Chapter 27 Another fail?

Chapter 27 Another fail?

Alex

The email was supposed to arrive at eight in the morning.

By seven thirty, nobody in the house could focus on anything else.

Mom pretended she was making breakfast.

Josh pretended he was finishing homework.

And I pretended I wasn't checking the clock every thirty seconds.

The keyword was ‘pretended’.

The kitchen smelled like toast and eggs, but the food sat mostly untouched on our plates. Mom stood near the stove, stirring coffee she wasn't drinking. Every few seconds, her eyes drifted toward her phone on the counter. Then she would look away again and then back at it and then away.

I hated seeing her like this. Anxious, hopeful and scared. Ever since her second interview last week, she had been different. Not happier exactly.

It was like she was allowing herself to imagine things getting better. Paying bills without calculating every dollar. Sleeping through the night without worrying about water or electricity the next day. I wanted that for her more than anything.

"Mom." I called.

She looked up. "What?"

I pointed toward the coffee she was stirring. "You've been mixing that for like ten minutes."

She blinked and then looked down. "Oh."

Josh giggled from beside me."You look nervous."

"I'm not nervous." She mustered a smile.

"You definitely are."

The front of the refrigerator was covered with random papers, drawings, and notes. Most belonged to Josh. One of them caught my attention.

A folded piece of blue construction paper sat beside the fruit bowl. It was covered in glitter.

I pointed toward it. "What's that?"

Josh's face brightened instantly. "Oh!"

He jumped off his chair. "I almost forgot."

Before anyone could stop him, he grabbed the card and ran toward Mom. "I made it for you."

Mom looked surprised. "For me?"

He nodded enthusiastically. She carefully opened it. Inside was a drawing of our family. The proportions were completely wrong.

Apparently I was seven feet tall, Mum looked like a superhero and Josh looked suspiciously like a potato. But it was perfect.

At the top, he'd written in large uneven letters.
GOOD LUCK MOM!!! Underneath it was another sentence.

YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVER AND YOU WILL GET THE JOB.

The kitchen became quiet. Mom stared at the card for several seconds and then she pulled Josh into a hug. "Oh sweetheart."

Josh beamed proudly. "I used extra glitter."

"I can see that."

"There was more but Alex said glitter was a biohazard."

"Because it is."

Josh ignored me.

Mom kissed the top of his head. "Thank you." Her voice sounded softer now.

Josh hugged her tighter. "You're gonna get it."

For a moment, nobody said anything. Then her phone vibrated. The entire room froze. Mom immediately looked towards the counter. So did I and so did Josh. The notification sat there.

My stomach dropped. This was it. Mom slowly picked up the phone. Her hands shook slightly. Josh climbed back into his chair but leaned forward so far I thought he might fall.

I watched her face carefully as she opened the email. The silence stretched and then Mom's shoulders slumped. And immediately, I knew. Before she even spoke. I knew.

Her eyes closed briefly. Then she lowered the phone.

Josh looked between us. Confused. "What happened?"

Mom forced a smile. The kind adults wear when they're trying not to break apart. "I didn't get it."

Nobody moved or spoke. Josh's smile disappeared first. Then mine. Mom looked down at the card in her hands.

For the first time all morning, she seemed exhausted. Not disappointed or angry, just tired. Like she'd been carrying too much for too long.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

The apology made something twist painfully inside my chest. Because she shouldn't have been apologizing. Not for this, not for trying.
Not for circumstances she couldn't control.

"Mom." I stood up. "It's okay."

The words sounded weak, even to me.

"It's not okay." She shook her head as she fought back tears.

"It will be."

I wasn't sure why I said that. Maybe because Josh needed to hear it or because Mom needed to hear it. Maybe because I needed to hear it.nEven if none of us believed it.

I walked over and squeezed her shoulder. "We'll figure something out.”

She smiled sadly. "I know."

But I could tell she didn't believe it either. Neither did I.

The drive to school felt long. The radio stayed off, my thoughts kept circling back to the kitchen. Josh's card, Mom's face. That exhausted look in her eyes. I hated feeling helpless more than anything.

By the time I arrived at school, my mood had completely crashed. I barely noticed people greeting me in the hallway.bBarely paid attention in class. And during lunch, things only got worse. Because Rachel found me.

I was heading towards my locker when she suddenly appeared beside me. "Alex!"

I closed my eyes briefly. Not today please.

She hurried after me. "Wait."

I kept walking.

"Alex."

"What?" The irritation in my voice came out sharper than intended.

Rachel flinched slightly. "I just wanted to talk."

"I'm busy."

"No you're not."

I stopped and then turned towards her. And immediately regretted it because she looked encouraged. Big mistake.

"What do you want?"

She twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "I need help."

"With?"

"My chemistry assignment."

I stared at her blankly.

She smiled hopefully. "You explain things better than most people."

Normally I would've felt guilty for being rude. Today? Not really.

"Ask someone else."

Her smile faltered. "Alex."

"No."

"Please?"

"No." I began walking away again.

"Why are you being like this?"

Because my family was falling apart, because Mom didn't get the job. Because life was so unfair. Because I was exhausted!

But I couldn't exactly say that. So instead I shrugged. "I don't want to."

Her expression hardened slightly. "You're helping Cecilia."

Rachel continued before I could respond. "You spend hours helping her."

"That's different."

"Why?"

Because Cecilia actually did the work. Because she challenged me. Because…

I stopped that train of thought immediately. "Just leave it alone, Rachel."

Then I walked away and this time I didn't stop. I skipped work that afternoon. I sent a text to Nancy to cover for me. Maybe Barry would finally have enough and fire me.

Instead, I met Cecilia at the small public park near the lake. The one with picnic tables overlooking the water. The weather was nice.

Cecilia arrived five minutes late. Naturally. She dropped her backpack onto the table and sat down. "You look terrible."

I frowned. "Hello to you too."

"You look like you lost a fight."

"Thanks.” I mumbled.

She glanced at me for a while and then sat back. "Huh."

"What?"

"You're actually in a bad mood."

"I'm always in a bad mood."

"No. Your normal mood is grumpy." She gestured to my face. "This is sad grumpy."

I hated that she could tell the difference. I opened my notebook. "We're studying."

"We can multitask."

"No."

"Yes."

I sighed. She smirked slightly.

Then her expression softened. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

I looked away towards the lake. It was peaceful, the opposite of how I was feeling.
Eventually I spoke, "My mom was supposed to hear back from a job interview today."

Her face immediately softened. "Oh."

"Yeah." I stared at the water. "She didn't get it."

For a moment, neither of us said anything.Then Cecilia quietly asked, "Was she hopeful about it?"

I nodded.

"That sucks."

The simple honesty in her voice made something loosen slightly inside my chest.

"Yeah, it does."

She looked down at the table and then back at me.

"My parents suck at communication."

I blinked. "What?"

"I'm trying this thing called trauma bonding."

I laughed despite myself.

Cecilia pointed triumphantly. "There."

"What?"

"You laughed."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't make it weird."

She grinned and then she leaned back in her chair.

"You know..."

I looked at her.

"My parents are currently competing for Worst Marriage of the Year."

She continued.
"They've been acting ridiculous for months,” she chuckled. "Apparently, adults are disasters."

I found myself smiling slightly. "Fair."

"So maybe your mom not getting one job doesn't mean everything is doomed." She added.

I looked away, towards the lake and then the sunlight. Toward anything except the strange warmth her words created.

The weight on my chest felt lighter and I didn’t know if that was a good thing.