Chapter 9

Morning came and by the time I got up Mom was in the kitchen making breakfast so I joined her and I told her about Elliot's game when asking about my day yesterday. She was excited to hear that I wanted to stay after school to watch the volleyball game and led to her curiously asking when I’d like to visit dad again so I told her my plans for today. I wasn’t in a rush to visit my dad and I don’t think he is as well.

“Don’t you think you guys hang out a little too much?” she asked. “I know you said that you like him, but you see him almost everyday.”

“Hm, I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like it.” I tell her. “It’s not like we make each other uncomfortable.”

“I know. I was just curious if you hang out with any other kids at school,” she said.

I turn to her, “I do. I’ve actually been making more friends. Like, there’s this guy named Luis who is also part of the volleyball team. He’s a nice guy and he wants to teach me how to play as well. And I kind of want to learn a bit more actually.”

“Learn to play?” she asked me, confused. “So you were serious?”

“Yeah… And if he helps me then maybe I will be able to try-out next year…” I said, looking down.

Mom looked at me for a long second before leaning closer to me, “Wait, you mean, like, trying out for the team?”

“It’s only a thought.” I tell her.

“But you're thinking of it.” she said, trying to hide her smile. “Look, if you want to join a team then go for it and I would always be there to cheer you on. Should I have a pom-pom?”

“Mom, I won’t decide until next year.” I chuckled.

“I know. Sorry. I just never heard you want to do something like this.” she said and slowly started picking up her dishes.

“I’m still surprised myself…” I said as I got up to help her. “I’ll finish cleaning.”

“Okay,” she said and looked at me.

“What?”

“Nothing… It's just…” she mumbled before shaking her head. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

I watched her leave soon after I washed the rest of the dishes then put away anything that was left out on the table. I went back to my room once I was done and laid there playing on my phone passing the time until I had to get ready for this date. I began to clean my room after I got dressed because I was already nervous to go out and there was still an hour before Elliot came to pick me up. I sat there on my bed as I played around with the rubber band around my wrist and it felt like I haven’t done this in a while. I looked down at my wrist before taking a deep breath knowing that there wasn’t anything for me to be worried about. I made my way outside once it was time and made sure the door was locked behind me when I saw Elliot pulling up.

“Hey.” He said, smiling.

“Hi,” I said as I put on my seat belt after I got in.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m just curious about what we’ll be doing today.” I told him.

“It’ll be fine. It’s not like we’re doing anything extreme.” He said as he started driving and reached out to hold my hand.

I turned to look at our hands before nodding my head and it just felt like this was something I had to get used to. We spent the rest of the drive in silence until we finally came to the location that I have never gone to before and we drove to a long forest path to get here. After he parked I stepped out of the car and looked around seeing that we’re surrounded by mountain tops. I knew we lived so close to the beach, but I didn’t know there were also large hills close by and hiking trails.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“I used to go hiking around here when I was young. There is a place I want to take you. We’re not taking a long walk; I promise.” He said as he opened the trunk and grabbed a backpack.

“Not walking much, but you need a backpack?” I asked.

“Yeah, water, snacks, and just small things in case we need it.” He said as he locks his car and goes over to me. “It’s not that hot today so we shouldn’t worry too much about the sun.”

We started walking and I followed him. “I didn’t think hiking would be considered a first date,” I told him.

He shrugs his shoulders, “It just came to me this morning. Sorry I didn’t warn you.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said as I tried to be careful as we started going uphill. “I just don’t want to fall on my butt.”

Elliot smiled as he reached out to hold my hand. “Just be careful when stepping on the rocks. I don’t want you to twist your ankles either. That almost happened to me a few times.”

“Yeah, I’m going to fall.” I mumbled and I heard Elliot laugh.

We walked together side-by-side and I didn’t mind it because we were mostly alone during our trail. Elliot didn’t let go of my hand as people passed by and he was sharing stories about his time coming here when he was a kid; always playing around with his brother Jason. After an hour of walking, we paused to drink water and I can see the view from where we are; this mountain has a cliffside that overlooks the ocean so I’m guessing we’re a little further out from the pier. He said we weren’t too far from where we're going so we continued on walking and honestly I was getting tired. Maybe because I’m not used to this sort of exercise like he is, but it was nice that he took his time with me as we made our way slowly.

“We’re not that far from the pier.” Elliot informed me.

