Chapter 8

"Bro what? Did you say you and Jonas kissed? Your roommate, Jonas? Y'all kissed? Bro?" Joey screamed loudly while looking at me like I've suddenly developed a second head on my shoulders, we were currently in class in the middle of the day, waiting for our professor to come in, I decided to use that use that opportunity to talk to Joey about has been happening between Jonas and I staring from Tuesday's evening, but that is starting to seem like a really bad idea to bring up in class with the way almost everyone's eyes were on Joey and I.

"Joey! The fuck? Stop shouting," I whispered to him with a scowl and Joey being Joey rolled his eyes and glared at everyone until everyone returned back to what they were doing. He turned back to me and looked me up and down a few times before glancing at his phone which suddenly light up then back at me.

"So, bestie... you kissed a guy?" Joey demanded in a whisper-shout, thankfully.

"I said Jonas kissed me. I didn't do the kissing," I reminded him immediately.

Yeah, right. Of course you didn't do the kissing.

"Wow. I mean, y'all kissed deeply, right?" Joey continued and I hesitated for a moment before nodding my head. I anticipated the smile on Joey's face before it peaked out, I didn't see the bone crushing hug coming though, Joey threw his arms around my neck and squeezed until I pulled him off my neck and glared at him because it seems like his plan was to strangle me instead of giving me a hug for reasons I know nothing about.

"I'm just too excited, I can't even breathe well, please tell me you're not pulling my legs," Joey gushed out. His silly excitement was apparent in his voice.

"I'm fucking serious, why the hell would I lie about something like that?" I demanded then continued immediately, "And besides, there's so much I'm confused about and need to talk to you about." I gnawed on my lips and pushed my hair out of my face.

Joey watched my face in silence for a minute before demanding quietly, "I'm guessing something more happened?"

I nodded my head reluctantly, I wanted to talk to someone about it and Joey was literally the best person to talk to about something like that, no matter how embarrassing it was going to be for me.

Joey covered his mouth with his bag and screamed into it and I couldn't help but chuckle at his dramatic personality amidst my restlessness.

"We're going to talk about it after classes," Joey finally said after screaming his excitement away into his bag because he knew how much I hated unwanted attention.

I nodded my head immediately, I couldn't wait.

I'd be done with classes by 4 p.m. while Jonas's classes ended by 6 p.m., which was why I'm going to be talking to Joey first. I remembered how Jonas had almost kissed me in the kitchen this morning and I had fled out of nervousness and guilt. 

Somehow, I was really grateful to Jonas for not bringing up what had happened between us in his room, the night before. Lord knows I wouldn't have been able to handle it this morning. I know we're still going to talk about it sooner or later, and I wasn't too thrilled since it was going to involve honesty and transparency, something I didn't even know where exactly I stood in that topic.

The professor finally made her way into our class, and I heaved out a sigh, forcing those thoughts to the back of my mind as I dug out my required textbooks for the course.

******

"So, you mean y'all actually did all that?" Joey asked slowly, staring at me with his eyes blown wide and his mouth which was currently filled with chewed chips, an unpleasant sight of You'd ask me.

I nodded my head while slowly eating my chips, I was currently sitting on Joey's bed which Joey sat opposite me, drinks, more chips and bottles of water was arranged on the far end of the bed since knowing Joey, he might start bouncing on the bed out of excitement I burst open a water with his butt, or something worse.

After finishing classes, Joey suggested we go to his house since he wanted to drag out all the juicy details word for word. We both got in his car, and he drove away.

Due to some personal reasons, Lucas didn't attend classes today. I wasn't too surprised since people missed class a lot. Too bad I wasn't one of them. I've almost never missed a day in school, except that time I caught the flu and had to stay indoors.

"Bitch what? Oh my gosh, I can't fully wrap my head around what you just explained to me. It still sounds so unreal..." Joey trailed off on his excited rant and I rolled my eyes as I shoved a handful of chips into my mouth.

"Get over it already, Joey." I shoved a pillow into his face when he kept gloating. He pushed the pillow away from his face, totally unfazed as he proceeded to insert a few pieces of chips into his mouth.

"So, y'all made out really intensely, and he wanted to kiss you this morning, but you chickened out and fled even though you behaved like a slut the night before. Hm, well that's totally normal," Joey mused audibly and I cringed when he mentioned the part about me being a slut.

