CHAPTER 36

Prabhu's POV

Even after 30 minutes of a cold shower, I am still standing in front of my bathroom mirror, cursing and face-palming myself for the 'stunt' I pulled earlier. ARGH! Even though I am cursing myself, a big grin is still plastered on my face, and my heart is thumping in an erratic rate.

God! That woman!

(Sigh)

The memory of her scent is still making my senses go crazy. It's been a while since we hugged each other. Her body is so soft, lovely and delicate. I wasn't aware of her effect on me till then. Now I know! And I should certainly keep up some decent distance away from her. Otherwise, I would end up doing something which might hurt her. I was so happy, and that happiness blinded all my senses. Yesterday she had worried about passing but got 'God damn rank'. And it's not easy to get rank in CA exams.

The big mistake is my hold loosened after realizing our parent's presence and to maintain the balance, I had to press her onto me, more likely hugged her. I thought she would push me and run away, but surprisingly she leaned on my shoulder in embarrassment. If we had been in isolation, I would have blissfully held her for hours. But the current situation is totally different, and from the look given by our parents, they seemed to misunderstand our relationship. Not now! Before they start anything which would make her more uncomfortable, I asked her to move away. We are still living like roommates. But it already looked like we are now living as couples by the 'PDA show' we pulled.

What am I going to do?

I heard someone knocking on my bathroom door. I quickly wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door.

"Athai called you for lunch."

Janu told me, standing a few steps away from me and showing her back to me. She turned around to look at me as I didn't give her any reply. She looked annoyed. What happened?

But her eyes widened on looking at my bare self and turned around quickly, but her small smile and her pink cheeks didn't go unnoticed. I smiled inwardly and quickly tossed a t-shirt to ease her uncomfortable stance.

"When did they come? Why didn't you tell they are here?"

"I didn't know they are coming. And before I could tell you about them, you disconnected the call and your mobile was switched off."

 Damn! I switched on my mobile and glanced at her who is now looking at me. I smiled at her, but she looked away. I frowned. Something is definitely wrong.

"Janu, are you okay?"

 She didn't reply nor look at me. I slowly walked towards her and turned her to face me. Tears are rolling down her cheeks. I cupped her face and wiped them with my thumb and tilted her chin to make her look at my eyes.

Did our parents tell her anything?

Why is she crying on this happy day?

"What happened Janu?"

 She pressed my hands against her cheeks for a few seconds and removed my hands from her cheek and held them tightly with her hands. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

"I know mama, it's been just two weeks since we got married and I know you need some time to clear everything..." 

 She paused and looked at my eyes, and I inhaled a sharp breath as I understood where this conversation is going. She continued.

"I just want answers for my few questions mama. We can discuss everything slowly but I need to know a few things, so I could make decisions accordingly for my studies."

 I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded.

"I know you just see me as your cousin and.. and nothing else. Do you think you could move on or not? If you are not sure about that, tell me whether our relationship, I mean, whether our marriage is going to be a long-term one... or-r are you planning for div... umm.. something else? I will agree and respect your decisions mama. Please, answer me, mama."

 I let out a sigh. My mind re-lived from the minute I met Nandhini at temple till I broke down at her betrayal and then Janu, her tears while I tied thaali around her neck, her heartbroken face after her mom's slap, her no-complaint days in this apartment.

What do I really want?

How can I answer her? But I shouldn't let her insecurities increase.

Man up, Prabhu!

How can she think about 'divorce'? We married for the happiness of our family, then how would I break them by divorcing her. But If I keep on postponing about this talk, she might think even worse. I should give some confidence to her, and to myself, to make this marriage work.

Can I leave the past and start a new life? I had to. There is no closure for my past. Sometimes I had been thinking to call Nandhini and ask her the only question ringing in my head since the wedding. 'WHY?' Maybe it will help me to move on. But I am still furious for what she did to me. So that is the last option.

I have to decide. I have to answer her. She is unnecessarily suffering from this problem.

"I don't have intentions to break this marriage ma. But I need time to move on from my past. After that, I could think about our life clearly. Things got changed so quickly. And I need time to fix everything. And sorry for ruining your life. But remember, I will always support your dreams, Janu."

"Hey don't tell you ruined my life, mama. You are allowing me to pursue my dream. That's all matters to me. To be frank, I didn't mind marrying you at all. Anyhow I will get married one day, now that happened soon... with you. I never had any dreams about my marriage. Don't get worked up. And never think you ruined my life. I will not lie about me having few insecurities, but we will find some solution for everything together. Okay?"

My heart skipped a beat on hearing her opinion about marrying me. I nodded in reply. She smiled at me. I slowly kissed her forehead reassuringly. She looked surprised but left the room after reminding me to join them for lunch. I quickly got dressed and joined them.

Later that evening, Akash came home and surprised to see our parent. But that rascal charmed my amma and athai by giving them flowers, which he originally bought for Janu and Vidhu to congratulate them. He stayed till dinner with us and rushed home to pacify his scolding mom, as he forgot to tell her about his visit here.

Our parents got into silent mode after getting aware of our sleeping arrangements. For them, it is FIFTEEEEEN damn days, But for me, it's just two weeks. Janu spent some quality time with her parents to catch up for those past two weeks, and I am very happy and relieved about it.

When I am at the living room, late at night to finish some pending works, Vidhu came to speak with me.

"You two can't live like this forever, Anna."

 She said without any emotions.

"Actually, we can."

 I replied teasingly. She smacked my head irritatingly.

"I'm seriously speaking anna."

"I know ma."

"Then, how long you are going to take? See already the smile on our parents face vanished on knowing ... You know... At least you two could have acted like living in the same room as they showed in movies."