“Really? I was curious about that. How far?” I asked, curiously.

“Maybe forty minutes. But we have to go the opposite direction we came from and take a different street. That’s why you won’t recognize the area but this trail can lead to either the mountains or down the shoreline, but the trail to the shore is more dangerous.” He tells me as he leads me. “Luckily this trail is easier to go up compared to most trails in the area.”

“Is it going to be like this when we go back down?” I asked him.

“Um, hopefully not,” he said. “Sometimes it can be slippery when going downhill if you're wearing the wrong shoes.”

I turned to him, “I’m going to fall.”

He smiled, “Your not.” he reassured me.

I rolled my eyes, “Okay, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I hurt myself.”

We came to a two-way trail and Elliot led me to a path that seemed like we'd now entered a forest. I followed beside him as I’m looking around and a few times I did stop to look around to see what was around. We walked for another thirty minutes until we stopped and I was stunned at where we arrived. There was a waterfall right in front of us and people were actually swimming in while a few others were taking pictures before making their way out. I felt Elliot pull me to the side as he set his backpack down starting to go through it pulling out a few things. I sat down beside him taking a deep breath a little tired from the walk and I saw him laying out a blanket I almost wanted to laugh. “You were carrying that the whole time?”

“Yeah, a towel and snacks,” he said as he threw a few granola bars at me and moved to sit beside me. “I came prepared.”

“You know how far we walked to get here?” I said as I put some of the bars away and opened one to hand it to him. “I thought you were being a little too much on this first-date thing.”

“Is it?” He asked as he took a bite from the granola bar and stretched his legs out.

“Yeah.” I nod as I looked around and watched the few people who were here. “Who goes up here for a first date?”

Elliot didn’t say anything as he finished eating the bar. “Us, I guess."

I smiled, trying not to laugh. “I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, it just came to me and I thought: why not,” he said as he turned to me. “We can just chill here and refresh ourselves. Drip our toes or go swim. Just enjoy the view.”

“Alright,” I said as I grabbed another granola bar and ate it this time.

“So, can we talk about last night?”

“Yeah…” I said looking down at the bar.

“Well, you kissed me, but when I kissed you it seemed like you got scared,” he said as he was looking down and I couldn’t tell if he sounded nervous. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No… It’s not like that.” I said quickly and didn’t know how to explain it.

“If it means anything, I liked it. I thought about it all night and I think I kind of made it clear about my feelings towards you.” Elliot said as he was still looking down. “I don’t want us to rush or anything, but I hope I did make things clear on how I'm still trying to understand all this and my feelings as well.”

I glanced over at him, “I did get scared, but it wasn’t at you or from you kissing me… I just remembered something and it confused me like I didn’t know what to think for a second. I recalled something and I just became uncertain about things.”

“Like you had a flashback…”

I moved to lay down on the blanket and looked up at the sky. “Yeah,” I answered, shortly.

“How much more do I not know?” he asks me as he lay down beside me.

I sighed, “Not too much now.”

We were both quiet for a while and I could tell he was thinking about what I said so I moved to face him.

“You’re nothing like him.” I said, looking at him and felt like I needed to reassure him. “You haven’t done anything for me to be scared of or be scared by you.”

Elliot moved to face me. “You’ll tell me if I ever do?”

“Yes.”

We both looked at each other for a long second and I thought we were about to kiss when Elliot sat up. “Let’s get in the water,” he said as he pulled off his shirt. “It seems like there’s no one around now.”

I sat up and watched him, “I didn’t bring spare clothes.”

“It's okay. I brought an extra shirt for you in the backpack.” he said as he started taking off his shoes.

“Your car is going to be wet if we’re not dry.”

“That’s fine. I’ll clean it later.” He said before turning to me and smiled. “Are you scared to go in? Come on. I promise it’s safe.”

I shook my head, “It's not that… I just don’t know how to swim, remember?”

He turned to me and reached out to pull me up, “You're not doing to drown.”

“I know.” I mumbled.

“We don’t have to go in if you want. Let’s just dip our feet.”

“But you want to swim.” I said as I slowly started taking off my shoes.

“Then I’ll swim and you watch me.” He said with a shrug. “Just come with me.”

I followed him and I let my feet touch the water as Elliot went waist-high inside before turning to me. “I think we should teach you since your dad has a pool.”