I remember the horrified expression on my face when I saw my reflection in the mirror this morning, my whole neck and chest had red bites marks and lots of hickeys, I remember going red in embarrassment and making extra sure to wear a turtleneck to school today.

"It's normal?" I repeated after him hopefully.

"Yes, it is. This is your closet phase," Joey informed me and I blinked at him in confusion. "My what?"

"Your closet phase, dummy. You'll soon be out of it though. I'm going to be with you through every step of the way," Joey continued with a genuine smile lightening up his face, I didn't even know what it was that he was talking about.

"What's that? I don't even think we're still on the same page," I informed him while throwing a few more chips into my mouth. Joey wiggled around on the bed until we were only a few inches apart.

He laid a hand on my shoulder and stared deeply into my eyes before saying to me, "Best friend, you're in the closet phase because you're obviously denying the fact that you're gay."

"What?" I pushed his hand off my shoulder and wiggled a few inches away from him, staring at him with horror-filled eyes. I saw the hurt in his eyes spread to his face at my gesture and I slapped myself on the head before wiggling back to Joey and taking his hands in mine.

"I didn't mean it like that, Joey," I started to say. He nodded his head twice, but I could see he was still hurt. He probably thought I was repulsed at the thought of being called gay, which I was in a way, but Joey didn't need to know that yet.

"Bestie, I was just scared and nervous, heck, I still am. I didn't mean it like it was such a bad word, there's nothing wrong with being gay, you're gay and I love you like that. Jonas's gay and stupid me still made out with him knowing perfectly well that I shouldn't." I squeezed his bony fingers in mine and breathed out a relived smile on seeing a small smile tug at his lips.

"I'm sorry, alright?" I continued before shifting closer to him and pulling him into my arms, Joey being a slut when it comes to hug and cuddles wrapped his hands around my waist and squeezed tight, I patted his colorful hair, enduring his tight squeeze since I knew how much Joey enjoys hugs until I couldn't take it anymore and pulled away from him. He pouted and tried to pull me into another hug, but I scooted away from him immediately.

Joey rolled his eyes, finally returning back to his normal spot as he leaned towards where the snacks were and tugged the drinks forward, he offered me one which I gratefully popped open and downed satisfying mouthfuls before finally settling it on the floor beside the bed.

"So, as I was saying before you nervously interrupted, which is no doubt a sign of the closet phase..." Joey started to say but I cut him off. "No, Joey, you don't understand. I can't be gay and still be attracted to girls, can I? I seriously don't think this is about a closet phase. And besides, did I tell you about my being unable to call my girlfriend after what happened between my roommate and I?"

Joey shook his head slowly and I took in a deep breath. "I know that what I'm doing with Jonas is no doubt cheating, and I don't want to do that to her." I paused before continuing. "I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but I seriously don't want to hurt her. Knowing her, she's probably already overthinking the reasons why I haven't called her yet, which she clearly has every right to." 

I pushed my hair out of my face and fell into Joey's bed before sighing slowly. "I don't know what to do, Joey. That's why I actually wanted to talk to you. I need advice as fast as possible. I promised myself I was going to call her last night before I sleep, but that was before you-know-What happened between Jonas and I, after I got back into my room, I guess I was too tired to remember to give her a call..." I paused and glanced at Joey from my current position to find him watching me carefully from his Indian styled posture, his elbows placed on his folded legs while his painted nails rested against his cheeks.

"I remembered the promised call this morning right after I saw the hickeys on my neck, but..." I continued to say but Joey raised a finger, making me pause and glance at him.

"He gave you hickeys? Oh my gosh you didn't tell me before!" Joey gushed out immediately, a smile splitting across his face. I shook my head at him while scowling a little. "I probably forgot. That's not important anymore." I dismissed immediately but Joey shook his head and scooted towards me once again.

"Let me see them!" Joey informed me as he started to tug up my turtleneck top, but I halted his movements as I felt my face flood with embarrassment.

"Joey, is this necessary?" I demanded, knowing that there was no dissuading Joey when he sets his mind on something.

He nodded his head immediately while tugging my top up, I breathed out a sigh and allowed him to pull it completely off. He gasped once I was naked from the waist upwards and I rolled my eyes at him, knowing it wasn't that serious and that he was just being his normal, dramatic self.

"No wonder you wore this ugly turtleneck today. I knew something was up when you gave me a flimsy excuse about the cold weather, knowing perfectly well that you own a thousand hoodies which you can slay in while also protecting yourself from cold,” Joey mused loudly with a grin. I rolled my eyes and stretched my hand out in demand for my seized top, but Joey ignored me and kept on drinking in the said hickeys scattered across my neck.

"Damn, I didn't know you were this freaky, fuck, you should totally take a picture like this and keep it for future purposes," Joey continued but I shook my head immediately, "No, thanks." 

I ran my hand over my chest and glanced down, the angry red spot just beneath my belly button stopped me for a moment, I glanced at it and followed it upwards, the skin around my nipples and chest were filled with large and tiny angry looking hickeys and I flushed in embarrassment, I didn't know they were this worse.

I couldn't even see my neck, but I had a feeling it was going to look angrier than this. I only took a horrified glance at it this morning in the mirror without thoroughly examining it. I glanced up at Joey to find him snickering at me before he handed me my shirt which I shrugged back on immediately. 

"You didn't know they were that worse before, right?" Joey asked and I nodded my head in reply which made him chuckle before he returned back to his former position and gesturing for me to go on with what I was saying before.

"Where was I again?" I asked and he rolled his eyes before reminding me.

"Yeah, after I remembered this morning, I was feeling too guilty to call her, like I've done something really bad to her which she didn't deserve. She texted me on Snapchat and iMessage, but I couldn't even bring myself to check them. She called when we were done with Psychological Analysis since she knew my schedule, but I declined the calls until she stopped calling. I'm just so confused..." I trailed off and laid back on the bed, my arms beneath my head as I stared into the moving blades of the fan in the room.

"Hm, that's a lot you have on your mind, Andy... this is why I've always preferred hookups, you can have sex and explore all you want that way without having to feel guilty," Joey mused loudly and I scowled at him.

"You're not helping here." I paused. "And besides, I need to be connected to someone emotionally to be able to have anything sexual with the person."

"So you're saying you're in love with Jonas?" Joey asked and shook my head immediately while blinking at him, "What? No. I didn't mean I have to be in love with them. I just need to be a little emotionally connected to them at least, I honestly can't indulge in hookups like you."

He chuckled at me, totally proud of his ways, in his words, it wasn't easy indulging in hookups without falling in love, his words not mine. "Your loss, bestie,” he mused before sitting up once again.

"So, what are you going to do now?" He asked and I shrugged a little. "No idea, honestly."

"Well, what's on your mind?" He asked.

"I guess the make out session from last night, if I’m being honest," I replied with a groan, I didn't like the fact that all I could think about since I existed his room last night was about him, and only him.

"See? A slut." Joey snickered when I gave him the middle finger.

"Give me a reasonable advice, Jojo," I said to him after rolling onto my side until we were staring at each other.

"I'd say you should follow your heart, to be honest,” he replied and my hopeful expression morphed into a disappointed scowl. "But nothing's on my mind, absolutely nothing. It's blank like a fresh sheet." 

"That's the thing. You shouldn’t do anything for now until you finally think of something," Joey continued and I buried my head into his sheets. Yup, my best friend was exactly like me, dumb as fuck.

"Fuck off, Joey. You're totally useless right now," I groaned into the sheets, but he only chuckled while patting my head lightly.

"Andy bestie, you're going to be fine,” he reassured before I felt his hand move away from my head and I rolled back around until I was scowling up at him.

"Yeah, right," I scoffed.

******

I was really thankful when Joey agreed to drop me off, I alighted his car and waved goodbye at him as his car raced off. I watched his car longingly, yup, I still hated my parents, especially my dad.

I made my way into the elevator, and to my surprise, crossed paths with Aria. I've only ever seen her early in the morning. Too bad she was exiting the elevator just as I was making my way into it. We quickly waved at each other, and the doors slid shut on her bright smile. She was the last thing on my mind before Jonas managed to occupy the whole of my mind. I got out on our floor and made my way to the door. It was already past 8 p.m., so I didn't bother digging out my keys since I was sure Jonas was already home.

I knocked on the door and Jonas opened the door after confirming whom it was, I stepped inside the house and closed the door behind me before glancing up at him, his wavy curls fell across his face and neck, giving him a really yummy look, I couldn't find his piercing on his lips as my eyes ghosted over it. He was currently in a hoodie, a jersey shorts and black socks.

