Chapter 54 54: The Savage Love

Chapter 54 54: The Savage Love
\[ R Y D E R \]

I never ran so fast in my life.

The night air was cold, but everything inside of me was burning like a fire. I shove past everyone in the street as I made my way back to the hospital. And when I finally got to her room at, I saw that Kara was alone, just sitting on her bed.

This was it, the moment of truth.

"Hey," I breathed, still panting from all the running.

She looked up at me and she smiled. There was something about that smile. Her smile held meaning.

"Hi," she said.

I relaxed my breathing and leaned against the doorway, trying to look as confident as I could. I wondered if she could tell I was dying on the inside.

"So, is the comma sign gonna be our way of saying booty call now?" I teased and she rolled her eyes.

I strode inside and closed the door behind me. Normally this would get a reaction from her, but this time she was just stoic.

I wanted to look into her eyes, but she was avoiding eye contact. And at that moment I knew... She was going to say no.

Suddenly I was having trouble breathing.

"Ry, about the proposal..." she started, but I quickly went up to her and put a finger on her lips, shutting her up.

"Leave it for now," I said.

I sat down next to her and she scooted over, making some room. Being this close to her again made my body stiffen.

I've been dying to see her... and to hold her. Literally.

So without warning, I swung my arms open and reached for her head to lean against my chest. I figured she'd protest if she didn't want to. Thankfully she didn't.

Slowly, I trailed her little face with my fingers, her jawline, her chin, her lips— and then she looked up at me.

"Ry..."

"Ssh," I insisted.

"I think I can give you an answer now," she said, rather sternly.

Your eyes had said it, loud and clear.

"No, I don't need an answer right now," I said.

"But—"

"It's okay. I just wanna enjoy this moment for a while, alright?" I paused for a second before saying, "I don't need to have forever right now. I just need today,"

I didn't have it in me to fight her anymore. I was at my wit's end. Either she was in or she was out. It was all up to her, and I wanted her to make that decision on her own. Whatever that may be.

Dear K, I'm not gonna hold your answer against you, but just give me a second right now.

She gave me a puzzled look, but I just smiled at her.

Finally, she nodded and laid her head on my chest. I wondered if she could hear how my heart was beating for her as I pulled her tighter against me. Her head moved with every rise and fall of my chest.

This feels like home.

And out of the blue, suddenly her hand reached out to touch my arm. I flinched immediately at the contact. Her fingers gently caressed the tattoo on my arm—her name. My skin felt as if it was on fire under her every touch.

I looked at her, and she was looking right back at me.

I realized now that there were moments in life where words became so meaningless. To think of anything else, to say anything, or to do anything at this moment would just be plain wrong.

There were moments in life that marked your life. Moments that were just downright perfect. This was one of those moments.

After this was over and she gave me her answer, nothing would be the same again. So if I may, I just wanted to live in this moment, just for a little bit.



That night, we fell asleep in each other's arms. Our bodies were perfectly molding into one another. I hadn't slept that well in months.

When I opened my eyes next, I was expecting to see her face in front of mine, but no. She wasn't there. She wasn’t on the bed and she wasn’t in the room.

Fuck. Doesn't this feel familiar?

I jolted up from the bed, running to the bathroom to check if she was there, but she wasn't. I looked out the door and searched the hallways, but she wasn't anywhere around.

Shit.

Running down the corridor, I passed by a large window—and there I saw her. She was outside in the hospital garden, sitting on the bench with fucking Cole. He was giving her a brown bag and she gave him a hug.

Talk about a rude awakening.

Air had escaped my lungs. I raked my hair briskly and turned away, not wanting to see any more of that.

Fuck my life.



\[ K A R A \]

I walked back to my room, expecting to see Ryder there on the bed, but he wasn't. I literally just went down for five minutes and he just disappeared. His phone was still on the bedside table, so he must be around here somewhere.

Where did that mudderfudder go to now?

