CHAPTER 46

Nandhini's POV

"Priya, get me the order list andddd..."

Uh-oh! Not Again!

"How many times I need to tell you to leave me alone, Sanjeev? Just go back to New York. I want to live peacefully. At least do that favour to me. And I need to prepare purchase list. So get out of my office. Now!"

I shouted at Jeev's face who was holding pained expression as I was not allowing him anywhere near me for the past two months. But he will come to meet me daily, if possible more than two times a day.

"I want to be a part of our child's life. Is that a big crime, Nandhini?"

He asked me softly while looking at my little three-month bump. His voice sounds sincere, but I can't find it in myself to forgive him for his betrayal.

For a man I trusted all my life, he lost his value when he teamed up with that witch. Even if he has done it all by himself, I might have convinced myself that he did it because of his obsession over me. But he killed my heart by teaming up with her. He lost his last chance of my forgiveness by doing it.

I might let him meet my child after his/her birth. I won't let my child grow up without father's love. I will ensure nothing will affect his/her growth. I don't want him/ her to grow up like as another Nandhini. I knew I am not a good person. But I can't just change myself. It's my kind of defence to survive this loveless world of mine.

With all my thoughts, I didn't notice him invading my personal space as he pulled me to a hug and the unexpected thing was, that rascal broke down into tears. Even though I hate him now, I felt myself shedding tears on seeing him vulnerable like this. He is the strongest man I have ever known in my life. He pulled away and kneeled down before me. Shakily his hand touched the sides of my stomach.

I flinched as this was emotionally too much for me. Experiencing his love for my child... our child.

"Hey baby, this is your dad. Don't worry about your mum's anger. I know my love towards both of you would bring us all together. And I won't let you grow alone. That's a promise, baby. Even if your mum pushes me away, I won't go away.

I don't know why she never realised my love towards her. And why I was so coward to express myself towards her. But I couldn't see her with another man. I want to be the sole reason for her happiness and sorrow. So I did something to make her be with me, but it hurt her badly. And you don't worry about it. Dad won't leave her till she too falls head over heel for me. Don't give a hard time for your mum and be a good baby. Okay? Love you very much, baby."

When he said the last sentence, I felt movement inside, and he gasped feeling the same. He looked up at me with teary eyes and a big grin "My baby understands me, Nandhini."

He whispered in awe. I just nodded as I am overwhelmed with these pregnancy hormones on seeing their conversation and his confession.

"I have lots of work, Sanjeev. Please leave."

He stood up and brought his hands to hold my face, but I backed away. He let out a defeated sigh.

"All I am asking is just a chance to prove myself to you, Nandhini. Please let me in. I am the only person knew how much you are currently hurting inside."

That flamed my anger. Even though he knew I would be broken, he broke me along with her. Then why should I give him a chance to break me again and again? My face hardened.

"LEAVE."

I spit out the word with all my hatred. He took a deep breath and went out of my office. Finally, he got some sense to leave me alone.

This first trimester was so hard, but my mother said it will get better in a few weeks. And she is helping me with my morning sickness, which is the worst thing. And I always feel hungry and also nausea at the same time. So my food intake was so irregular. And with these hormones, my anger was at a high peak as I would snap at my employees even for a small mistake. My mother noticed that and made it compulsory for me to do meditation daily. But all I felt was sleepiness, and it doesn't seem to be working for me.

I finished my work and Priya helped me to close the shop. I recently recruited her. She completed her master's in business administration. And she was such a silent and homely type. Exactly opposite of me. But she cared for everyone and made my works easier with her efficiency. And her best trait is, she is straightforward as I still remember she told her opinion of me being pregnant before marriage is wrong in her view. I don't know what I have been thinking about that time. I liked her boldness and appointed her as my assistant. She would be maintaining the boutique during my delivery. So I am training her. She won't speak much yet listen carefully and will finish the work before I remind her twice.

I entered the car where my mother was waiting for me. She just finished her shift in the hospital and came to pick me up. This is our usual routine now. And we became closer than before. She asked me about my day. I told her except Sanjeev part as she wants me to be with him. My father too wishes the same. They want me to lead a life what every woman does. But they don't see how hurt I am.

