't bear to see people looking at me with accusing eyes. For something I didn't even do." I whispered back in a low tone. I complained how hard it was for me to be around those people.