"Hi." I waved a little at him before flushing in embarrassment and withdrawing my raised hand immediately. There was something about Jonas that always made me do stupid, unreasonable things and end up flushing in embarrassment almost immediately. 

"Hey Andy,” he replied with a smile, and I felt my stomach flutter stupidly, which made my head lose a few cells. I forced myself to concentrate on what he was saying. "Huh?" I asked.

"I said I have two friends over. We're all playing a game together, but they'll be gone in an hour.”

"Oh. That's cool. I'll stay out of your hair," I informed him immediately, but he only chuckled and pushed my hair out of my hair. I swallowed and bit my lips to stop myself from gasping as his fingers slid over the skin on my forehead.

"I didn't mean you should stay out of our hair; it's your house too in case you forgot." I blinked a few times before what he said sank in.

"Oh," I replied before rushing to add, "I mean, of course, sure, yep."

Jonas chuckled while staring at me and I glanced away while internally slapping myself, I felt myself flush in embarrassment. 

In only a few minutes spent with Jonas, I could end up blushing beyond control every passing minute.

"I'll be in the living room," He said to me, and I nodded my head immediately before darting around him since he hasn't moved away, straight into my room. I fell face down into my bed with my bag still on my back the moment I got into my room. After a few minutes of me doing nothing but inhaling my familiar Dior perfume scent which has finally gotten on everything I make use of to my delight. 

I had gotten that particular brand of perfume a month ago because it has such an amazing smell and has been spraying it over my bedsheets, my pillowcases, my school bag, my whole clothes, expect white colored ones of course, my towels, socks, every piece of fabric I owned until the scent kind of stuck on everything about me. 

Now, my freshly laundered clothes still carried the scent around, which was exactly what I wanted from the start.

I pushed myself onto my feet and dumped my bag onto my desk before changing out of my clothes and settling by my desk to work on a few assignments which were due tomorrow. I was supposed to do it tonight and send a copy to Joey since he was too lazy and would totally fail school which would leave him no other choice but to turn into a stripper or a sex worker without my existence, his words, not mine.

I opened my workbook and glanced around for my MacBook to look up stuffs I could use to work before I remembered leaving it in Jonas's room again last night. I face palmed myself and slumped in my seat, feeling deflated.

I shot Jonas a quick text, asking him to please bring my MacBook once his friends left. After sending the text, I forced myself not to glance at any other messages before switching to my phone browser. Safari would have to do for now until whenever Jonas finished his game.

I lost myself in my research. I was writing details and taking screenshots of stuff I was going to be making use of when typing everything down later tonight.

I heard a knock on my door which made me jolt a little. Knowing it was Jonas, I called out for him to come in and he strolled in with my MacBook clutched under his armpit. He pushed the door shut and walked towards me. He glanced around with a look of irritation or awe. I wasn’t sure which it was. 

"Y'know, this is the first time I'm stepping into here since you moved in, this is the third week since you moved in, right?" He turned towards me at the end of his question, and I nodded my head in reply while tapping my pen against my desk lightly.

He took in what I was doing and widened his eyes before quickly rushing towards me and holding my MacBook out. I reached out and took it gratefully; it was so much easier doing research on a computer than a mobile phone.

"I'm so sorry I haven't returned it since the day you suggested we use it on Tuesday. I have a MacBook too, but y'know, I have so many games on it that I'm unable to watch movies, which actually sucks. But I guess I can live with it until I get another laptop because my games are worth it." He chuckled lightly to himself after explaining and I found myself chuckling along with him.

I opened the laptop and powered it up, I quickly created space for it on the desk and placed it down before glancing back at Jonas.

"So, will you be done soon?" Jonas asked and I shook my head slowly. I still had a lot of research to do before compiling everything and using it to create a topic. That alone was going to take me up to two hours.

"How about I wait for you here though?" He asked and I nodded my head immediately, really thankful that I had changed the sheets this morning. "Of course you can," I replied and watched as he flopped on the bed and hiked his sock covered legs on one of his knees, his phone in his hands in the next second.

"Why though?" I couldn't help but ask, I needed to know or risk myself not achieving anything reasonable concerning my assignment because my head would be completely unsettled and would just keep on drifting towards different probabilities "I wanna talk to you about something,” he replied without taking his eyes off his phone and I gnawed on my lips, glaring at him in frustration even though he couldn't see my face. How was that supposed to stop me from over thinking?