 I kept my laptop aside and pulled her hand to sit near me.

"You should be the one to convince them to accept the truth, Vidhu. We don't want to give them any false hope. Even if we have acted as you said, they will start asking for 'the good news' after a few months. I hope you understand that. I'm already guilty of ruining her life. I didn't want to be a hindrance for her career too. And I too need some time to move on from what happened. They could easily swap the bride, but my heart needs some time ma. It's wrong to live with her, while I am still revolving around my past."

 She nodded her head in understanding. I smiled and told her to take rest. She had been so happy all day. And I am so proud of her results. She got quite a good result.

I finished my remaining work and retired to my room to get some sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janu was sitting on a rock in the green grass landscape, looking at the water running in the river before her. I walked towards her and stood next to her. She looked up to me with a beautiful smile, which gets reflected on my face. I sat next to her. She leaned on my shoulder, locking her hands around my bicep without wasting any time. We were sitting like that for a few minutes. Then she stood up and started walking away. I started following her in confusion.

I caught her by the wrist and pulled her towards me. She snaked her hands around my waist without any complaint and rested her head over my chest. After a few seconds, she shyly looked up at me with her bubbly pinky cheeks. My grin grew bigger, and I had the sudden urge to touch her blushing cheeks. And I did. It only made her blush deeper. I slowly kissed her blushy cheeks, and she looks straight into my eyes expectantly and runs her tongue over her cute pink lips. I take it as an invitation and lean forward to closed the torturous distance between us.

I pause just a few millimetres away from her lips and look at her eyes. She narrows her eyes and holds my hair tightly and closes the distance by pushing me towards her. Right at this moment, my lips touch hers. I can hear my own erratic heartbeat. I follow her lead and move my lips and try to memorize her lovely lips by tracing them with mine. Her soft, plump lips were very slowly nibbling mine, making me crave more.

I cup the back of her neck and tilt her head to deepen the kiss. She smiles against my lips and bites my lower lip teasingly. I hum in response and pull away to fill up my poor lungs with few breaths. We both have a big grin on our faces, and I rub my nose against hers. I pull away and look at her flushed face and swollen lips. My feelings get tangled together, and I run my thumb across her swollen bottom lip before catching it with my lips. We are again getting lost in the kiss. 

I quickly sat up straight on the bed and found Janu startled, looking at me in confusion, standing next to my bed. I think she was here to wake me up. My eyes automatically focused on her lips. The same lips, I was kissing a few seconds before... still so fresh and very inviting... Her lips curved into a smile on my shameless staring. I looked up at her eyes. She had that same shy look, and her cheeks are painted a darker pink shade every passing second. Yet she didn't avert her gaze. I just want to pull her and kiss her sweet lips.

God!

What the hell I am thinking!

Please help me!

I'm losing my mind!

She is still looking at my eyes with the blush, and it had a mischievous glint on it. She took a step forward and kept her one knee on the bed and leaned towards me, making me froze in shock. She slowly leaned forward, eyeing me cautiously. I sat still and closed my eyes as she covered the distance. I waited for the heavenly thing to happen again.

But...

she blew a mouthful of air into my ear. My eyes fluttered open. A wave of goosebumps spread across my skin all over the body.

God! This crazily stupid woman!

She already went near the door, and she turned around giggling, stuck her tongue out and ran out of the room.

I need a very cold shower NOW! Ufff!

My mood is a little grumpy all day as I am very frustrated. Yes, it's me who asked her time to take thing slow. And it's also the same me who wants to kiss her intensely.

Why the hell I dreamt of kissing her?

But I won't blame the dream. It's one of the best dreams I have ever had.

Our parents are leaving today afternoon. I had to go office as I already took more off recently for my wedding. Janu tried to convince Vidhu to stay, but she denied telling that she doesn't want to be a third wheel. Janu got disappointed, but she covered it with a fake smile. We didn't ask athai or amma to stay because we knew they were like love birds, and they never stayed a day away from their husband from my knowledge.

Akash noticed my strange mood and tried to talk to me many times, but I avoided him with lame reasons because he won't leave me without knowing the reason and I didn't want to get embarrassed. Yet he cornered me during lunchtime.

"Prabhu, you seem not well." 

 I knew he won't take no as an answer. So I used the common trick.

"Nothing big, Machan. A little headache."

 He raised an eyebrow with a knowing look.

"Oh! Really?"

ARGH! This idiot!

"Leave me alone, Akash." 

 I pleaded him defeated.

"No way! What's bothering you, Machan? You have been barking at everyone, even for small reasons."

"Fine, listen. You are offered with an apple and you politely refused the offer. Later you dreamt of eating it which leads you to crave for that. But you can't get it anytime sooner as you refused it earlier. And that's why I'm like this." 

 He blinked a few times.

"Janu would have given you a feast, if you had asked, why are you craving for a simple apple?" 

 He asked me with a confused expression. But if he only knew how his reply could be related to my original issue. 

No! Stop you, dirty mind!

Oh my God! I need some distraction. This is not at all good!

I closed my eyes to calm myself and smiled at him.

"You are genius, Akash." 

 I said sarcastically, but he raised his collar proudly making me laugh. He walked a few steps and turned around "But Prabhu, this is the first time you spoke to me about things like this. So I really wanted to help you. As you said, there is a low possibility for you to get any relief sooner. You better try a cold shower and ice packs. There is also some other solution, but I think you'd not prefer that."

He replied smugly with his signature smirk. My eyes widened at his reply. He smiled at me and walked away. God! I couldn't feel more embarrassed.

 I tried to behave normally for the rest of the day at the office.

It's going to be awkward as there would be just two of us tonight at home.