I scaled the halls and corridors, I even went all the way down to the coffee shop and the cafeteria, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. And then, in the corner of my eyes, I saw the emergency staircase sign at the end of the hall.

I wonder...

Mind you, I just got out of surgery days ago. I was still feeling weak, and I had to climb all those stairs, I thought I was going to pass out.

But once I opened the door, I found myself on the rooftop of the hospital. I could see the open skies above me, New York City right below me, and Ryder... standing right in front of me.

He had his back turned to me, but once he heard the noise of the door being opened, he turned around. He looked shocked to see me. And his eyes were... glassy.

"Ry?" I breathed. "What are you doing here?"

He swallowed hard and gave me a weak smile.

"Avoiding you," he stifled a laugh. "Postponing to hear your answer for as long as I could,"

"Ry—" I was going to say something but he stopped me.

"It's okay, I'm ready now," he gave me a slight nod and stared at me with brooding eyes.

I never saw him like this before. He looked so... defeated.

"Hey..." I took a step closer, but he moved one step back.

"I know what you're gonna say, it's alright, just say it, I can take it," he said under his breath.

I cocked my head to the side and narrowed my eyes at him.

"You're not gonna argue with me some more? That's very unlike you,"

"I'm done, Kara. This is as far as I could go,"

"Really? I was expecting you'd put up more of a fight. I even prepared some more arguments just in case... like about your horrible timing, or what are we gonna do about jobs? Or money? If you're gonna stay here or do I have to move to Hawaii?"

"I don't know, Kara. Honestly, I don't have all the answers," he paused, taking a deep breath and raking his hair in frustration.

"I'm not gonna give you empty promises. I'm not gonna say I'm the best man for you out there, because we both know I'm not. I'm not perfect. I do stupid things. I hurt you. I pushed you over the edge. And if we do get married, we'll probably argue a lot... Probably have great sex after that too," he smiled bitterly.

Ah, there he is, the Ryder we all know and love.

"So that's it then? That's your best argument?" I asked.

"I just want you to see me for what I am. I'm just a man who's just as lost and as scared as you. Just a man who's in love with this girl, and hoping to god she'll meet him halfway,"

I watched him intently. I wanted to search his eyes, but he could barely keep his gaze on me.

"You know, last night I had a chat with Cole. He always stopped by here before and after work," Ryder flinched at the mention of Cole's name. He sighed and looked away.

"Anyway, I told him about you asking me to marry you. I told him I've said no, and I was thinking of saying no again. But then he told me... when you were here last year, you got a ring, and you were going to propose then too. But then he talked some sense into you and you decided not to. You know, if you had done it last year, I probably would have said yes,"

He was still looking away, and he furrowed his eyebrows as if he was in pain.

"So then I asked Cole to get something for me. Because at that moment, I finally got the answer I was looking for,"

My lips twitched into a smile and I took one small step closer to him.

"My brain really wants me to say no. But..."

I took another step forward.

"Who am I kidding?" I laughed and opened the brown bag in my hand. I took out a cup of milkshake and handed the cup over to him.

He didn't move an inch. He just looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"It's my answer," I told him.



\[ R Y D E R \]

I zeroed in at the cup in her hand.

What the fuck does that mean?

Her eyes motioned for me to take the cup, so I finally took it. And then I saw there was a yellow post-it note stuck on the side. I peeled it and saw the word:

Yes.

For a second there, I swore my heart had stopped beating.

It was just a simple word. Three letters. But my eyes had to go over it several times before I could finally read and understood what it meant. My hands and knees were literally shaking. My jaw fell open.

"I could have just said it... but knowing you, I wanted it to be more dramatic," she smirked.

There were so many things I wanted to say or do, but for the first time in my life, my brain just went blank and I couldn't move or speak. So I just stared at her like a motherfucking idiot.

As if she knew what was going on, she took another step closer to me, closing the distance between us. She linked her arms around my neck and she stood on her tiptoe to plant a short sweet kiss on my lips. When she pulled away, I saw that her eyes glimmered as she looked at me.

That finally did it.

Like a collision, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her upwards as my lips crashed down unto hers. We dropped everything that was in our hands, the brown bag in her hand, and the milkshake that was in mine. I could hear the milk pouring out as we deepened our kiss.

I'm sorry but I couldn’t care less about anything else right now. The girl of my dreams just said yes to me!

My hands gripped her head and lower back tightly as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, her nails digging into my shirt. I pulled her even closer to me, even though there was no more space between us.

We were both hungry for each other. It felt like two people meeting after a lifetime of being separated. It felt like two people touching after never being able to touch before.

Her lips tasted sweet, like vanilla ice cream. She rolled the tip of her tongue on my lower lip and I let out a desperate groan. I delved my tongue through her parted lips, tasting every inch of her, and I felt her squirming against my chest because of it.

I could try to describe how I was feeling at this moment, but no words would ever do it justice.

Finally, we pulled away as we were both all out of breath. She was still smiling, and a tear trickled down her face. A happy tear. My lips instinctively went to her cheek, kissing the tear away, and her cheeks blushed rosy pink.

I laced her hand in mine, while my other hand went to grab the ring from my jeans pocket. My hands were shaking as I slipped the ring on her dainty finger. My chest was rising up and down, my breathing ragged. I just couldn't believe my luck.

"Ry, are you okay?" she asked.

Goddamn, she must think you're having a panic attack right now. Get a fucking grip.

"No—yeah. I'm just really happy, this is so... unreal," I couldn't contain my smile as I cupped her cheeks and pressed my forehead against hers.

"I am one lucky mudderfudder,"



\[ K A R A \]

The ring rested beautifully on my finger. It fitted perfectly. This ring meant a lot for Ryder and I felt so honored to wear it. He said he was lucky, but I felt luckier.

"I love you," I said to him, because that was the only thing I could say at this moment. If there were better words to say, I would have picked it.

"I love you," he responded.

He closed his eyes for a long time, as if he was thinking of something so profound. And when he finally opened his eyes, they were watery.

"I really thought you were gonna say no," he smiled, holding back his tears.

How could I possibly say no to him?

"Ryder, I have said yes to you ever since that summer four years ago. Against every inch of fiber in my being that told me not to, I've said yes to you. I said yes to you again a year ago when you asked me to run away with you. And today I'd say yes. And tomorrow or ten years from now, I'd still say yes. Because no matter what, no matter when, no matter how… in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, it would always be you and it would always be yes,"

Using both hands, I pulled him close to me and we collided again, like two planets in the system of a dying star. I embraced him with everything I got, letting all the rules of my heart, the hollow opinions of my brain, and the so-called common sense crash down all around me.

What stood against us was never anything else but ourselves. He thought he was doing the right thing by leaving and I thought I did the right thing by running away. Even though we both ran in different directions, somehow we made our way back here.

Right where we belong.

When we finally pulled away, I let my hand rest on the side of his face, my thumb gently stroking his cheek. Ryder didn't say anything, his breath was caught in his throat. He just stared at me as if I was something to marvel at, causing me to look down and blush.

"Sorry it took me a while. I know I'm slow, but I'm here, at the halfway mark," I said under my breath.

His hand quickly reached out to me, tucking a strand of hair away behind my ear. He tilted my face up to meet his, and his deep blue eyes were shining like never before.

"I fúcking love you, Kara Livingston,"

As we moved closer to close the distance between us again, we smiled at each other, not just with our lips, but with our eyes and with our hearts and with our soul.

It wasn't something that I could describe in words, it was something that was only meant to be felt. All I could say about it was; it was absolutely and undeniably very real indeed.

"I fúcking love you too, Ryder Jake Williams,"

Because this is love. Wild and uncontainable love.







\- - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -