Chapter 45 45: The Ornate Cage

Chapter 45 45: The Ornate Cage
\[ K A R A \]

"Shit!" I heard that voice again.

Then I felt two strong arms grabbed my body and I was quickly being pulled up into the cold, dry air. I jerked my eyes open and I saw… Cole, holding onto me. He looked so distraught.

"Cole..." I murmured.

"Shit!" he cursed again as he frantically reached for a towel and wrapped my body with it. I looked down at the water below and it was dark red. I just realized what I had done.

In a matter of seconds, Cole swiftly carried me out of the bathroom. He laid me down on the bed, grabbing whatever cloth he saw on the floor and tying them unto my wrist for added pressure. When he was done, he lifted my hand up above my heart and quickly ran off to the living room to get the first aid kit. He was scrambling like crazy. Then he came back almost instantly and sat right next to me on the bed.

"What the hell, Kar!?" he screamed, but I had no energy to respond.

He untied the cloth before quickly wrapping my wrist with a bandage. His hands were shaking, and his eyes were... teary.

"Cole..." I said weakly.

He had finished wrapping my wrist with the bandage, but he wasn't letting me go. His hands were trembling as he was clutching my wrist to apply more pressure.

"I'm here, are you okay?" Cole's eyes were filled with panic and fear. "Wait here, let me call 911,"

I shook my head weakly and held his hand to stop him from going anywhere.

"Shit..." he muttered again, his eyes were fixed onto my wrist.

"You came back?" I croaked.

"Of course I did," his breathing was ragged. "I went around the block a few times, I didn't want to leave things the way we did. So I came back. And then I found you, in the bathtub, smothered in a pool of blood! Jesus Christ, what the fuck Kar?!"

Tears trickled down his face. He didn't bother wiping them away. He just stared at me in shock, anguish, and disbelief.

"I... I didn't mean to... I didn't think about doing it... it just happened... I'm sorry..." I stammered.

"You didn't think? What the fuck! Seriously, Kar! Good thing I came back when I did. What happened if I came in too late, huh? Or what happened if your parents came home and they saw you like this?" he was yelling, but he wasn't yelling at me, he was yelling for me.

I felt like the worst human being on earth. I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone but my own pain. And Cole... he cared so much for me, and all I did was hurt him.

"You're lucky the cut wasn't too deep. But you're not doing this again, ever. Do you hear me?" he said sternly and I nodded quietly. "I'll throw out all the razor blades and knives in the house if I have to,"

Using all my remaining energy, I propped myself up to sit up straighter, and his one hand went to my back to help support me up.

"Cole... I'm so sorry, I'm such a gigantic mess," Tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. "I'll understand... if you don't want me... anymore. I was... trying... my best... really," I said in between sobs.

This wasn't fair for Cole. I had to sort out my feelings for Ryder before I could go on. But I didn't even know where to start. I was always thinking about Ryder, even just now. I had actually hoped that he was the one that came and got me...

Cole let out a sigh and he reached out for my face. His eyes were tender as he leaned his forehead unto mine. He was just quiet, his warm breaths hit my cheeks, while his thumb was slowly caressing my face.

"I know I can't keep doing this to you. All I do is hurt you. You deserve so much better," I said again as I bit my lip and looked down. But he reached for my face and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him again. He smiled and shook his head.

"It's okay. I'm okay,"

"Cole?"

"You're not getting rid of me Kara Livingston. Never," he said, matter-of-factly.

"But..."

"Kara, I take it back... what I said before, I take it back. If you just want me for a rebound, sure, go ahead. I'll be your rebound guy, I don't mind. I'll be your second choice, I'll be your consolation prize, whatever it is that you want, that's alright with me. I'll do anything for you. But please, please don't do this to yourself," his eyes were glassy as he leaned in closer still.

"You can do whatever you want with me, I don't mind," he breathed while our noses were pressed onto one another, and our lips were only an inch away from each other. "Please, just don't hurt yourself,"

That touched me. His words went deep into my soul, to a place I thought no one could ever reach again. My hand instinctively went out to his face, resting lightly on his cheek. I wiped off the tears away, and he leaned his face into my hand.

"Cole... you are not my consolation prize," I breathed, pausing for a beat before I admitted, "I... I love you,"

His breath was caught in his throat. His deep brown eyes searched into mine, trying to see if I was honest or serious at all.

So many things had changed in my life, so many people had left. My dad, my mom, even Ryder. But Cole never did. He remained constant and stable, he was my rock. I knew I could always count on him, and that gave me hope.