I asked her about her day but regretted asking it as soon as I realised whom she met today. That witch came to consult her. Even though I hate her, I was curious about her visit. I don't want her to be sick as I am the one to make her life hell; not some stupid sickness.

My mother's reply added fuel to my rage. But I kept a normal face and even faked my smile to show her that I was happy to know that they are starting their life.

So I am too easy to forget and move on.

Oh, Prabhu, you deserve better.

I need to do something. And I knew exactly what to do!

The bait is my grandpa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I masked a sad face whenever my grandpa was around. After observing me for a few days, he started my long-awaited conversation while I was sitting in the veranda and sipping the coffee while my parents went to the hospital. I asked Priya to take care of the boutique as I am not feeling well. It's just normal sickness. But I am so tired to go to work.

"What is wrong with you, dear? Why do you seem sad nowadays?"

He gently stroked my head and sat next to me. Great! It's not difficult to act as I did it all my life. I sighed dramatically and gave him a small smile.

"Nothing, grandpa. I am okay. Just a little tired."

I made it clear that I am lying with my hesitant expressions. He narrowed his eyes and looked at me.

"You can tell me anything ma. I don't want to see you like this."

He said with concern. I felt bad for using him like this. But I don't have any other option to make my plan work.

"It's about... Prabhu."

He raised his eyebrow suspiciously but nodded me to continue.

"I feel so guilty, grandpa. What if God punish my baby for my behaviour towards him? I'm so scared. I made him trust me and broke it. He might have gone through a very hard time. I was thinking about apologising him. Yesterday was his birthday. I wanted to wish him. Even though we are like different poles, he is a good friend to me, grandpa. But he won't even want to look at my face after what I have done to him. I can't let go of the guilt. It's killing me inside out, grandpa."

He bought my lie as he nodded his head in understanding. I internally smirked but kept a sad, guilty face.

"Don't stress yourself ma. You are changing. So forgive yourself. Then you won't feel guilty anymore."

He said thoughtfully.

"I understand what you are saying, grandpa. But how can I let go of the weight of this guilt? If only he gives me a chance to explain myself, I will beg his forgiveness. It's the only way to make me feel better. Even if he didn't forgive me, I would have the satisfaction of trying."

I broke into tears, but it came naturally with my heightened hormonal state. He patted my head and went without a word as I expected.

Later that afternoon, I found my grandpa making his way towards me with childlike enthusiasm. I was getting ready to go to my boutique as I feel so bored here. And I couldn't sleep either.

"Nandhini dear, Prabhu agreed to meet you after his office today."

He said as if he bought a kilo of mango. Hmm, I should get them on my way back. My mind alarmed me to process what he had just said. Prabhu! Did he agree? Really? I looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you... serious, grandpa? But? Really?"

I asked him shocked. This is what my desired outcome. But it happened so soon for my expectation. Thank God! At least you favoured me in this matter.

"Yes"

He said with a sigh that conveyed how much he convinced him to make this meeting happen. I quickly hugged him and thanked him over and over. He laughed a little and asked me to meet him in a coffee shop near his apartment. I agreed eagerly and went to work. I can't review my plan at home.

Prabhu's POV

Oh my vixen! Why you have to be so beautiful? I just want to rush back home and make love to my sexy darling all day. I love the fact that she didn't hesitate to express her needs for me. And I love it more to satisfy her needs for me.

I'm in a very dreamy mood as I easily let go of my team members for a few mistakes and also got scolded with a big smile from my manager. The reason is my wife. She is the reason for my happiness.

And I need to finish all my work and wanted to go home earlier. My vixen would be waiting for me. Oh my vixen! You have no idea how much I love you! It's not just because of sex. Though it's a great way to show my love to you. But I love you because the faith that you have on me to give yourself completely to me and for your heart allowing me to love you. And the way you do everything for me with the utmost care and dedication and your selfless care for our family, I should enslave my soul to you, vixen. And it should be a crime to be so beautiful, adorable and sexy. My sweet darling! 

I ghostly got food from the canteen and ate it without even concentrating what it is. I finished eating and went to my cabin. I called Janu to at least listen to her sweet voice. But she didn't answer. I knew she would be tired from our morning romance. My mind scolded me for being a little rough with her. But with all her teasing, my body was totally out of control. She didn't seem mind that anyway. Actually, the blissful expressions her face shown every time she got to release, ignited my fire to give her more pleasure. Damn! I can't get enough of her! Not in my whole lifetime!

I will do anything and everything to fulfil her dreams and to make her happy. Love you sooooo much, my dear vixen!

My thoughts interrupted by the office clerk who said that someone is here to meet me. I walked towards reception in confusion as I have no idea about who it would be. My vixen seems sleeping! Or she came here to surprise me?

But my excited expression turned sour when I saw the person whom I never wanted to see again. Even though he didn't hurt me directly, his granddaughter did enough damages. His face was full of regret and guilt. I didn't want to show my emotions to him. Let's keep it professional, Prabhu. Yeah! That's it.

"Sir, You wanted to meet me?

I spoke in a business tone.

"I can understand you, Prabhu. I heard that you got married to Janaki. She is the best woman. I wish I too had a granddaughter like her." 

He sighed and continued.

"Hope you are having a good life. I don't deserve to bless you. But I pray to God for your wellbeing."

"Thanks! But may I know the reason for this sudden meeting."

I don't want to listen to him. I respect him. But only if he maintained a certain distance and didn't interfere with my life to show how much a failure I am. I thought about Janu's smile to calm myself.

"I want to talk to you about... Nandhini. I knew you won't like to talk about her. But my granddaughter's life is more important to me. And she wants to apologise to you and also you both need closure to this issue. She had her reasons. I promise that you would understand everything once you talk to her. Please, for this old man give her a chance to apologise."

He said sincerely. As much as I hate to agree, his words were true. Even though I am happy with my Janu, I will think about her sometimes. Why she did it for me? I want to know the reason. This would be the best chance to know it.

"Okay, sir. Ask her to meet me at the coffee shop near my home. She knew the place and it's nearby her boutique too. Sharp 4.30 PM."

I saw him nod, and I walked back to my office with a nod. I don't want to judge her as her grandpa said that she had her reasons. Let's see what it is.

After a few minutes, I received a message from Nandhini stating 'Thank you for giving me a chance to explain things to you'. I didn't bother to reply to her. I concentrated on my work to finish it and to leave early. Akash will arrive tonight. So I don't have to bother about extra work from Monday onwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I drove to the coffee shop and made it there by 4.25 PM. There is no trace of her. I sighed and waited near my car with the company of Raja sir songs. I got a message from my vixen stating 'Hi my dear hot husband, I am going out to collect something that appa has sent with his friend. Don't worry. I will be back soon to see my sexy mama. Control your hormones and wait till then 😜😜😘😘'

I chuckled on reading her cute message and replied 'Sure darling, take care of that sexy ass of yours. Come back home safe and soon 😘😘😉😉'

But I didn't get any reply. Great!

After a few minutes, I saw Nandhini coming there in an auto. What happened to her car? None of my business!

I watched her smiling at me. I kept my face blank and approached her. Her appearance changed a bit. She is in a Chudidar, and her little baby bump is visible over her dress. How months she is? How didn't I notice any changes earlier?

While she was a few steps away from me, I saw her stepping on a stone. But before I could warn her, she started falling. Her one hand reflexively circled her stomach and another hand quickly hold the nearby car. Fortunately, she didn't fall, but her hand started bleeding from the contact with a piece of iron sticking there in the car. I asked her to follow me as it seems deep cut. And my heart was racing. She is pregnant for god sake, and she is too careless.

I found that I was running low in supply of cotton and bandage. I helped her to wash her bleeding hand and gave the available cotton to her to hold it tight against the cut. She refused to go to the hospital with me, saying she would nurse the wound after reaching home. So I asked her to come home.

