Chapter 11 Sat on His Face
Amrah
When Chris’s mouth crashed against mine with that familiar intensity, that demanding, possessive kiss like always, I could only think of one person.
The brown untamed curls, the long eyelashes that framed his attractive dark eyes, and those lips that left me…
Chris’s hands moved across my body, slipping under my shirt and squeezing my breasts through my bra, I found myself frozen between two instincts, the instinct to pull him closer, to lose myself in this moment with my boyfriend, and the overwhelming urge to push him away.
My hands stayed uncertainly at his shoulders, neither embracing nor rejecting.
‘This should feel right’, I told myself desperately. ‘He’s my boyfriend, not Zayd’
But Zayd’s kiss kept invading my thoughts, uninvited but wanted and undeniable. The way his lips had moved against mine with such careful attention, like he was savoring something precious.
He was sensual where Chris was forceful. Tentative where Chris was certain. Those two kisses had left me aching for more, my body humming with wanting even hours later.
Chris deepened the kiss, his grip tightening on my waist, and I felt his arousal press against my stomach. My body recoiled instinctively, every muscle tensing despite my mind screaming at me to relax, to respond, and feel something.
But I felt nothing but fear. I was scared of that experience again.
His tongue invaded my mouth and all I could think was how different this was from Zayd’s gentle exploration.
Chris never asked. He never wondered. He just took, assumed, claimed.
I forced myself to kiss him back, to move my lips against his just so he would be happy and not abandon me for another week or more.
My body remained rigid, unresponsive, betraying me with its honesty even as I tried to lie.
“Amrah,” he murmured against my mouth, his voice rough with desire.
Guilt crashed over me in waves. This wasn’t fair to him.
He deserved someone who melted at his touch, who didn’t compare his kisses to someone else’s, who didn’t mentally check out while physically present.
But I couldn’t stop comparing. And in that comparison, everything I had believed about us had begun to crumble.
“Babe, I want to go all the way…” he muttered against my lips.
“No! We can't” I pulled away from Chris before I could stop myself.
Even though I had decided to give in if he ever asked for sex again, I couldn't bring myself to do it. The pain from the last time stuck to my brain like a shadow.
“Oh…” he stared at me for a moment.
My mind was spiraling fast as I waited for him to lash out, to tell me how I don't love him as much as he loves me.
He didn't, instead, he took two steps back and arranged his scrunched-up shirt.
“Fine, I won’t force you, after all, I'm not that type of person" He smiled down at me as he spoke.
Just then, his phone pinged and he stepped back and tapped on it for a while.
I stared up after him,” Chris?” I called in a small voice.
“What?” he had a small smile on his face which made me a bit relieved.
“Are you angry?” I asked with dread.
“No, I have to go” He came closer and dropped a kiss on my forehead before leaving.
I couldn't sleep. Not when Chris left again.
Even though he smiled at me and kissed me on my forehead, I still couldn't stop thinking about how I had rejected him again.
I threw the covers off and sat up. Maybe some sugar would help. I slipped on my fluffy slippers and went to the kitchen to get a can of cranberry juice. I needed that and fresh air, the rooftop was a good option.
I was relieved to find the rooftop empty when I opened the door. I headed for the couch at the corner where other chairs were parked, I just wanted to curl up, sip my cranberry juice, and count the stars.
I plopped down on the couch only to shoot right back up immediately. I glanced down with my heart thumping hard.
I just sat down on someone!
Not just anywhere but on their fucking face. I felt his lips directly against my fucking pussy lips with just my silky shorts as a barrier! I regret coming out in my silky shorts.
Zayd sat up with an amused expression on his face, he looked clearly disheveled because my clumsy ass decided to feed him my pussy while he was asleep.
“I’m sorry. I'm so sorry! Oh my goodness… I didn't mean that I didn't see you… I…” I yapped on anxiously.
“That was my first time” his voice came out groggy, the amused expression still plastered on his face. He didn't look angry in any way.
“Huh?” I was confused for a moment.
“Getting fed in my sleep” I noticed his eyes glancing between my chest and my face.
I resisted the urge to look down because I knew my nipples imprinted on my silk nightwear were flashing at him shamelessly.
“Ah?” My cheeks might bleed to fight with how hard I was blushing.
Then it clicked, he let out a chuckle and my cheeks heated up in embarrassment.
“I'm just joking with you. It's fine, I don't mind if it is you” he said seriously and sat up.
I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say. Did he just say he didn't mind me sitting on his face? Who would want someone sitting on their face?
Zayd is a freak. I just know he is…
“Amrah” his sexy voice cut through my thoughts.
Did I just say sexy?
Lord help me, I'm going insane.
I gave him an awkward smile and sat down beside him. I opened my drink and took a large gulp to moisten my suddenly dry throat.
“Uhm… thank you for today”
“You are welcome” he leaned back, directing his attention to me. I sipped my drink anxiously wondering if I should offer him or not.
“Care for some?” I held out the can, Zayd shook his head.
“Can't sleep?” he asked.
“Yeah, Chris left” I didn't know why I blurted that out.
“Fought?”
“No, I'm just a bad girlfriend” I took another anxious sleep. I needed to rant, and I didn't know why my mouth wouldn't stop ranting to Zayd.
“Why did you conclude that?”
“He… uhm.. We haven’t had sex because I keep refusing him. I… I'm not ready for it.”
Zayd sat up with a huge frown on his face, “Did you conclude that yourself or were you told?” His voice had an edge to it that hinted at his brewing anger.
Why was he angry?
“I concluded that myself” I finished my drink in a rushed gulp.
“That's a wrong conclusion. You are not a bad girlfriend just because you are not ready to have sex with your boyfriend. If you are not ready, then you are not. Don't beat yourself up for validating your own feelings “ he declared.
That was the longest sentence I have ever heard Zayd say in a breath.