Author Pov
Sleep. It was nowhere around her. Her eyes were fixed on the man laid beside her. Their faces were inches away as Xander was holding her against him tightly.
Even in his sleep, his one arm was securely wrapped around her waist holding her firmly beside him. It was almost like he was afraid that she will fade away. His face had no ounce of peace. He looked tense. And bothered.
Peace. It wasn't near her as well. She couldn't help but think about the things he told her about his past. It was too much to take in one go. It wasn't just his past. It was the biggest scar of his life that has been going up to his future as well.
Forget. He can't and it's obvious. His mind would never let him forget the sin he committed. And Amelia knew. She knew that no matter how much she tries she can't make him forget that sinful act of his in past.
Mia. Her eyes got teary remembering the life of that innocent girl. How much she had suffered. She was just 18 years old and that man mercilessly used her.
Yes used her. You can't name his actions as love. He was never in love with her. It was an infatuation. He was infatuated with that innocent young girl and when that limited attraction got fulfilled he did what only an infatuation can lead to.
Left. He left her being a coward of a century. He proved to her how weak his love was. He didn't fight for her love. Yes, Xander was responsible for their break-up and his hatred towards Mia but he wasn't the one who forced him to run away.
Played. Yes, that's what he did to that gullible girl. He played her. He used her. He fulfilled his every desire but when he realized that he was leaving his family. His son and his wife for the timely affair made him realized many things.
Wife. Amelia's face grimaced at the thought of that woman knowing everything and still forgiving him. Did she know what he had done to Mia? Did she know how he was planning to abandon her and their son? Did she know what kind of a despicable man her husband is? Did she.
Disgust. That's the thing Amelia felt thinking about the possibilities of that woman knowing everything and still accepting that man.
Yes, she felt the same disgust for Xander when he told her about what he had done to Mia. And for a second she considered his love as an obsession. She didn't want to but her mind was naming his love as an obsession only.
But after his revelation of doing so much for Mia. Even leaving his soul on the edge of being hurt again and again he still did everything for her. He didn't care about Alexander's not being his son instead till now he's holding Alexander close like his life depends on that Lil guy.
At first, Amelia thought that because of Xander's cold personality he has been quite distant from Alexander. But now she knew why he was trying not to show many emotions to his son.
Guilt. That was the sole reason he was trying not to show himself in front of Alexander. He was afraid of breaking down seeing a replica of his late wife. The same wife that left him in nothing but regrets.
She had seen Xander peeking at Alexander every time he got a chance. The small smiles. The genuine one that has always been because of that Lil guy. Xander loves Alexander like his own son. But he's afraid of losing him as well.
He's afraid of witnessing his son's accusing eyes. He's afraid of the questions he might ask about his mother. He's afraid of being held as a culprit in front of the kid that he calls his son.
He's afraid of his son getting to know that he's not his biological father. And he's the reason why his biological father doesn't know about him.
Amelia felt a tear escaping her eyes as she placed a hand on his cheek with her eyes moving all over his tensed face. He flinched slightly at her touch before pulling her closer and snuggling in her crook more.
Amelia wiped her tear away and wrapped her arms around him. All of the things he did or happened had been in his past now.
She had seen the real Xander in these 11 months of their marriage. She had seen what a humble yet scary man he is.
He is dominant. He is possessive. He is controlling sometimes. He is annoying sometimes. He is clingy as well. But all of these things showed only his care yet possessive affection towards her.
No one's perfect. She knew and she never asked for Xander to be a prince charming for her. She liked him the way he is. She liked him being imperfect. She liked him being what he is.
She didn't care about his past before he told her everything and she didn't care even after knowing all of these. We make mistakes. Yes, we do but repentance is above everything.
He sinned. He regretted. He apologized. He redeemed himself. He earned forgiveness. He even loved her more than himself. But something that scared her was.
Love. His eyes were begging to feel love. He was desperately wanted to be loved by Mia. No. He just wanted to be loved. His father's affection he craved for years. But the love a partner can give is something every soul begs for.
But can she. Amelia was in a huge dilemma after witnessing how his heart was begging to be loved. A giant man was so vulnerable while weeping in her arms. Only to feel a little bit of love.
Her arms tighten on his body as she was afraid. She was afraid of what if she wouldn't be able to give him the love he deserves just like Mia. He deserves more than just being liked.
He deserves to be loved like crazy. But can she. Can she love him? Can she forget the man she loved for years and hold this man's hand? Let him own her Heart.
