Chapter 37 37

Chapter 37 37
Chapter 37
Beneath the Table of Secrets
Damien’s POV
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I’m actually sleeping with my step-cousin, my best friend’s little sister, and now Jonathan is back.
Jonathan…my brother in everything except blood and by marriage, my best friend since childhood, the one guy I’d always sworn loyalty to. He almost caught me just now, almost saw me hiding under Clarissa’s bed like some guilty teenager.
If he had bent low enough, if he had even crouched slightly, everything would have been over. His legs were just standing so close to the bed.
I swear my heart almost leapt out of my chest as I held my breath, my lungs screaming, and my pulse hammering so violently that I thought Jonathan could hear it through the silence.
That man would’ve ripped me apart with his bare hands if he knew the truth. Yeah…he's 2 years older than me.
Thank God Clarissa handled it well. Her voice had trembled, sure, and her lie wasn’t perfect, but she sold it enough for him to buy it.
She saved us both, saved me most of all. Because if Jonathan knew what I had done with his sister last night—how I had touched her, kissed her, buried myself inside her—he would never forgive me.
“That was too close,” I whispered to myself when Jonathan finally left the room.
As I crawled out from under the bed, my mind was heavy with guilt. I couldn’t stop replaying Jonathan’s words in my head. I’m glad Damien is here. He’ll keep you safe. He’s like a step cousin to you. He’ll take care of you.
The irony nearly choked me. Jonathan thought I was guarding her innocence, while in truth, I was the one stealing it.
I had broken his trust. And the more I thought about it, the more a question clawed at me: Do I have to end things with Clarissa? Maybe it was the only way to protect her. Maybe it was the only way to keep Jonathan from hating me. But then another voice inside me whispered: Take responsibility. You touched her. You wanted her. You already crossed the line. Don’t abandon her now.
The weight of it sat on me as the day moved forward.

It was nearly lunchtime when I left Clarissa’s room. I returned to mine, showered quickly, and dressed in a crisp shirt and jeans, trying to mask the turmoil inside me with neatness. I hoped that if I looked put together, maybe no one would see the storm in my chest.
Not long after, Clarissa came into my room. My breath caught when I saw her. She was dressed in short biker shorts that clung to her thighs and a fitted tank top that hugged her curves, and her breasts were popping out.
Her red shoes made her legs look endless. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, sharp and playful at once. She looked… radiant. I almost grabbed her again, God!
I caught myself staring. My eyes followed every line of her body before I snapped back into reality.
She noticed, of course. She always notices. Her lips curved into a small smile before she spoke.
“Don’t forget my brother is here,” she reminded me with a teasing tilt of her head. “Actually, I came to tell you that he’s downstairs. He wants us to go have lunch together.”
Before I could even respond, she turned and left, the sway of her hips mocking my self-control. She was avoiding me, but she also knew exactly what she was doing.
I exhaled sharply and followed soon after.
We all went downstairs together, pretending as though nothing had happened the night before. Pretending as though we were normal. Pretending as though we weren’t bound by a secret that could shatter everything.
Jonathan had already picked a restaurant, one of my favorites, actually. He remembered.
Of course he did. Jonathan always knew the things I liked. That’s the kind of friend he was.
We arrived and were seated at a round table. Plates of food came quickly—chips, noodles, spaghetti, and fried rice. One thing is for sure: Jonathan loved to order in excess.
He had always been a foodie, greedy for variety, and today was no different.
“Thank you,” I said politely to the waiter as the dishes were set down.
Jonathan clapped his hands together and grinned. “This is so nice. I know you’ll love it, Damien. Why don’t you just dig in already? I’m starving.”
I smiled, but it was tight; my mind wasn't at rest at all seeing Clarissa.
My eyes flickered to Clarissa, who sat across from me, pretending to be calm, but I noticed the way her fingers fidgeted slightly with her fork.
She looked at me every passing second; her quick glances burned and were so uncomfortable for me, as though she couldn’t resist reminding me silently of what we shared.
I prayed Jonathan wouldn’t notice the unspoken electricity darting between us.
The silence stretched until Jonathan broke it. His eyes fixed on me, sharp and direct. “All in all, Damien, I hope you’re taking care of my sister.”
My smile stiffened. “Yeah. Yeah, sure. Of course, I’m taking care of her.”
Jonathan nodded, but his gaze was fixed on mine for a while as if he were testing me. Then, with a lighter tone, he leaned back in his chair.
“You know, studying abroad was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I’m sure you had the same, didn’t you? You went abroad too. So, what’s going on here? How are you both coping?”
Did he really have to ask such clinging questions?
He continued, “Because I remember back in high school, you two were like cat and rat—always fighting, always annoying each other. Even if the connection is still there, you’re handling it better now, right?”
We all laughed. Mine was nervous, forced. As well as Clarissa’s, she sounded like bells forced through trembling lips. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.
I jumped in quickly. “Oh, I told you, Jonathan, I’m taking care of her. Don’t worry. I’m really keeping an eye on her, you know.”
But Clarissa stayed silent. She focused on her plate, swirling spaghetti around her fork, pretending not to hear.
Jonathan shifted topics smoothly. “So, Damien, you’re done with football, man?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Yes, I’m done. Since last year, when I entered law school. I just wanted to focus more on my studies.”
But then something distracted me. What the fuck!
Under the table, I felt it…soft and deliberate. A leg brushed against mine.
My pulse spiked instantly. Slowly and carefully, I glanced down, and yes, Clarissa’s leg was stretched toward me, her delicate foot resting lightly against my shin.
My throat went dry.
Is she serious? I thought. Is she really trying to turn me on here? In front of her brother?
I shifted uncomfortably, trying to keep my composure. But the memory of last night, the sound of her breathless moans, the way her face had melted with desire…flooded back into me like fire.
Above the table, Clarissa looked calm and so innocent. She was smiling at Jonathan, eating casually. But under the table, she was playing a dangerous game, her touch dragging heat and tension into my body.
Jonathan’s eyes flicked between us, and I panicked.
“Yeah,” I blurted nervously. “But you know me. I just… I had a hard time with football lately.”
Jonathan frowned slightly. “Oh really? Why?”
“I… I…” My tongue stumbled. Words failed me. I couldn’t think straight with Clarissa’s foot against me, stroking gently, teasing me while her brother interrogated me. My breathing grew heavier, betraying my nerves.
Inside, I screamed silently: Clarissa, what are you doing to me? If your brother wasn’t here, I would take you right now, right here, without caring who the fuck is looking.
And then, just as I thought I might lose control… Someone called from behind us.
“Hey, girly!”
We all turned, including Clarissa. My chest tightened.
It was Debbie.
Debbie, the girl from our class. The one I had seen at the party last night. The one who had watched everything too closely, Abigail’s friend.
She walked toward our table with a confident smile, her voice carrying across the restaurant. “Why did you disappear on me last night? Do you know Abigail and I were looking everywhere for you, Clarissa?”
Clarissa’s face immediately flushed red. She forced a laugh, stammering. “Oh, Debbie! What are you doing here? Do you… love this restaurant as well?”
Her nervousness was written all over her face. Her eyes darted to Jonathan, then to me, then back to Debbie.
I swallowed hard, heat crawling up my neck.
This wasn’t good. Debbie knew something. She had seen too much.
She leaned closer to Clarissa, grinning slyly, her eyes flicking briefly to me before settling back on her. “Oh, I see who you decided to go home with last night after all, huh?”
My heart nearly stopped.
I didn’t even realize I had balled my fists under the table until my knuckles turned white.
Please, God, I prayed silently. Please don’t let her say my name. Please don’t let her expose us. If she does… I’m dead.