Chapter 109 109

Chapter 109 109
~ZAYNE~

"You are zoning out again."

Nessa's voice pulled me back. I'd been staring at my coffee for the past five minutes, watching it go cold.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I was telling you about my psych paper. But you weren't listening." She reached across the table and touched my hand. "Where did you go just now?"

I didn't know how to answer that. Couldn't explain that I'd been thinking about Arlina again, even though I was sitting here with Nessa, even though Arlina had rejected me, even though this was what I supposedly wanted.

"Just tired," I said.

"You've been tired a lot lately."

"Yeah."

We were at the coffee shop near campus. Our third date this week. Or was it the fourth? The days were blurring together.

Nessa was talking again, something about her classes or her friends. I tried to focus but my mind kept drifting.

To Arlina's face when I asked Nessa to be my girlfriend. The devastation in her eyes. The way she'd stood there in that blue dress, looking like her world was ending.

My chest hurt thinking about it.

"Zayne? Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just…just headache."

"Again? That's the third one this week."

Was it? I couldn't remember. Everything felt foggy lately, like I was moving through water.

"I miss her."

The words came out before I could stop them.

Nessa's expression shifted slightly. "Miss who?"

"Arlina. I miss Arlina."

"Your ex-mate who rejected you in front of everyone?"

"She's not my ex—" I stopped. Wasn't she? She'd invoked formal rejection. Under pack law, that severed the bond. We weren't mates anymore.

So why did it still feel like she was mine?

"Maybe you should talk to her," Nessa said carefully. "Get closure."

"She won't talk to me. Stefan said she's locked herself in her room. Won't see anyone."

"Can you blame her? You publicly humiliated her."

The words stung. "I didn't mean to—"

"Didn't you? You asked me to be your girlfriend at a party. In front of half the campus. What did you think would happen?"

My head throbbed. I pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to ease the pressure.

Why had I done that? Thrown a party, asked Nessa out publicly. None of it made sense when I actually thought about it.

But every time I tried to think too hard, tried to remember the reasoning behind my decisions, the headaches got worse.

"Here." Nessa's hand was on my forehead. Cool and soothing. "Let me help."

The pain eased almost immediately. Her touch always made the headaches go away.

"Thanks."

"Of course. I hate seeing you in pain." She sat back down. "But Zayne, you need to accept that what you had with Arlina is over. She rejected you. The bond is severed. You're with me now."

"Right. I'm with you."

The words felt wrong in my mouth. Like I was reading from a script I hadn't memorized properly.

"Do you want to be with me?" Nessa asked.

Did I? I looked at her—beautiful, perfect, easy to be around. No complications, no trauma, no constant drama.

Everything Arlina wasn't.

"Yes," I said. "I want to be with you."

Another lie. Or was it? I couldn't tell anymore what I actually wanted versus what I was supposed to want.

"Good. Because I really like you, Zayne. And I think we could be great together." She smiled. "If you'd stop thinking about your ex-mate every five minutes."

"I'm not—"

"You are. You get this look on your face, like you're somewhere else. Somewhere I can't reach you." She squeezed my hand. "I know the rejection hurt. But you have to move on. For your own sake."

"You're right. I should move on."

But how? When every cell in my body was screaming that something was wrong, that I'd made a terrible mistake, that I needed to find Arlina and fix whatever I'd broken.

My wolf was restless too. Pacing inside my mind, whining, trying to tell me something I couldn't quite hear.

"Let's do something this weekend," Nessa said. "Get your mind off everything. Maybe drive up to the mountains, get away from campus for a bit."

"Okay."

"You don't sound excited."

"I am. Just—tired."

"You keep saying that." She studied my face. "Maybe you should see a doctor. These headaches aren't normal."

They weren't. But every time I considered seeing someone about them, Nessa would touch my forehead and they'd disappear. So what was the point?

My phone buzzed. Stefan.

“We need to talk. About Arlina.”

My stomach dropped. "I have to go."

"What? We just got here—"

"Stefan needs me. It's about Arlina."

Nessa's expression tightened. "Of course it is."