I rolled my eyes. “Is that you inviting yourself over?”

“No, didn’t you invite me over?” He asked, smiling.

I smiled back, “I remember.”

Elliot finally went underwater and I watched him from where I sat by the edge. I started thinking back to when I first met Elliot barely two months ago and the school year is close to ending in three months. Maybe Elliot was right about me being different than who I was before when I started school and yet I still don’t see much of a difference in me. I looked at my hands as I reached out to touch the water and wondered when was the last time I'd been disgusted by someone touching me. Luis hugged me yesterday and I didn’t think much of it or Elliot when he held my hand. Maybe I’m not completely cured, but could I finally be better now that I don’t have to be afraid? Did I just not have to think about it when people reach out to me?

“Michael.”

I looked up and saw Elliot kneeling right in front of me.

“I was calling you.” He said.

“Sorry.” I said shaking my head a bit to clear my thoughts. “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“I don’t want to change…” I said slowly as I tried to find the words to say.

Elliot looked at me even more confused, “What do you mean?”

“I feel like I’ve already changed enough that I know what you mean when you say that I’m not the same.” I tried to explain. “I feel like I’ve gotten better because of you.”

“I think you still have more to grow.” he tells me as he was out of the water and moved to sit beside me.

“You think?” I asked.

“Yeah, but it’s nice to know that you believed that you’ve changed.” he said as he leaned closer towards me. “But I shouldn’t take the credit for it all.”

Elliot kissed me and I don’t know why but it took me by surprise, but at the same time he did say that he wanted to understand his feeling towards me. Was this his way to show that he was attracted towards me? He leaned over towards me so that I lay down and I could feel my clothes getting wet as the water was dripping off him. I knew that Elliot was kissing me and maybe because it’s been so long since I’ve had this sort of sensation that I felt my heart beating against my chest and my breath starting coming short.

No, this wasn’t the right feeling that I thought. It suddenly felt like that panic I had yesterday and when he didn’t pull away I reached my hands out lightly pushing him off me . He noticed my panic and moved back as he watched me. I felt my breathing become heavy like it was caught in my throat and for a second I wasn’t too sure what I was seeing as I closed my eyes. No, why am I feeling like this after the moment we just had together? Why am I ruining things again?

“Hey, breath.” He tells me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I just…”

I slowly moved to sit up and covered my mouth as I tried to take a deep breath. “It’s okay.” I said quietly. “You just surprised me.”

Elliot waited as he watched me trying to control my breathing and I hope he wasn’t blaming himself. “I won’t do that again…”

“It’s okay. It was mostly me...” I said calming down and I was starting to get cold from my clothes getting wet.

“Come on. We should go before it gets dark.” Elliot said getting up and handing me a towel while he puts on a dry shirt.

I watched him as he packed things and I wasn’t too sure if I was ready to leave just yet, but I nod as I finally was able to catch my breath. We put our shoes back on after then we started making our way back down the trail and there was that heavy silence between us. Elliot was quiet and I wasn’t too sure what to say because I’m starting to feel upset at myself. It was my fault that I had a panic attack when he kissed me, but it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong and I didn’t want him to think that. I also slipped twice while going down and I only saw Elliots back as he was in front of me the entire time. I can’t see what his expression was and I honestly felt so nervous hoping that he wasn’t angry.

I looked down for a second before reaching out to grab his hand almost falling down, “Don’t walk so fast.”

Elliot turned around to help catch me before I fell backwards and I can finally see his face. “Be careful.”

I slowly let go of his hand because he looked upset. “Sorry.”

Elliot sighed heavily and shook his head before turning to me. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to jump on you like that after what you said.”

I didn’t know what to say at first but I looked at him. “It’s fine.” I said in a small voice.

We stood there in silence until I turned to start walking again and I was being careful as we continued going downhill. It was quiet again between us and I didn’t know what to do. After another hour, I noticed that we were finally close to the parking lot and I think everything will end once we reach the parking lot. All that I’ve done has only ruined it and there wasn’t a way to fix it. I looked up to see him in front of me again and I felt my chest tighten as I thought of what I could say to him, but I felt like there was nothing that I could say to fix this mess that I created. I stopped walking and crouched down as I tried to breathe slowly.

Was this another panic attack or anxiety? I looked down as I tried to calm myself and it felt like my chest was growing heavy that I wasn’t sure if I could handle this right now. I was recalling his angry expression and the first kiss, but what I didn’t tell him was that I wasn’t seeing Elliot’s face. This was why I kept pushing him away and I couldn't tell him that. How can I even explain that to him or what will he think if I do? I felt a hand on my shoulder and I glanced up to see Elliot in front of me, but I looked away as I tried to focus on the ground instead.

“Take a deep breath.” he tells me. “Count to four and breath in then count to four again and breath out.”

I did so as I closed my eyes and I covered my face as I felt like I was close to tears. “I’m sorry.” I said as I still take deep breaths. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Don’t think about it right now.” He said as he moved to sit in front of me as he ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m here. Okay?”

I still have my face covered and I tried to focus on his hand running over the top of my head. “I can’t...”

“You can’t what?”

I didn’t answer him and take a deep breath.

“You can’t what Michael?” He asked again.

I realized what I said and looked up at him before moving to stand up. “Nothing.” I said shaking my head.

Elliot looked at me as I finally calmed down a bit and we were quiet for a second. “Are you sure that you're okay?”

I nod as I look down at the ground. “Yeah.” I said and wiped my face knowing that I probably did shed a few tears.

“Let’s just wait a bit before we get back to the car.” He said as he reached out to hold my hand.

I looked down as I thought about pulling my hand away but it felt warm feeling his touch and I think I was shaking a little.

“I didn’t mean to get upset. It was my fault and I shouldn’t have continued on like that without knowing if you were completely comfortable with it. I don’t mean to get carried away.” He tells me.

I didn’t know what to say so I stayed quiet. I was still trying to focus on my breathing while I tried not to get upset or upset him more from my reaction, but it was difficult.

“I’m so stupid.” I mumbled as I turned away from him.

“You're not. Why would you say that?”

“I am. How can I just say that I believed I was fine and have a panic attack right after. I was stupid to believe that I was fine when I’m not.” I tell him and I can hear my voice shaking. “I’ll never be fine. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it does. You have been trying and this will happen from time to time, but it’s only because you need time to heal.” Elliot said, reaching for my hand. “It doesn’t go away all at once.”

I pulled my hand away. “I need it to. I don’t want to stay like this.” I told him and I couldn’t help feeling a little mad. “I was stupid to confess to you when I can’t even control myself like this and let alone be with a partner. I don’t want to turn away from you everytime we kiss or when you want to hold me.”

“Michael. Just breathe and calm down first.” He told me and tried to reach a hand out again.

“Every time people touch me, all I can see is me in my room.” I said as my voice grew louder and I moved a bit away from him. “I can’t breathe. I can't move. I don’t want to feel anything because when I do I always get hurt in the end. And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of this pain. Why won't it just stop?”

Elliot was looking at me as he covered his mouth and he didn’t have anything to say. He reached out trying to pull me into his arms and I tried to move away, but we had a scuffle until I gave up and I just felt his arm wrapped around me. I ended up crying against his chest and I don’t know how long we sat there or cared if people saw us, but I just felt exhausted after saying all that to him. Mentally or physically… I’m not sure anymore. Maybe this was all that emotion that I’ve kept to myself and I never wanted to express.

“Please… please, don’t ever say you can’t.” Elliot said breaking the silence and moved his hands to cup around my face so I could look at him. “Every time I hear you say that I always feel like that’s your breaking point. Like that’s when you go somewhere that is hard to pull you back from. Just know that I worry because I care about you. It’s not of what you will do or what could happen, but because it’s you.”

I looked at him and I didn’t have a response to those words that he said. I don’t think he wanted a response either. We continued to stay in this spot for a while until we saw the sun setting and it was getting dark now. Elliot helped me up and we walked back to the car in silence as he held my hand. He waited a couple of minutes before he started driving and started heading back to town. I didn’t say anything as I sat there quietly looking out the window as I thought about what I had said and Elliot focused on his driving. It took a while but when we arrived at my house he parked and I started getting out of his car.

“You don’t have to walk me.” I tell him.

“I know. I’m gonna spend the night.” He said as he opened the trunk to grab his backpack again.

“I’m not gonna do anything if that’s what you're worried about.” I also tell him.

He looked at me, “I know, but I want to stay. Please? Just for tonight.”

I looked at him for a long second before I nodded, “Okay.”

We walked inside and it seemed like my mom wasn’t home yet so we made our way to my room and Elliot left his backpack by the door. I started picking up a few loose shirts that I left out from this morning and I didn’t know what to say to not make things awkward. I looked for the air mattress then made a space to put it by the end of my bed. Elliot looked around before moving to help me out and once we finished he looked over at me.

“Mind if I shower?”

I shook my head. “It’s fine.”

He went to the restroom taking the spare clothes he had with him and I reached for my phone to message my mom. I’m surprised that she’s not home yet but I didn’t think much of it as I moved to sit on my bed as I tried to collect my thoughts and I knew there was more to discuss about the recent event. After he came out a couple of minutes later, I took my turn to shower, but I think I might have taken a little longer than he did. I stood there in the shower just feeling the water falling on me and I tried to let myself just wash everything away. I just wanted to be clean.

“Are you feeling better?” Elliot asked when I came back to the room.

I nod as I moved to sit on my bed and I felt my hair dripping a bit as I looked down, unsure of what to say.

“You're going to get sick if you leave your hair wet.” Elliot said as he moved over to me and used the towel I had to dry my hair.

“I’m fine.” I tell him.

“Let me do this real fast.” He said as he continued to dry my hair then moved to sit beside me. “Done.”

I finally looked at him for a long second before moving to lay down and I just wanted to sleep now because I didn't know what to say to him. Elliot realized my silent treatment so he stood up and went over to turn off the lights before laying down on the air mattress. I pulled the covers over myself and buried my face into the pillow as I tried to take a deep breath uncertain how I would fall asleep after what happened. How did the day end like this? It was supposed to be a great day. I finally got to go on a real date and it was great because Elliot thought hard about what we can do, but the way the day ended was one that I want to forget. It felt like half an hour went by that I couldn’t sleep so I sat up and I wondered if he was still awake.

“Elliot?” I called out, quietly.

“Yeah?” He asked.

I thought about it before I got up and brought my covers with me. “Scoot over.” I told him as I moved to lay down beside him.

Elliot watched me as I walked over then made room as I laid down beside him and I kept myself wrapped in my own covers. I think this was why Elliot wanted to stay with me; I didn’t want to be alone. I can feel him wrapping his arms around me over the covers and I have my back to him. He didn’t say anything as we laid there quietly and I’m sure he was waiting for me to say something or for me to fall asleep instead. It actually didn’t take me long to feel sleepy as I laid there and it wasn’t comfortable compared to my bed honestly.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“Shh, I thought we were done arguing?” he whispered.

“I just wanted to say that.” I said, yawning.

“Well, don’t say it. Just go to sleep.” he retorts.

By morning, I woke up facing Elliot as he was still sleeping and I stared at him for a long minute before I slowly got up making sure that I didn’t wake him. I quietly made my way to the restroom to use it and afterwards went to the kitchen to get something to drink feeling a little dehydrated. I checked the time and it was barely eight so it seems like my mom is still asleep as well. I went back to my room to lay down and I think the movement of the air mattress woke him up.

“Go back to sleep.” I whispered.

“What are you doing?” He mumbled as he closed his eyes.

“I just went to drink some water.” I said as he moved his arms to hold me again.

“Okay.” He said quietly before falling back to sleep.

I watched him having that comfort feeling as he held me before I fell back to sleep and I think I don’t want to let him go today. Not yet.

By the time I woke up again, I got up to find Elliot talking to my mom in the living room and glanced at the time before walking over to join them. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but my mom was already having a fond conversation with him as they’re laughing and I felt like I was cutting in when they saw me.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” My mom said turning to me.

“Just some old stories about my brother and I. I haven’t told you, but he’ll be home next weekend for a break from school.” Elliot informs me.

“Your brother that’s in college?”

“Yeah, the next home game, he'll be coming by.” He said.

My mom watched us before getting up, “Well, I need a cup of coffee. You two want breakfast?”

“No, thank you. Michael and I have plans which we should be getting ready.” Elliot said as he stood up and grabbed my hand to take me back to my room.

“We didn’t make plans for today,” I said after he closed the door.

“I know, but we never finished our date.” He said as he started folding up the blankets.

I felt my face blushed. “We’re still going out?”

“Yeah… unless you don’t want to go anymore?” He asked, turning to me. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. We can just stay here. Do that movie and pizza thing that you wanted to do last time.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said as I moved to sit on my bed. “I just thought… with what happened yesterday you would rather just go home from here.”

Elliot put the blanket down and moved to sit beside me. “I think we still have a lot to learn to be with each other. If I do anything uncomfortable then tell me. Don’t hesitate. I know yesterday went a little bad on both of our parts, but we’re just going to give it time.”

I looked at him and nodded, “Okay.”

“When we were walking back to the car… I guess I was a bit frustrated with myself because I don’t always know what you're thinking so I act on what I feel like I have to do or be.” He continues. “I didn't mean to push you away because I thought you wouldn’t want me near you yesterday.”

I sighed as I leaned back against the headboard. “And about what I said…”

“Don’t. If you're going to give me an excuse about what you said then I’ll be mad. I think you said what you said because… you wanted someone to hear you.” He said cutting me off and I tugged a little at the bottom of my shirt. “You can’t take back what you said.”

I nodded my head as I looked back at him, “Okay.”

“Alright… now let’s get ready.” He said standing up before turning back to me. “You don’t happen to have a spare toothbrush, do you?”

I smiled. “Yeah,” I said getting up and going to the restroom to grab it. “Where exactly are we going this time?”

Elliot took the toothbrush and walked over to the bathroom sink. “Um, I don’t know.” He said as he started brushing his teeth.

“I thought you always had a plan.” I chuckled.

“I do and I’m thinking of one now.” He said.

I walked away to finish cleaning and went to the dresser to grab clean clothes when I paused for a second seeing the pills I had hidden away. I moved a shirt to cover them then I closed the dresser as I quickly changed out of my clothes before he came back to my room. I wasn’t too sure if I had a shirt for Elliot to wear when I glanced at the backpack that he’s been carrying everywhere. I turned to him when he returned to the room and I moved to my bed to sit down so I can put on my shoes.

“Do you need a clean shirt or something? I don’t think my shirt would fit you though…” I asked him.

Elliot is bigger compared to me and I meant that he’s far more built from playing sports and has a broad shoulder; obviously in a better shape while I was mostly skinny and possibly a little small.

“It’s fine. I had a few pairs of clothes in my trunk when I went to the laundromat with my mom a couple of days ago so I grabbed that when we got here last night and the spare shirt I have is still clean.” He tells me as he goes through his backpack.

“Okay,” I said.

“So, how hungry are you? Scale of one to ten.” He asked me.

“Um, like a four,” I tell him.

“What? How are you not hungry? We ate granola bars and we didn’t eat before going to bed. We hiked and climbed a mountain.” He said in shock.

I smiled shyly. “I don’t eat a lot so I’m used to it. We can go to eat if you're hungry.”

Elliot sighed as if he was still in disbelief. “Okay.”

I smiled, “I only said I wasn’t hungry and you're that upset.”

“Well, I was thinking we can have breakfast at that cafe that’s one the pier we went to.” He said as he put on his backpack. “And wander around there while I think of what else we can do.”

“Then let’s do that,” I said, getting up and leading him out of my room.

“But you're not hungry.”

“And? You're hungry. I’ll just have something light.” I said.

“Don’t just drink juice.”

I looked at him, confused. “I wasn’t going to just drink juice.”

He gave me this look like he doesn’t believe me.

“I wasn’t.”

“Right. Well, come one,” he said as we started walking to his car and I got in when he unlocked his car.

I put on my seat belt as he started driving towards the pier.

“So, after what you said yesterday… How you have feelings towards me…” I started saying but wasn’t sure how to ask him.

“Yeah?” He said as if he can tell I was struggling with my words.

“Nevermind,” I said, changing my mind feeling embarrassed now.

“No, ask.” he pleaded.

“You know what I’m asking,” I said turning away.

“How would I know?” He teased.

“Shut up,” I said.

“Okay, okay. Fine,” he said, smiling. “Yes, I confessed my feelings yesterday. You confessed first and now it was my turn. It’s like, how you kissed me first and I kiss back right after I kind of see a pattern here.”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and I shook my head. “Why do you say things like that when I’m trying to be serious here.”

“Sorry. Okay, continue on.” he said seeing my timid expression.

I took a deep breath as I tried to finish what I wanted to ask. “So, does that make us official?”

Elliot was quiet for a second before glancing over at me. “Yeah, I think so.”