Janu won't mind after knowing it's an emergency and I am not going to hide our meeting to her. I want to be an open book in our relationship. So I didn't worry about taking her home. At first, she denied but eventually agreed.

I thought my darling would be home by the time I reached, but I found it empty to my disappointment. I asked her to sit in the living room and fetched the first aid kit and helped to wrap her hand with the bandage. She thanked me. I made coffee for us, and she was silent the whole time except few single-word replies. I noticed she was just wearing a small silver chain. Didn't she get married to Sanjeev yet?

"I knew you wanted answers and that's why you agreed to meet me, Prabhu."

She interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes, that's right... Why...?"

I wanted to ask her many questions, but I couldn't form any as the events of my wedding and our times together flooded to my mind.

"First I want to apologise for hurting you. Let me clear one thing. As you noticed, I didn't marry Sanjeev. He used to be my best friend but not after what he did to me. This little bundle of happiness is the only good thing I got from his foolishness."

Her words were like a puzzle to me. I couldn't understand anything. So I voiced out my thoughts. 

" I really don't understand what you are saying, Nandhini "

She gave a sad smile with a sigh.

" I didn't cheat on you, Prabhu. I didn't know I was pregnant until a day before marriage. But I was so confused and afraid to tell anyone. I know you would think about how it was possible. Sanjeev planned to get me pregnant to stop the marriage. Because he was a fucking coward to let me know his feelings. And chose this stupid way to stop the wedding. That's all I could tell because I didn't want to create a rift between your family "

I was shocked. So she didn't betray me. That bastard did this to her. Yet she could have told me as soon as she comes to know about her baby.

Wait! What does she mean that she didn't want to create a rift between my family?

"I'm really sorry, Nandhini. But what do you mean by the rift between my family?"

I asked curiously. She looked as if a deer caught on the light.

"Never mind. That's nothing."

No! No! You can't just leave it like that.

"I insist. Tell me everything!"

She looked unsure, and her face shown internal battle within herself. I nodded encouragingly. She closed her eyes and blurted out "I don't know whether you would believe me. But the truth is..."

She let out a deep sigh.

"Your wife is an equal reason for my current state."

She looked at my face for my reaction. But I really don't know how to react. What does it mean? How Janu is the reason for her current state? I won't let her blame my wife.

"How?"

I asked without any emotions. She looked at me calculatively but answered anyway.

"Do you remember the party night you left me? That's the day, Sanjeev spiked my drink and did as he planned. Sanjeev recently told me that Janaki and Vidhya actually caught him with me in a compromising position, but instead of stopping it, they left the venue taking you along with them. Maybe they would have thought I am willingly doing it. But I couldn't remember anything from that night. But I do remember Janaki voluntarily speaking with me the day before the wedding. I thought she wanted to be friends with me.

But I was wrong. She hates me since the day I could remember from my childhood. And she helped Sanjeev with his plans and broke our wedding. But poor Janu, she might not be expected things would turn against her to marry you. I am not saying it's a bad thing. You are the type of man every woman would dream of having in her life. But I never expected the thing to go this way either. I can't imagine Janaki would do such horrible things. I can't trust myself. But it broke me more when Janaki nodded when Sanjeev thanked her for helping him get what he wants before taking me out of the wedding venue. That's when I knew Janu involved in this. I can't believe she would do this knowing it would break your heart too. At least they could have mentioned it earlier, so we both would have avoided that heartbreak on the wedding day and saved our family from humiliations."

She was sobbing heavily. I was stunned by her revelation. Janu would never do such thing, right?

I knew she doesn't have a good relationship with Nandhini, but...

And she never stated the reason for dragging me out of that party. If both Vidhu and Janu have seen Nandhini and Sanjeev, why didn't they stop the wedding immediately? How did they allow it to go that far? If Sanjeev didn't stop the wedding, I would have compromised that this is my baby, and my whole life would have been filled with lies.

Why Janu didn't tell me anything about it? Even my sister didn't tell me anything? Why?