"I'm sorry. I'll call you later."

I left before she could argue, practically running to my car.

Stefan had texted an address. One of the empty classrooms in the science building.

He was waiting when I got there, his face grim.

"How bad?" I asked.

"Bad. She hasn't left her room in three days. Won't eat, won't sleep. Her powers are going haywire—she shattered every window in the house yesterday just by walking past them."

The guilt hit like a physical blow. "Is she—is she okay?"

"No, Zayne. She's not okay. Her mate publicly chose someone else and then she had to reject the bond to save herself. She's the opposite of okay."

"I need to see her—"

"She doesn't want to see you. I asked. Helen asked. She said your name and started crying so hard she couldn't breathe."

I sat down heavily. "What do I do?"

"I don't know. But we're worried she's going to hurt herself, either on purpose or by accident. The power surges are getting more violent."

"Can't Dad help? Or Patricia?"

"Patricia's trying. But without Arlina's wolf responding, there's not much she can do. And the severed bond is making everything worse."

I put my head in my hands. "This is my fault."

"Yeah, it is. What the hell were you thinking, asking Nessa out like that?"

"I don't know. I can't—when I try to remember why I did it, my head starts hurting."

Stefan's eyes narrowed. "Hurts how?"

"Like someone's driving nails into my skull. But then Nessa touches me and it goes away."

"Zayne, that's not normal—"

"I know it's not normal! Nothing about this is normal!" I stood up, pacing. "I don't understand what's happening. I love Arlina. I've always loved Arlina. But then Nessa showed up and suddenly I was spending all my time with her, thinking things I'd never normally think, and now I'm dating her and I don't even know why."

"You're dating her?"

"Apparently. We went out three times this week."

"And you want to be with her?"

"I—" I stopped. "I don't know. When I'm with her, it feels right. But when I'm not, when I think about Arlina, it feels like I made the worst mistake of my life."

Stefan was quiet for a long moment. "I think you need to see Patricia. Something's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me—"

"You just said you don't know why you're dating someone. That you can't remember why you asked her out. That thinking about it gives you headaches that only she can fix." He grabbed my shoulders. "That's compulsion, Zayne. Someone's messing with your head."

The words should have shocked me. Should have made me immediately suspicious.

Instead, I felt defensive. "Nessa wouldn't—"

"How do you know? You've known her for what, six weeks? And in that time, you went from devoted mate to asking her to be your girlfriend in front of everyone." Stefan's voice was hard. "That's not normal behavior. That's manipulation."

My head started pounding again. "Stop. You don't understand—"

"Then help me understand. Explain why you'd betray your mate for someone you barely know."

"I can't! I don't know why! I just—" The pain intensified. I pressed my hands to my temples. "Stop asking me. Please."

"This is what I'm talking about. Every time you question it, you get a headache. That's a classic sign of compulsion magic."

"You're wrong—"

"Am I? Because it looks like Nessa showed up, you started acting weird, and now Arlina's bond is broken and she's falling apart."

"That's not—it's not like that—"

"Then what is it like? Explain it to me in a way that makes sense."

I couldn't. Because nothing about this made sense.

"I need to go," I said.

"Zayne, wait—"

But I was already leaving, heading back to my car.

The headache was unbearable now. I pulled out my phone and called Nessa.

"Hey," she answered. "Miss me already?"

"Can you come over? I have a headache."

"Again? Zayne, maybe you should see a doctor—"

"Please. It really hurts."

"Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes."

She showed up in eight. The moment she touched my forehead, the pain vanished.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"You need to stop stressing about Arlina. It's making you sick."

"I know. You're right."

She settled onto the couch next to me. "What did Stefan want?"

"Just to talk. About pack stuff."

"Did he mention Arlina?"

"No," I lied.

Nessa smiled and pulled me against her. "Good. You need to focus on us now. On moving forward."

"Yeah. Moving forward."

But as I sat there with her, all I could think about was Arlina. Locked in her room, falling apart, suffering because of what I'd done.

And I couldn't even remember why I'd done it.