Chapter 26 A terrible day

Chapter 26 A terrible day

Cecilia;

The waiting room smelled like antiseptic and I hated it.

Not because there was anything wrong with the smell itself. I hated it because it reminded me of too many things.

Hospital rooms, needles and chemotherapy. The smell gave me bad memories. So when I sat in the familiar blue chair outside Dr. Patel’s office, my hands were already sweaty.

I checked my phone. Nothing. No texts from Mom or Dad about when they would be here. No missed calls either.

I stared at the screen for several seconds before locking it again. Then I checked it two minutes later. Still nothing.

I shouldn't have been surprised. This wasn't even the first time they had forgotten something important in my life. I guess I was stupid for hoping they would show up since they both promised to be here. But somehow neither of them remembered.

I didn't know whether that hurt more than if they had just told me that they weren’t going to come.

"Cecilia Evans?" I looked up to see a nurse smiling at me. "Dr. Patel is ready for you."

I stood up immediately. "Thank you."

The walk to his office wasn't long, but every step made my heartbeat louder and my knees felt like jelly.

I should be fine because my previous tests had been good. My blood work had been good and the doctors had been optimistic. Everything pointed towards good news.

But the first time I found out I had cancer, everything had seemed fine too. I had walked into the doctor's office then without knowing that my life was about to be altered forever.

Dr. Patel looked up from his desk when I entered. "There she is."

I forced a smile. "Hi."

He gestured towards the chair. "Sit down."

I sat down and watched him open a file. My file. The one that held every detail of the worst year of my life inside it.

My stomach twisted and Dr. Patel noticed immediately. "You look nervous." He said.

I tried to smoothen my facial expressions. "I'm not."

He raised an eyebrow and I let it a deep sigh.
"Okay, maybe a little."

"A little?"

"A lot."

He chuckled and then adjusted his glasses and looked down at the papers. Then he smiled and Immediately, some of the tension left my body.

"Everything looks excellent."

I blinked. "What?"

"Your scans are clear. Your blood test is normal. Overall, your recovery has been remarkable." He added.

I stared at him, waiting for him to speak again, to give me certainty. It felt like some bad news was coming as he spoke.

But instead, he smiled wider. "Cecilia, you're doing great."

I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

For a second, I thought I was going to cry.
I had been so scared for so long. Even after treatment ended, even after the doctors called me cancer-free.nThe fear never really left. Every headache I had made me ask the same questions.

‘What if it's back?’

‘What if this time they missed something?’

So many what ifs. But today, that voice was quiet.

Dr. Patel flipped another page. "There's something else."

And just like that, my panic returned. "What?"

He chuckled. "Relax."

I wasn't relaxed, not even for a bit.

He pointed toward the report. "Based on your recovery progress, I'm comfortable clearing you for full physical activity."

I stared. "What?"

"You can dance again."

"You mean..."

"I mean dance."

I blinked, to be sure I had heard him correctly.
"You don't have any restrictions anymore."

I looked down at my hands. Dance. The thing I'd loved most. The thing I'd spent months mourning. The thing I thought I'd lost forever.
I should've been happy.

I should call Amber and Luke immediately to share the good news, or do anything dramatic, something I’d normally do.

Instead, I just sat there, completely still.

Dr. Patel tilted his head. "How do you feel?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I didn’t know what to say.

"I don't know," I admitted quietly.

Something that seemed understanding flickered across his face.

He nodded. "That's okay too."

An hour later, I sat inside my car. The engine was running, but I wasn't driving. I just sat there, staring through the windshield.

My phone buzzed just then and I stared at the screen to see that it was my Mum. I answered immediately. "Hi."

"Sweetheart!" Her voice sounded rushed and I knew instantly that she’d just realized that she had just forgotten about my doctor's appointment.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I completely lost track of time today."

There it was.The thing that I was already tired of hearing. But she did sound remorseful so I could cut her some slack.

"How did it go?" She asked.

I looked down at the steering wheel. "It was fine."

"Fine? Tell me everything.” I heard rustling of papers from the other end.

How could I tell her everything when she's clearly busy at work?

So I said instead, "The test results were good."

"Oh thank God." She breathed a sigh of relief. She asked me more questions about my day and I gave her vague answers.

I didn't tell her the doctor cleared me to dance. It doesn't feel like something to share over the phone. We ended the call after a few minutes.

I had barely put my phone down when my father's call came in. It was the same apology about losing track of time, same conversation and I wondered if they’d both rehearsed it.

By the time both calls ended, I let out a deep sigh.

Everything was fine, I was healthy. The doctor had literally told me I could dance again. So why did I feel so miserable?

I gripped the steering wheel and began to drive. I had no destination in mind, but maybe if I kept moving, my thoughts wouldn't catch me.

Eventually I noticed something familiar. A small brick building and large glass windows. The coffee shop.

I furrowed my brows, wondering why I was here. I hadn't consciously driven here. My hands had apparently made that decision without consulting me.

I stared at the building. Alex wasn't even working today. I knew his schedule. Not because I was stalking him anymore.Mostly because he'd complained about it repeatedly.

Today was his day off. So why had I come? I didn't have an answer. Yet somehow I parked and went in.

The café was quieter than usual. A few college students occupied the corner tables. Soft music played and I let out a deep sigh. The familiar comfort of the place settled around me.

I ordered a drink I didn't really want and then sat in one of the booths. The barista behind the counter wasn't Nancy. It was some guy I'd never seen before.

I stared out the window, the coffe before me untouched. Maybe I should leave. Alex wasn't here anyway. This was stupid.

I grabbed my bag and was just about to stand when the bell above the door chimed. I looked up and froze. Alex walked inside.

For a second, I genuinely thought I was hallucinating. But no, there he was. Dark hoodie, messy hair. Car keys dangling from one hand.

He looked equally surprised to see me. He raised his brows and then walked over.

"What are you doing here?"

I blinked. "I uh..."

I couldn't think of any excuse.

Alex sat across from me before I could answer. "You look weird."

"Uhm… thank you?"

"Wasn't a compliment.”

I rolled my eyes.

He looked at me for a long while, as though he was studying me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

I looked away "I'm fine."

He didn't look convinced and surprisingly, he didn't push. He just nodded. "Okay."

We sat in comfortable silence, the kind I'd never really experienced before. Most people around me filled silence immediately. They asked questions, offered advice, tried to fix things. Alex just sat there and somehow, I liked this better.

After a few minutes, Alex leaned back in his seat. He was still quiet, but now, it was as though he'd made a decision to stay.

I glanced at him. He was looking out the window now, completely unaware that I was watching. Or maybe pretending not to notice. With Alex, it was hard to tell.

The realization settled quietly inside me. My parents loved me. I knew they did.

But lately they were always distracted. And today of all days, I had wanted somebody there for me. Anyone.

And somehow the person who ended up showing up wasn't Mom or Dad or my best friends.

It was Alex.

The same boy I'd spent years fighting.