Chapter 59 What Would It Take
THE MANSION felt colder when Lena got home. She immediately found her daughter in the living area, doing something on her sketch pad. Lucian isn't with her, she was with a maid.
"Mama!" Angel ran to her and kissed her cheek.
Lena smiled, hugging her and kissing her hair. "I'll just change my clothes. Have you eaten dinner?"
Angel nodded happily. "Yes, Mama. I ate outside with Uncle Lucian."
"He picked you up?" Lena asked. Lucian is still grounded, he shouldn't continue disobeying his own father.
"No," Angel answered. "He rode with me when the driver came to pick me up."
Lena nodded and pressed her lips together. She left her daughter in the living area and went upstairs to their bedroom. She took a quick shower and got out of the bathroom wearing only a towel wrapped around her naked body when someone whistled.
She turned to the balcony. Lucian was there, sitting on the railing while smirking, watching her with desire dancing in his eyes.
Lena swallowed hard. "Turn around, I'm gonna get dress."
The corner of his lips rose. "I've already seen everything," he reasoned, but he still turned around.
Lena quickly dressed and tapped the glass door afterwards. She sat on the vanity and started drying her hair with the towel.
She saw Lucian walk towards her through the mirror. He stood behind her and grabbed the towel from her. He started drying her hair gently.
"Got a hair blower?" Lucian asked. Lena just opened the drawer, handed him the hair blower without saying anything.
Lucian paused, noticing her silence. He stared at her through the mirror. Their eyes were locked like he was trying to read what's in her mind.
He sighed, and then he put the hair blower on the vanity table before he squatted beside her, his left knee on the floor as he gently touched her chin.
"What's wrong?" He asked, voice so gentle that Lena found it hard to speak.
Her chest tightened, tears welling in her eyes, blurring him into fragments of light and shadow. She wanted to hold it in, but her reactions betrayed her.
"Magdalena, tell me what's wrong." His voice was firm but tender, carrying a thread of alarm, like he was so ready to attack whoever made her feel so down.
His hands cupped her face gently, eyes lingering carefully. His thumbs brushed away the wetness already spilling from her lashes. That's when she realized she's already crying.
She pressed her lips together, but the truth found its way out. "Lucian...I-I feel guilty." Her voice
His brows furrowed. "Guilty? For what?"
Her tears streamed harder, sobs escaped her lips. She wanted so much to just dissolve in his warmth, to lose herself in his love, to let him do all the fighting, but the weight inside her pressed her down, keeping her stuck in between duty and desire.
"For us," she whispered. "For this forbidden love. I don't know if I'm taking the right path, Lucian. I don't know if what we're doing is right anymore."
The words cut the air like glass shattering. It was a fact they're both trying so hard to avoid. Lena knows Lucian is aware of that.
Lucian's grip on her tightened instinctively, like he was afraid she might vanish. His jaw clenched, his eyes darkened. "Don't say that. Don't ever think that way. You and I? We're not wrong. We love each other. You love me, right? That's the only truth that matters."
Her sobs tore from her throat, painful and full of guilt. She shook her head violently, her hand touched his hand on her right cheek, her trembling body leaned toward him like a moth to flame, dangerously attracted.
"How will everything be right, Lucian?" Her voice was broken, hoarse, and sad. "Tell me how? I'm promised to marry your father."
Those words were terrifyingly painful. Lucian froze. His hands fell away from her face, curling into fists at his sides. His breath became heavy, his body tense with a rage he tried to swallow and deny as he shook his head, staring into her eyes.
"You told me..." he said slowly, his voice trembling under the weight of suppressed fury while heaving. "You told me you would tell him. That you'd end it once he got back from his trip. You told me that, Magdalena. Baby, you can't give up on us..."
"I did." Lena nodded. "But we don't know what Viktor would do. You don't understand. He's powerful. He can destroy everything. He could ruin you, Lucian. He hates betrayal. And he's your father..." Her voice cracked with pain. "I can't bear to think I'd be the reason your life is shattered."
Lucian's eyes burned with anger. He pulled himself up, staring down at her with eyes mirroring his rage and pain.
"Why do you always think you're a poison to me? Why do you keep on thinking that this is wrong? This is not wrong, Magdalena! What's wrong is you forcing yourself to pay your debt to my father through marriage." His voice thundered, raw and jagged. "Don't you trust me?"
"It's not about trust!" She shook her head, lips trembling . "It's about reality! This is about the complication this relationship brings! Lucian, this isn't just love, it's war. Between you and your father. How do you expect me to live with that?"
His face twisted in fury and frustration. He raked his fingers through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of her as if he was thinking. Then he stopped, and stared at her face again.
"I don't care about complications!" he roared. His eyes were sharp and was ready to fight whatever battle he's facing. "I don't care about anything else. It's you who matters to me, Magdalena. I will fight for us even if I bleed to death. Isn't that enough?"
Her heart ached. Her sobs shook her fragile frame as her shoulders trembled. "No, it's not enough!" Lena wiped her wet cheeks with trembling hands, but the tears kept coming endlessly.
"I can't keep living like this." She bit her bottom lip and stared back into his eyes. "I'm terrified I'll end up ruining you."
Lucian stepped forward, grabbing her shoulders, his grip was firm and desperate, but not too hard to hurt her. His eyes burned, glassy with emotion. The determination to fight for what they built was evident on his face. It's like Lena had no other choice but to stand beside him and let him do the fighting.
"Then ruin me," he whispered harshly, his teeth gritted so hard. "Ruin me if that's what it takes to have you. Because living without you was what would truly destroy me."