I really do love this boy. Maybe not in the way I love Ryder, but I love him nonetheless.

"Kara..." he spoke.

"I do, I really do," I said again.

"I... love you too," he said, but even if he didn't say it, I already knew that.

A smile curved up both of our lips as we leaned closer and closer, and we kissed. I immediately link my hand over his neck to pull him even closer to me. He let out a small groan as he deepened our kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I let our tongues tangle between each other.

Cole's hands rested on my sides, as mine went to trail his shoulders and chest. I was only wearing a towel around me, and all our movements had caused it to drop to my side. His breath hitched as soon as he saw me.

We had made out plenty of times before, but this was the first time he ever saw me completely naked. It wasn't like I hadn't thought of doing this with Cole, it was just that I thought I wasn't ready yet.

I didn't know why I was holding myself back all this time. But now I guess there was no reason to hold back anymore.

Slowly, I reached for his bloodstained shirt and began unbuttoning the buttons. His eyes followed my fingers intently and his body was frozen stiff.

"Kara?" he murmured, as I slipped the shirt off of his lean body.

I nodded slowly as I stared at him, giving him my consent.

He wasn't sure what to make of it, but he swallowed hard. I reached out for his face and I pulled him back down to my lips once again. He groaned in pleasure as his hands began to roam my body. His hands were shaking a little, and I thought that was kind of cute.

"Wait, are you sure about this?" he pulled away suddenly.

I didn't say anything, I just reached for his face again and I locked my lips onto his as an answer. He groaned aloud as soon as I did it. My hands traveled to roam his body and they stiffened at my touch. Though he wasn’t muscular, his chest and abs were harder than I had imagined. Cole then started kissing my neck and sucking on it gently. I could feel him getting hard as his bulge was rubbing against my bare stomach.

He’s ready for me… am I ready for him…?

Suddenly, feelings began to wash over me. Feelings that I remembered all too well-- being associated with someone else.

This feels... it feels... weird. It feels... wrong.

All of a sudden, I felt so self-conscious. I wasn't so sure anymore if I had wanted this. And I didn't know what to do, so I panicked, and I started crying.

Cole noticed something was wrong. He brought his face back up to meet mine and said, "Kara — shit. Kara? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, just keep going..." I lied.

But he stopped and he backed away. And I felt... relieved that he did.

"No, Kara, tell me, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

But I couldn't say anything, I just shook my head frantically from side to side.

"Hey, hey, stop, don't cry," he said, pulling me into his chest.

"I'm sorry... I just wanted to be good for you..." I croaked.

"What? Kara... you are good, no, you're perfect," he said, tilting my chin up so I could see his face.

Even in my most messy and ugly state, he called me perfect.

That made me cry out even more. Cole wrapped me in his arms and began stroking my hair gently.

"It's okay, it's okay," he cooed.

"Cole, I really wanted it, I do, but..." I started.

"But it's not the right time," he finished.

"Yeah..." I breathed.

He sighed. "I know what you mean,"

"I'm sorry," I murmured against his chest.

"Hey, I've waited eight years just to kiss you. Don't worry, I think I can wait a little bit more,"

That made me smile, and I buried my face into his chest even deeper this time, inhaling his wonderful scent.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," I breathed.

He didn't say anything, instead, he kissed the top of my head and rested his chin on that spot afterward.

Cole was warm and gentle. His touches were soothing. It made me think that I could lay like this forever.

"Cole, will you stay the night, still?" I said again.

"Of course I will," he didn't even wait for a beat to answer that.

And then he pulled me even closer into his chest and I linked my arms around his waist, holding him tightly right back. Bending down slightly, he pulled the sheets up and made sure that I was all covered and warm.

Cole rested his chin on my head as his fingers gently caressed my face. Neither of us said anything else. We just clung to each other in comfortable silence as we drifted into sleep.

Cole I promise, maybe not today, but someday... I'll be yours.



I was adrift in a peaceful sleep inside Cole's arms, when I noticed my phone had been vibrating for quite some time now. I shuffled a little and I noticed Cole was still asleep. So, I snaked around the bed as quietly as I could, not to wake him up.

I grabbed the phone on the bedside table next to me. There were 5 missed calls from mom. It was in the middle of the night. I sensed that something was wrong. And right on cue, a text chimed in as if to answer my thought:

Mom: Emergency. Call me. It's Ryder.







\- - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -