Chapter 465 Leaving The City

Chapter 465 Leaving The City
DEVON

Kaitlyn places her hand on his thigh. She's beaming; she looks a little too happy for someone who's leaving everything behind, but he's glad she's here with him. She left her job, rented out her apartment for a year, and she sold her car. Her trust in him is admirable. Kaitlyn's love for him is unconditional. He stuck with her through all his ups and downs the past year. He'd go months without seeing her, then he'd think of Amelia and he'd stop by her apartment and he'd fuck her with his eyes closed. Occasionally he'd feel like a dickhead for treating her so poorly, but he's never been consistent with her and he never promised her anything. Even now, he's not promising to start a family with her. He doesn't plan on marrying her, that life just isn't for him. But sometimes he'll stop and wonder whether he's making the right decision, whether he'll regret it at some point. He did with Amelia. He imagined a life with her, fleetingly. It would never work out, though, it was just a fantasy.

He can't build a life with anyone. He's too selfish, too unstable. He'd make a terrible father.

Regardless of what he opts to do, Kaitlyn will support him all the way. He could stop the car and tell her to get out and she'd still forgive him. Perhaps she's exactly the kind of woman he has always needed, one who would pardon his numerous faults and make him feel loved and admired. But there's a darkness inside of him that eats anything that is remotely pure and innocent. It's a living, breathing fuck. He would have gobbled Amelia up in a heartbeat. He knows it, yet the selfish part of him didn't care. As long as he had her, he'd be alright. In the end, he made the right decision. Moving away is the right decision. Kaitlyn is alright, she's here. Their darkness is compatible.

Oh, she's not as pure as Amelia, not in the slightest. There's an ugliness to her obsession with him. She'd kill him without remorse. It's the other reason why he decided to stay with her. He loves a bit of toxicity. They're a good match. Even so, she's not the one. She's not irreplaceable.

They arrive at the airport. His heart's in his throat now, but he tries not to show it. He gets out of the car quickly and pops the trunk open to retrieve his bags. Kaitlyn is right beside him with her suitcase. She's calm, much unlike him. She takes his hand and he squeezes the life out of her fingers. She never complains. It's mildly reassuring.

He can't help but glance around. There aren't a lot of people, which is an odd relief. He isn't sure why, but he feels like someone will stop him from leaving. The cops, the mob, anyone. He holds his breath and his grip on the strap of his duffel bag tightens. He quickens his pace and Kaitlyn does the same. This is too easy, this city wouldn't just allow him to leave. Not after everything he's done.

Only, no one stops him.

He can't say if he's relieved or disappointed. He's in the plane now, sitting beside Kaitlyn. He stares out the window. It's dark out, so there's not much he can see. He'd definitely see sirens, though, if they were headed his way.

"What's wrong?" Kaitlyn asks him, touching his arm lightly. He turns to look at her and something settles heavily in his chest. He can't place it, all he knows is that it isn't pleasant. He tries not to think of how this feels wrong, of how he wishes things had turned out differently. He reminds himself that he made this decision, no one put a gun to his head. He couldn't stay, he knew that. He's no longer needed. He barely had a job and he felt empty for too long. He's always felt that way, but lately he's been wanting to fill the hole in his heart, a hole that's been there since he was fucking born. That's exactly what he's doing right now, it's the right thing to do, yet this heaviness in his chest suggests otherwise.

Then again, it could be that it's just his heart saying goodbye. He's leaving everything that ever meant something to him behind, that's got to fucking hurt.

She touches him again. He senses her urgency. "Devon?"

"Nothing," he says, knowing damn well that he's lying. He's a fucking liar. "Nothing at all."