Wait, Prabhu. Don't trust everything she says! What if this is all just a story to bring sympathy for her? But she is not with Sanjeev now. So she was indeed impregnated while she was not conscious. Then, she didn't betray me. All our days together were not just acting.

"Why didn't you give police complaint on Sanjeev? That scoundrel deserves to rot in jail."

I asked her to clear my last bit of suspicion through gritted teeth. I couldn't come to a conclusion regarding Janu part of her revelation.

"You knew about my childhood. He was the only one there for me all my childhood. I can't see his parents in sorrow. He made a promise to be a good friend all my life. Just like you promised me to be a good friend all my life rather than a husband when I opened up about my childhood. But no friends of mine understood my situation. One brought misery to my life while other one doesn't have enough trust to see the truth past all these lies."

She said bitterly with tears. I looked away in shame on remembering my promise for her.

"Above all, he is the father of my baby. I don't want my baby to grow up like me. I want her/him to get love from him/her parents even if they are not together."

Her words sliced my heart. She is always too good. She isn't thinking her child as a burden but seeing it as an innocent soul and wants to live past her messed up life for her child. I thought I had gone through so much. But she is too strong to went through this all and staying as a single piece in front of me. Her best friend's betrayal. Her fiancé’s distrust. The parents to whom their profession comes before their own daughter.

I handed her my kerchief as her tears were flowing non-stop. She took it with a small smile and muttered 'Sorry, pregnancy hormones.' I just nodded with guilt as I am a part of the reason for her messed up life.

I excused myself and went to my room. I took my phone to clear this confusion now. I dialled Vidhu to know actually why they asked me to leave the party.

"Hey Anna! What a surprise! Do you even have time to talk to me? Where is my Anni?"

She teased me. That didn't draw my attention as I realised how she mentioned Janu. This is the first time Vidhu calling her Anni. And it sounds too good, and my heart fluttered for my vixen. [Anni is a Tamil word imply the meaning of sister-in-law]

Stupid Prabhu! Don't go into your dreamworld! Ask her the reason for their behaviour at that party.

"I want to talk to you about something. And I want the truth. Do you understand, Vidhya?"

I used her full name in a serious tone to let her knew I don't have time for playing.

"Umm... Okay... Sure, Anna."

She said with caution. Good!

"What happened in that party? Why you two dragged me out of there? I want to know the reason Now."

I said in a strict tone as I knew it would work on her.

"Wha-at are you talking about, Anna?"

I knew she was clearly avoiding to answer "You knew exactly what I am talking about. Tell me what happened there."

I said in no denial tone "Why do you want to know it now? Why can't you ask Janu directly? She would tell you."

She said in an unsure tone, making my anger rise. Why can't she just tell me?

"I asked you, Vidhya. Answer me now. I will ask her if I want to."

I said with my last string of patience. I don't want to shout at her to get answers, but she isn't understanding.

"Okay. Don't get mad. Listen till the end patiently. We saw Nandhini with Sanjeev... in the restroom.. umm.. in an awkward position. You were head over hell for her that time. So Janu didn't want to break your heart by letting you see that horrible scene. And we decided to tell it to our parents to stop your wedding. But the very next day that bit... Nandhini turned the plates by putting a big drama. So we couldn't get a chance to talk about it to our parents. And even you all saw Janu as if she committed a blunder and avoided her like the plague till she apologised for no reason.

She endured everything for our family even suffered the humiliation for her self-respect to keep the family together and kept her mouth shut unwillingly after seeing your priority was Nandhini rather than our family in more than one situations. Please, Anna. Don't dwell in your past. I am so happy for you when I knew you two were getting along. Don't bring this up and spoil both of your future. I won't mind to punch you if you do something to hurt her. Don't forget that."

My brain was overloaded with lots of information in a day. I bid bye to Vidhu and went to the living room. I couldn't conclude anything. If Janu has informed me earlier, things would have changed entirely. She did what she seems correct for her in that situation. But an innocent woman's life got spoiled by that decision. It's my mistake. I was her fiancé, I should have ensured her safety that night. I am the reason for her helpless state today. But I am living happily with my Janu. How could I fix Nandhini's life? Oh God! I ruined a woman's life. How will I wash this sin from my hands?

I found her still crying on the sofa. She stood up and turned around with a nod and walked to the door. I don't know what to do. The pressure of guilt is ripping my heart into two. I managed to speak to her when she opened the door.

"Please, Nandhini forgive me. If I hadn't left you that night, your life wouldn't have changed like this."

My traitor eyes started spilling tears. She seems a little angry now.

"Don't! If we hadn't meet now, you would have blamed me forever. For a friend who promised me to stay my side in my hard times, I was so happy to know your level of trust on me. And don't worry. At least you are having a happy life now. I want to ask you a favour. Ask your wife why she didn't bother to break your heart when there was a lot of ways to stop that marriage at the beginning itself? Why she teamed up with Sanjeev to spoil my life? I just want answers from her. I hoped she would be here and I could get my answers. But when did God favoured me? So just do that favour. At least let me know the reason why my life is like this."

She said with rage and sarcasm that I couldn't bear as her every word pierced my heart. But she was sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know how to console her. I pulled her to a hug to give the least comfort I could give as a friend. But my heart pained to knew I am the reason for all her misery and I broke there.

"I failed you as a friend, Nandhini. I shouldn't have left you that night. I should have ensured your safety that night. I'm so sorry Nandhini. It's a big mistake. I shouldn't have committed that mistake. I shouldn't have let all these things happen. I made a promise to you. But I broke it, Nandhini. I broke it. Please forgive me. Please forgive me, Nandhini. I apologise on behalf of Janu. I don't know whether she would be a part of all these things. Nonetheless, I want to apologise for her. Her family comes before anything to her. Maybe that's why she did it with the thought of saving me from you. Please forgive us, Nandhini. Forgive Sanjeev and accept him. He might have chosen a wrong path to get you, but his ultimate intention is to get you back. He loves you. I saw that in his eyes on the wedding day. I didn't know why I didn't notice it earlier. Above all, as you said your child didn't do anything wrong. The baby deserves both of its parents love. Let him in and let him mend your broken heart. As a friend, I am telling you. Please don't punish yourself. You deserve a happy life."

I pulled away as I realised she wasn't saying anything. She looked at me with pained expression but nodded her head.

"I forgive you, Prabhu. It's not totally your fault. But I can't forgive them yet. I don't find it in my heart to forgive them. I'm also just a human. I need time. Don't get into argument with your wife. I'm your past. Let it be in past. Just forget everything I said and live your life happily. It's getting late. Goodbye."

I am out of words. I need to do something to bring them together. Seeing Nandhini leading a happy life is the only way to lift the guilt in my heart. I offered to drop her at home. But she had already booked a cab when I was inside my room, and the cab was waiting downstairs. I walked her to the cab and bid bye to her.

I sat on the sofa, processing the huge amount of information dropped on me today. When will you come home, Janu? We need to talk a lot. But before that, I want to hug you and cry out my heart. Please come home soon, darling. I want you.

My eyes fluttered open on hearing my ringtone. I rubbed my eyes and rushed to take my mobile. I cursed myself for sleeping two hours straight like a log on noticing the time on my mobile screen. But the bad news is I had seventeen missed calls from Akash. I looked around and couldn't find any traces of my wife. I decided to call back Akash before checking our room. I sleepily said 'hello' to him. But he shouted aloud to make my ear-ache.

"Throw your bloody hello in the dustbin and bring that lazy ass of yours to Kauvery hospital in five minutes. Else, I will come and drag you here."

He said angrily and disconnected the call before I could ask anything. My sleepiness flew out of the window after hearing the word hospital. What happened to whom? Argh! Idiot! Can't he at least tell me some details? Janu? God! Please keep my Janu safe. No! Nothing would have happened to her! Few tears escaped my eyes but quickly wiped them and calmed myself telling nothing would be wrong with her. I threw some dress and rushed to the hospital.