Chapter 108 108

Chapter 108 108
~ ARLINA~

Three days.

Three days since the rejection. Three days since the bond died. Three days since my wolf went silent.

"Arlina, you need to eat something."

Selene was at my door again, holding a plate of food I wouldn't touch.

"Not hungry."

"You haven't eaten in two days. You're going to make yourself sick—"

"I'm already sick. The food won't help."

She came in anyway, setting the plate on my nightstand. "At least drink some water."

I didn't move from where I was curled up on the bed.

The voices had quieted for now. But they'd be back. They always came back.

"Have you tried reaching your wolf again?" Selene asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"She won't answer."

"Maybe if you shifted—"

"I can't shift." The words came out flat. "I've tried. My wolf won't emerge. She's buried so deep inside I can barely feel her anymore."

Selene was quiet for a moment. "That's not normal."

"Nothing about this is normal. Mate bonds aren't supposed to break. Wolves aren't supposed to abandon their humans. But here we are."

"She hasn't abandoned you. She's just—"

"Hiding from the pain. I know. You keep saying that." I finally looked at her. "But what's the difference between hiding and leaving? Either way, she's not here. I can't reach her, can't shift, can't feel her. For all practical purposes, she's gone."

"She'll come back—"

"Why? What reason does she have to come back? Our mate rejected us. The bond is dead. There's nothing left to come back for."

Selene grabbed my hand. "There's you. You're the reason. She's your wolf, Arlina. She's part of you. She can't just leave permanently."

I wanted to believe that. But three days of silence said otherwise.

"My powers are going haywire," I said, changing the subject. "Last night I woke up and everything in my room was floating. This morning I accidentally shattered every glass in the kitchen just by walking through."

"You need to see—"

"No. I don't want to see anyone from the pack. They all watched Zayne choose Nessa. They all saw me break down." I pulled my hand free. "I can't face them."

"They're worried about you—"

"They're gossiping about me. There's a difference."

The lamp on my nightstand flickered. I looked at it and it exploded, glass raining down on the floor.

"See?" I said. "I can't control it anymore. Without the bond, without my wolf, the power has nothing to anchor to. It's just—loose. Dangerous."

Selene grabbed a towel and started cleaning up the glass. "We need to tell Edward. He can help—"

"He can't help. No one can help." I turned my face to the wall. "Just leave me alone, Selene. Please."

"Not happening. I'm staying right here."

"Why? What's the point?"

"The point is you're my best friend and you're falling apart and I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

"I am alone. That's the whole problem."

"You're not. I'm here. Your mom is here. Stefan, Tristan, half the pack is worried sick about you—"

"The bond is dead, Selene!" I sat up, my voice rising. "Do you understand what that means? A part of me is missing. Ripped out. Gone. And everyone keeps telling me it'll get better, that I'll heal, that time will help. But they're lying. You don't heal from this. You just learn to live with the wound."

The windows rattled. My power was spiking with my emotions.

Selene didn't flinch. "Then I'll help you learn to live with it. We'll figure it out together."

"I don't want to figure it out. I want it to stop hurting."

"I know." She pulled me into a hug. "I know it hurts. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry this happened to you."

I let her hold me because I didn't have the energy to push her away.

The voices would start again soon. They always did when I was tired, when my defenses were low.

And my wolf would stay silent, hiding somewhere I couldn't reach.

And my powers would keep breaking things because I couldn't control them anymore.

And somewhere on campus, Zayne was probably with Nessa. Happy. Moved on. While I fell apart alone in my room.

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"Yes you can."

"I can't. Everything hurts too much. The bond, my wolf, the voices—"

"What voices?"

I'd said too much. "Nothing. Forget it."

"Arlina, what voices?"

"The ones from The Order. They're back. In my head. Telling me things."

Selene pulled back, her face pale. "Since when?"

"Since the bond broke. They started that night and they haven't stopped."

"What are they saying?"

I shook my head. Couldn't repeat the things the voices whispered. How I was worthless, broken, unwanted. How I should embrace the pain, use it, let it make me powerful. How everyone would keep hurting me unless I hurt them first.

"We need to tell someone—"

"No. They'll think I'm crazy. Losing my mind from the broken bond."

"You're not crazy—"

"Then why am I hearing voices of dead people? Why can't I control my powers? Why won't my wolf talk to me?" I pulled away from her. "I'm falling apart, Selene. And I don't know how to stop it."

The door opened. Mom, carrying fresh sheets.

"I heard glass breaking—" She saw the shattered lamp. "Oh, baby."

"I didn't mean to. I just looked at it and it exploded."

"It's okay. We'll clean it up." She set down the sheets and started helping Selene with the glass. "Have you eaten?"

"She won't eat," Selene said. "Won't leave her room. Won't see anyone. And she's hearing voices from The Order."

Mom's head snapped up. "What?"

"I said that in confidence—"

"Arlina, are you hearing voices?" Mom came to the bed. "What are they saying?"

"It doesn't matter—"

"It matters. If Dr. Corvus did something to you during the experiments—"

"He's dead. They're all dead. The voices aren't real." I pulled the blanket over my head. "I'm just losing my mind. That's all."

"You're not losing your mind. But you are in crisis and you need help."

"I don't want help. I want everyone to leave me alone."

Selene and Mom exchanged looks.

"I'm not leaving," Selene said. "I'm staying right here until you're better."

"I'm not going to get better."

"Then I'm staying forever."

Despite everything, I felt a small flicker of warmth.

"Fine. Stay. But don't expect me to be good company."

"I don't expect anything except for you to keep breathing. That's the only requirement."