Chapter 36 36

Chapter 36 36


Chapter 36
Behind Closed Doors
Clarissa’s POV
This is my brother for you: clingy, protective, overbearing, serious, angry, and yet everything good that you can name. That’s Jonathan. My older brother. He has always been on my neck since I was little. He didn’t want to see me with men, not even when we were in high school.
If he ever caught me talking to a boy, his eyes would harden, and he would pull me away, reminding me how boys could destroy my future and how they could ruin everything I was meant to become.
It’s crazy, isn’t it? Because I’m not a little child anymore. I’m not the same girl who used to hide behind his back whenever I felt shy. I’ve grown, and yet, he still watches me as though I could break at any moment.
And maybe…just maybe—that’s the exact reason Damien doesn’t want me to have anything to do with him. Because Jonathan values me too much. Because Jonathan would rather kill than see me tangled up with any boy, let alone his best friend and step-cousin.
If Jonathan ever found out that Damien and I had slept together… oh God, Damien would be finished. He wouldn’t survive Jonathan’s wrath. I know my brother. Not that Damian couldn't fight for himself, though, but for the fact that they were best friends and they do everything together; it would hurt him a lot.
And now, the way Jonathan’s piercing eyes narrowed on me, it felt like he already suspected something.
I felt awkward. My palms were clammy, and sweat was already building up on my forehead. He knew I was nervous. His stare could cut through skin and bone.
“Clarissa,” he said firmly, his voice low, as though he was cross-examining me in a courtroom. “You are telling me what’s going on. Right now.”
I swallowed hard. My lips trembled. “I’m fine. I’m telling you everything.”
He shrugged one broad shoulder, but his eyes didn’t soften. They pinned me down like a butterfly trapped under glass. “I’m waiting,” he repeated.
My heart raced. My mind spun. I couldn’t tell him the truth. God, if I did… everything would end. Damien would lose his best friend, his cousin, and his protector. And I would lose Damien.
So I lied. At least that's the only thing I could think of at the moment.
“You see…” I started, my voice faltering. “Last night, I got drunk. I went to the party—you know, our class actually had a party. I went with my friends, and I… I used a fake ID. It showed I wasn’t underage. I took alcohol. I got drunk. That’s why I look like this.”
As the words spilled from my mouth, my chest tightened with guilt. God, please. Please let him believe me. Please let this be enough.
Jonathan’s face remained unreadable for a moment. The silence between us was suffocating. Then, unexpectedly, he burst out laughing. Loud, rough laughter that shook his shoulders.
“Really?” he said, shaking his head. “You had to go out and get drunk? Where is your self-control, Clarissa?”
I let out a shaky breath, relieved. I forced a nervous chuckle and pressed my hands together. Finally he believed that!
“I’m so sorry, brother. I got so, so drunk that I didn’t even notice what I was wearing. I… I saw Damien’s shirt and just drunkenly put it on. It’s only this morning I realized what I was wearing. I stole it from his room. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.”
I pouted, pushing out my lips like a little kid begging for candy.
Jonathan shook his head, chuckling softly. His serious face broke for a moment. “Oh my God, Clarissa. I didn’t even know that was it. You got me so scared. I thought something happened between you and Damien.”
He laughed again, his voice filling the room, and for a split second, I almost laughed too. Almost screamed—something happened!
Inside, my heart whispered bitterly: "Oh no, brother." If only you knew. If only you knew how wrong you are.
I thought of last night, how Damien’s lips had crushed against mine, how his hands had pinned me, and how his body had made me beg for mercy. My cheeks burned at the memory. But outwardly, I just smiled sweetly. “Yeah,” I said. “I thought as much.”
Jonathan nodded. “It’s true. And besides, why am I even suspecting anything? I know Damien. You’re like a little sister to him. I’m so glad he’s here, living with you in the same house. If not for anything, at least for one reason, that I know he’ll keep you safe. As a stepcousin and my best friend. Right?” He gave me a wide smile.
I mirrored his smile, but my gaze flicked quickly to the floor. Inside, I was screaming at Damien… Do you hear him? Do you see the faith he has in you? And you still had the nerve to touch me. But I loved it! Hehe
I licked my lips nervously. “Of course. He’s trying his best. He’s a really good guy.”
Jonathan’s smile deepened, satisfied.
But before the silence stretched too long, I quickly added, “Brother, do you mind leaving so I can change? You know… girl’s privacy. I’m no longer a small child.” I said it jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Jonathan rolled his eyes dramatically, as though I was being silly. “You have a point. I’ll let you change.” He turned to leave, but then he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. “And Clarissa? Don’t forget. We should all go for lunch this evening.”
I forced a smile, waving my hand casually. “Okay. I’ll come downstairs.”
But then…oh God! He stopped again.
My heart pounded like a war drum in my chest.
Jonathan turned back, his eyes sharp once more. “Sorry. I just want to ask… where is Damien? I haven’t seen him. He wasn’t in his room. And he’s not downstairs either.”
Blood drained from my face.
Under the bed, I knew Damien’s chest had gone rigid. I could almost hear his pulse racing in the silence.
I forced a laugh, my mind scrambling. “Oh, you mean Damien? Yes, Damien. Damien is… on the run. Yeah, he worked out a lot last night. He must’ve gone for a run this morning. I’m sure lunch will sound good to him when he’s back.”
Jonathan studied me for a long moment. His eyes narrowed slightly, but then he nodded. “Oh, I see. Okay. No problem. I’ll be waiting. Take care.”
He finally turned and walked out, his footsteps fading down the stairs.
The second the door clicked shut, I collapsed against it, breathing out in relief. My knees trembled as though they could barely hold me.
“Oh my goodness,” I whispered. “That was close.”
Slowly, I looked toward the bed. My voice was shaky, but I forced it out. “You can come out now. I know you’re there.”
The mattress shifted slightly. A moment later, Damien slid out from under the bed, his dark hair messy, his face pale but tense. His eyes locked on mine, sharp and conflicted, like a storm brewing.
My heart lurched.
Because in that single look, I saw everything: his guilt, his fear, his defiance, and his hunger.
And for the first time… I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Jonathan wasn’t the only dangerous one in this house.
Was he going to let go? How do we even get to live with my brother!?