***Chapter Thirty***
“What’s friends with secret benefits?” I asked both Cameron and Dillon.
Cameron face palmed himself. “Dillon was right. Your innocence is truly disturbing.”
I scowl at my friend with his non-helpful advice. It’s not my fault I experienced little going through high school. In middle school, I was the girl with the ugly name. In high school, I was damn near invisible aside from being with Dillon. My social was nothing like it is now. I spent most of my days at home with my parents before they got divorced. There weren’t any guys I was interested in that would have been willing to talk to me, anyway. It took me till now to talk to Drew. Maybe I could have asked certain questions, but it seemed pointless since it wasn’t ever going to happen to me back then.
Dillon laughed, sitting with her arms crossed. “First, the term is Friends with Benefits. There’s no secret in it.” She explained to me.
I shrug. “I guess they just want to keep it a secret, so they said it like that.” I avoided any names.
“Second, who’s they?” Cameron asked. “You can’t be asking us questions and not say who they are.”
My cheeks turn red when he asks me that question. I shouldn’t be asking them this if I wouldn’t tell them that Drew is the one that proposed the idea, yet again. The added word of secret pegs me to believe he doesn’t want to tell anyone which I’m fine with. The problem is that I already agreed to something without knowing what exactly to do. What was supposed to be kept secret and why? He’ll laugh once he realizes I did not know what he meant. It’s so embarrassing.
Still, I wouldn’t say any names, not even Keegan’s. Lying wouldn’t do me any good in this situation. So, I opt to say nothing about who they are and get answers to my question.
The main thing was to make sure I’m not doing anything wrong with Drew’s crazy schemes. It’s like he doesn’t notice how naïve I am to everything.
Ignoring Cameron’s question, I continue to ask for advice. “For real guys, what is expected of me?”
“Well, think of it as your this person’s girlfriend,” Dillon explained. “You’ll do things as if you’re in a relationship but your friends.”
My eyes widen. “Seriously? And people just do this with no problems or feelings getting in the way?” I continue to ask.
Cameron laughed. “Oh no, there are always issues when trying to be friends with benefits.” Way to sugarcoat it. “I’m sure you’ll be fine since it’s not Drew clearly.”
That part wasn’t true and made me even more skeptical about the whole thing. My feelings for Drew were real and though he gave me a vague explanation, he may have feelings for me, too. What if things go too far and we lose ourselves in the process? Did he truly think this was a good idea? From the sounds of it, trying something like this may be more trouble than it’s worth. Yet, I’d be able to get treated like Juliana only secretly. The dilemma I’m facing tells me I shouldn’t do this, but I couldn’t turn it away. Drew could handle himself and his emotions. It’s me who may not do the same.
I laugh at them, thinking it wasn’t Drew, continuing to say no names in the matter. The term still confused me since I’m brand new to the ordeal. I get acting like his girlfriend when we’re friends, but would that incline for other more promiscuous activities happening as well? Activities that I’m not quite ready to handle at this point in time. More like my lack of experience is holding me back from doing anything like that. Truthfully, I didn’t want to disappoint him. Comparing to Juliana, I’m nothing.
Regardless, I didn’t want to ask too many questions as I got the jist of what was expected. Drew should be the one I’m talking to about this since we’re the ones in the arrangement together. My worst fear is telling him, and then he laughs at my pathetic behavior. It’s not my fault I did nothing in high school.
We continued to talk until Juliana appeared out of nowhere. She overheard a bit of our conversation, but again, I wasn’t saying names, so it wouldn’t matter if she listened in or not. Things were still awkward on my part because I know I kissed Drew, but to me she was still a very nice girl.
Sitting down with us, it thrilled her to talk about this with me. “Anna, this is going to be one college experience you won’t ever forget!” She yelled. “Gosh, I remember my first time.”
I giggled as she reminisced. “I don’t know. I’m not planning to do any of that.” I rub the back of my neck. I truly wasn’t interested.
Juliana and Dillon looked at me like I was crazy. “How could you not? You’re in college now. It’ll be fine.” Dillon tried to convince me.
“You can’t stay a virgin forever,” Juliana reminded me.
Cameron rested his hand on my shoulder for reassurance. “Don’t even worry about it. You’ll know when you’re ready.”
Thank goodness I had someone like Cameron because these girls were killing me. I know I couldn’t stay a virgin forever, but something like that should be special. It couldn’t be when Drew still is dating Juliana and technically, we weren’t romantically connected. Not that they know all the details. They were only saying things based on what I told them. Either way, I’m not ready for that next step. I’ll just being boring, I guess.
They dropped the topic, and we continued to enjoy our time with each other. That is until Cameron had to leave me here with the wolves. It didn’t matter though, because right when Cameron left, Drew came over to us as well. It was thrilling seeing him, but I had to hold it in because Juliana was here. He looked surprised to see her here as well because in his hand he held two drinks. His matcha tea and my iced latte. Honestly, with how busy Juliana was, no one expected her to show up. She did not freak out.
I smiled, eager to have my drink. “Is that my latte?” I questioned with gleeful eyes.
Drew handed it to me with a nod. “I didn’t think you would be here Julie, I would have got yours.” He said to avoid another disaster.
She brushed it off. “It’s ok, I have practice anyway.” She stands up and kisses him ferociously before turning back around. “You all are coming to the game, right?”
Dillon nods. “Yep, Dre is excited about it, so I have no choice.”
Juliana smiled, satisfied with Dillon’s answer. “Great, Anna, do you mind coming to the line with me real quick?”
That came out of nowhere, but I didn’t see what the problem will be. I didn’t hesitate to go over in the line with her. She said nothing while we waited for her drink to be made. The air felt awkward with just us two alone, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. There’s no way she knew about the kiss that happened between Drew and I. She wouldn’t be this calm if that were the case.
However, her mind was racing and I should have expected her to question me once Drew bought me a drink and not her. She kept her emotions in check, though as to not cause a scene. She had too much going on for her to make a big deal out of this stuff. After the hat debacle, I’m positive she’s been keeping an extra eye on me with Drew. That I can’t blame her for.
Grabbing her Drink, she pulled me aside with a serious look on her face. It reminded me of that time she pulled me aside after class. Making sure our relationship was nothing more than his sister’s friend.
She crossed her arms to look at me up and down. “Who exactly is this person you’re trying to befriend?” She was asking about my the option that was proposed to me.
I didn’t even tell Cameron or Dillon. What makes her think I’m going to tell her? “I’m afraid I can’t say. It’s supposed to be a secret.” I inform her.
Juliana didn’t like that answer, the venom in her eyes growing. “Secret my ass,” she spoke angrily. “Just make sure your secret fling isn’t with Andrew Tate and we’ll be fine. Ok?” She smiled at the end.
It’s obvious she was threatening me and I could see why. Drew wasn’t someone you just gave up. Juliana has been dating him for years now. Surely their relationship has turned into something more serious than a high school crush. It made little sense why he would ask me such things if that were the case. I’m just going with the flow to keep my fantasies alive and open. Crossing Juliana wasn’t something I had on my to-do list, but never say never.