She wants to move on and she knew the time will eventually help her. But moving on and loving someone are different things. She was afraid of putting him in the same position again.
The man already had enough. Should she love him out of pity? No. She can't and she wouldn't. She hates the love given because of pity. You can't love someone out of pity.
A pure feeling of love comes with passion. A passion of holding someone till your last breath. And she wanted to feel that passion for him, not the one that would only come out of sympathy.
But the question is. Can she.
Soon sun shined in its full glory making a man stirred in his sleep opening his ocean eyes only to witness his head being buried in the collarbone of his wife.
He moved his head up a little only to find her sleeping holding him against her body like a baby. He couldn't help but smile remembering last night.
How she held him closer. He kind of expected her to push him away. To call him disgusting. To ask him multiple questions of how low can he stoop to destroy an innocent girl's life. To increase his guilt.
But instead, she did the opposite. She held him closer. She comforted him in his most vulnerable moment. She didn't question him much. She didn't let him feel cold or alone.
She made him feel something. Something he's afraid of feeling again. Something that he didn't want to bet on again. Something that had ruined him before and he was afraid of being destroyed by it again. And he knew this time he wouldn't be able to handle it.
His lips landed on her revealed collarbone as he pecks her soft skin. His father was right. He indeed got a gem without any effort.
"Xander." His head snapped towards his wife who slowly removed her arms from his body rubbing her eyes. The loss of her touch almost made him winced in displease. Almost.
"How are you feeling." She said sitting up on the bed with a small groan as she felt her back numb as his weight was on her all night.
"Damn I am becoming old." She said stretching her arms and rubbing her back with an irritated face. Xander chuckled before sitting up on the bed as well.
"Are you ok? Are you having a headache? Let me make breakfast for you. You must be hungry and the---" Xander placed a finger on her lips making her shut her blabbering.
"Shh. I am fine darling. I was just thinking." He stopped making Amelia hold his hand.
"Thinking what." She questioned making him sigh with a sad smile.
"Your too precious to be a wife of a beast like me. I don't deserve you. You deserve so much better than me but I know I am so selfish that I can't seem to let you go. I just--" This time Amelia placed her tiny palm on his lips halting him.
"Your not selfish Xander. You would have been if I am to choose someone else and you wouldn't let me be and held me against my will. But you didn't. If you being with me with my consent and didn't want to let go is selfishness then I am selfish too." She said making his eyes widened a little.
"I don't want to let you go. I don't want you to look at another woman than me. I won't let you go as well. Then it means I am being selfish then fine I am. And I don't care. I want my husband. I don't care what he did in his past. He makes me happy. I am his happiness and that's enough. I want him to be mine the same way I am his. And I am selfish that now I can even handcuff him on the bed if he said he wants to leave me."
She said everything making Xander's eyes teary. He had never heard anyone tell him this. Her every word made him feel so special. Amelia placed her palms on his cheeks wiping his tears away.
He slowly leaned closer placing his forehead against hers. He thought that she might not accept him after his past revelation but everything was happening opposite of what he predicted.
"How. How did I end having you? How did my fate end up giving a beast like me an angel? How did I end up becoming so lucky? How." Amelia chuckled at his words. She felt her heart racing at his cheesy yet romantic words.
"Damn my big cry baby." She mumbled wiping his wet cheeks making him chuckle.
His eyes suddenly went to her dry lips making Amelia understand what he wants to do. But before he could kiss her.
"Ow." His head snapped to the side when a smack landed on his head making him groan. His shocked eyes stared at his wife in confusion.
"You're disgusting. You just woke up. Freaking brush and shower first. Your breath stinks like a month old dirty socks. Now get lost in the bathroom before I kick you out of the bed." She said glaring at him.
Xander gulped in fear and slowly got out of the bed. He smiled awkwardly at her before taking few steps back.
"Baby relax. I am going. Just relax." He said making her look at him with a blank face. He smiled nervously last time and ran inside the bathroom.
"Damn she's scary." He mumbled to himself while Amelia grinned arranging the bed. She liked having control over him too. It was funny seeing the horror look on his scary face.
While Xander took a shower and stood in front of the mirror. A small smile appeared on his lips. And for the first time in these 7 years, he didn't look at himself with regret or guilt.
Instead, he was debating on how he ended up being so lucky. Indeed miracles happen. And.
She was his miracle.
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