Chapter 13

By morning, I woke up early, starting to get myself ready before Elliot came by to pick me up and make sure that I put my phone on charge remembering that I was on the phone when I fell asleep. I made sure that I took another pill only because I did have a stuffy nose when I was getting dressed and I was hoping that I would be better by the end of the day. Once I got Elliot’s text I started making my way outside and when he parked he stepped out of the car to meet up with me. I was about to say something when he reached out to hug me holding me in his arms. It felt warm like how it felt from last night and I wrapped my arms around him hugging him back.

“Morning,” I said.

“Morning… Seems like you're looking better,” he said as he checks me out. “You looked pale yesterday.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, glancing down.

“You were sick so don’t apologize,” he said as he led me to the car. “Come on, let’s go have breakfast.”

“Where are we going to eat?” I ask.

“Well, we have enough time to eat at a restaurant or we can just take it to go… What would you prefer?” he asks me before he starts driving.

I thought about it for a bit, “I think to go…” I answered.

“Alright,” he said and we went to a McDonald’s drive-thru; which was faster for us to buy and take with us to the school.

“So, how would I know where your brother will be sitting at the game?” I asked him as we waited in line.

“Um, I’ll take you to him before the match starts. You usually get there when the VJ team match ends,” he said.

I nod as I looked down and thought about it. “I’m sorry if this ruins any plans you have with him,” I said.

“You're not ruining any plans. My plans just changed to something a little better,” he said as he reached out to hold my hand. “I get to be with you for two whole days.”

I turned to him and I took a deep breath, “Do you want to go out like you wanted to the other day?” I ask him.

“Do you want to?” He asked in return.

I nod, “I do.” I answered. “I want to make up for not going out with you.”

Elliot didn’t say anything as he drove forward to pay before turning back to me. “Okay, then we can do that tomorrow,” he said.

“Okay,” I said as I watched him drive forward to pick up the food and started making our way to school now.

Once at school, he parked in the many empty spots since we were here early and we unbuckled ourselves to feel comfortable as we opened the bag to separate the things we ordered. Elliot got himself two sandwiches while I had one, he also got me oatmeal in case it wasn’t enough and a hashbrown each. I shifted in my seat to face him while I ate and he turned on the radio so we can have something to listen to. I ate quietly actually feeling hungry today and I can see Elliot was watching me; maybe he was curious about my appetite since I skipped so many meals for a couple of days.

“Don’t be so cautious… It shows.” I tell him.

He blushed as he turned away to continue eating. “Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine… It's my fault that I made you worry.” I told him.

Elliot turned back to smile at me. “I’m your boyfriend. I always worry and care about you,” he tells me.

I felt my face grow warm hearing him and I looked up at him as I took a sip of my drink trying to show that his words didn’t affect me when it did. It was that shy feeling, like when the fairy-tale stories call it taking your breath away because it did and I didn’t know how to respond back to that. Elliot continued eating as if he wasn’t expecting a response from me and I reached for the oatmeal to distract me now that I finished my sandwich. We were quiet for a while eating and a few times I would glance over at him as I still couldn’t get his words out of my head.

“See, this is what I mean when I said that you get people's attention. The things you say…” I said, growing tired of the silence.

Elliot laughed as he took a sip of his cup of coffee. “It’s the truth,” he tells me.

I pressed my lips together almost lost in my thoughts about what he said and looked up at him. “I wish I met you first…” I tell him. “You are nothing like him… You’re so much better.”

Elliot looked back at me as he listened and he smiled softly as he leaned over to me. “Come closer,” he tells me.

I blushed, “People are starting to come.”

“I’ll make it quick so no one will see,” he said, smiling. “Please?”

I looked at him before leaning towards him and he kissed me quickly as he said then pulled away.

“That’s fine?” he asks me.

I nod as I look down knowing that my face could be red.

He smiled as he started cleaning up and I finished my oatmeal before throwing it away in the bag before he could throw it out. We had a good twenty minutes left before the first bell so we got out of the car to take the trash out and we slowly made our way towards our classroom. It was quiet between us as we made our way to the second floor, but it was comforting feeling like it was okay that we didn’t have much to say to each other during our walk and we stood outside the front door seeing it open before turning back to Elliot. I was remembering our first meeting and it’s almost three months now and I wouldn’t have thought things would turn out like this for me.

“I didn’t expect us to be together after what happened,” I told him.

Elliot turned to me and was confused for a second before he chuckled. “Who knew…” he responded back. “So much has changed since that day. You’ve changed.”

“Have I?” I asked as I thought about it. “Sometimes I feel like I haven’t. I feel like I’ve caused more damage than anything.”

Elliot nodded, “You’ve changed so much. You have friends, you're letting people hold you, hug you, and you're going out to places trying new things.” he tells me. “I can tell you haven’t let anyone near you for so long.”

I thought about it looking down at the ground. “I was scared that everything would happen again. It was safer to push everyone away.”

Elliot moved closer to me as I was leaning against the lockers and he reached out to hold my hand. “And now?” he asks.

I looked up at him, “I’m scared…” I paused as I thought about it for a second. “I’m scared that I’ll lose what I have now.”

Elliot was about to lean in to kiss me when the bell rang and it took us by surprise that he pulled away. “Come on, let’s go inside,” he said as he leads me towards the door.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I walked inside the classroom while Elliot went to his seat that was near the teacher's desk. We nearly kissed and I wanted him to. I sat at my desk when Jennifer leaned closer to my desk and saw my expression.

“Oh, he smiles!” She said, getting my attention. “Finally you’re no longer in zombie mode.”

I paused for a second before facing her and Karen who was leaning over her desk to see us. “Yeah, I’m sorry about how I have been the past few days…” I said.

“Feeling better now?” Karen asked.

I nod, “Yeah.” I answered. “Sorry about the way I’ve been acting… I didn’t mean to push you guys away.”

“It’s okay,” Karen said with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Michael. We knew that you weren’t feeling well.” Jennifer said. “If you ever want to talk about it we’re here for you.”

I nod. “Thank you,” I said.

Class started, distracting us with our assignment and I realized that the school year is almost coming to an end which means summer vacation. I was a little lost in thought as I finished the worksheet and I wanted to talk with Luis hoping that he would be understanding with the way I’ve been behaving. I glanced over at Elliot as he was talking with the teacher then I looked away to finish my work before the bell rings and I waited for Elliot walking halfway to our next class then agreed to meet during lunch by the library. During my second period, I was focusing on my work, but with this new thought, it was a bit distracting having I wonder if it’s too soon to tell Luis more about my condition.

But I wonder if we know each other long enough that I can be confident to tell him about my past or more about why I am the way I am and I paused for a second taking a deep breath knowing that it’s just my thoughts giving me these doubtful feelings. I went back to my work until the bell rang and I gathered my things to step out of the classroom. Making my way downstairs, I stood by the door to the library feeling like I had to keep my distance from everyone that was passing by until I saw Elliot walking over to me.

“Hey.”

“Hey, are you hungry?” He asked me.

I shook my head. “No, not really.”

Elliot didn’t say anything before nodding. “Let’s grab something from the student store then walk around the track field.”

I agreed to this plan walking over to the school student store where we can purchase any brand type of snacks that are available to choose from and it was also where we can easily buy simple school supplies for the students if needed. I looked over at what they had while we waited in line and I ended up buying a water bottle and a small brownie. Elliot got himself a juice bottle and two chocolate bars then made our way to the football field. We started walking on the track line while we watched a few people playing around and I saw a couple of students relaxing at the bleachers. These weren’t the healthiest snacks but I slowly ate the brownie as we walked.

“So how’s your cold?” He asks me.

“Okay. I felt a little sick when I woke up, but I feel better now.” I said.

“That’s good.” He said looking over at me. “If you feel sick again tell me. I can always get you medicine if you need it.”

“Okay, but I’m better now. Promise.” I said, smiling for a second before I turned to him. “Hey… is it okay if I tell Luis about some things about me?”

Elliot came to a stop and looked over at me. “About your past?”

I nod my head as I try to explain. “No, not everything, but I want to be good friends with him and I feel like I have to open up if I want that to happen.”

“If you feel comfortable enough to tell him then that’s up to you, but you don’t need my permission about this and you honestly just need to be yourself if you want to make friends.” He said as he reached a hand out to put on my shoulders. “If you want to tell him then I’ll be proud of you because you're trying to be comfortable with yourself and share more. I know it was hard being open with me but if you take your time telling Luis or anyone else then it will work out fine for you.”

I looked at him and reached out to wrap my arms around him. “Thank you,” I said, quietly.

“You don’t have to thank me all the time.”

“I know, but you being here and saying that made me feel better.” I said.

We held each other before I let go of him knowing that people can see us and at this point I didn’t mind being seen, but it’s different for Elliot who isn’t ready to come out yet or maybe he isn’t saying it out loud like I am. I glanced over at him as we continued walking and after a while we started making our way back inside once lunch was ending.

“Can Monday… Can Monday we try again and meet Jennifer's friends?” I asked him.

“If you want to do that.” He answered. “I don’t know who her friends are, but maybe I might already know them since I’ve seen her around a few times when I hung out with her brother.”

I nod, “Okay, maybe that would be easier if you also know them too or if not then it's good that you don’t know them either.”

He chuckled, “Even if I don’t know them, we can all get to know them slowly.”

The bell rang and I turned to him. “Okay. I’ll see you at the game.”

“I’ll see you later.” He said before he turned to leave for his class.

We parted ways as we went to our next class and I made my way up to the second floor for my science class. I was about to reach for the door when I was pushed against the door, taking me by surprise, and I turned around seeing David right behind me. I felt myself hold my breath as I watched him laughing while his friends approached up and I felt my backpack slipped off my shoulder hiding the ground.

“Watch it, girly.” He said as he walked past me.

I froze for a second before Alex came by to help me grab the backpack, “You want to report him to the teacher?”

I shook my head, “No… he hasn’t bothered me for a while now.”

We made our way inside the classroom taking our usual seats together while taking out my notebook. I took a glance at David and remembered what he said when he last approached me. He mentioned my old school, but how? Did someone tell him or does he know someone from before? I looked down at my worksheet and I know there is no way I can approach him about it. He would probably tease me more about it and walk away or if he does know something will he say it out loud? He would approach me more if I ask him and I don’t want that to happen.

I don’t want to be bothered and he’s kept his distance for a while so I don’t want to ruin that. With everything that has been going on, I don’t want another excuse to cause more drama and I don’t think I want to know more than I do now. After a while the bell rang to end class and I made my way to my gym class with Alex as we talked about the worksheet. When approaching the locker room I saw Elliot so I walked over to him before he could leave to join his team mates.

“Hey.” I said.

“Hi,” he said, turning to me.

“I just want to say good luck on your game today.” I tell him. “I hope your team wins.”

He smiled, “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”

I watched him leave before making my way inside the locker room to change then walked over to the basketball court where my class is meeting and Jennifer was talking with her friends. The teacher conducted a few exercises for us after doing roll-call and ran a lap before letting us go to the football field to play soccer. I was debating what to do as I was catching my breath from running and I looked over at everyone that was playing on the field.

“Michael!” Jennifer called me from the other side of the field.

I saw her with two new people who I’ve never met and I paused for a second before making my way over. “Hey,” I said.

“I want to introduce you to some of my friends. This is Brian and Fernando.” she said. “These are the people I wanted to introduce you during lunch. Alex and Karen will be here in a bit. They went to the restroom.”

“Oh… Um, hi.” I said as I tried to not be nervous.

“Hey,” the one name Brian said as he reached out to shake my hand. “It's good meeting you.”

“Same.” I said as I shook his hand back.

“And I’m Fernando. It’s good seeing you finally.” The other guy said and I gave a shy smile back as I didn’t know what to say.

“Brian and Fernando have known each other since elementary and everyone else has known them since middle school.” She explained as we started walking around the track.

“Well, we all had the same class together for so many years and we just got used to each other so we hang out when we have a chance,” Fernando said.

I thought about this, “I have never seen you guys hang out before during P.E.” I said.

“Well, sometimes our teacher doesn't let us leave our class, but we have a substitute today so we just left.” Brian answered.

“And it seemed fair to take the chance to hang out now since we haven’t seen you during lunch.” Alex said as she and Karen walked over to us.

I turn to see the girls walking beside me now. “Sorry about that…” I mumbled.

“It's okay. They said you’ve been sick so don’t worry about that.” Fernando said, glancing over at me.

I didn’t know what to say.

“Well, it’s fine because you’re finally meeting them now,” Jennifer said as she wrapped her arms around mine and gave me a soft smile. “You have time to come hang out with us when you want to.”

“Usually Friday’s we go out if you ever want to join us.” Alex said. “Like tonight we’re going to the movies and at the mall where they have the arcade with a karaoke spot that we’re going to rent out.”

I shook my head, “I’m going to be hanging out with Elliot tonight. He has a volleyball game and I’m going to hang out with him and his brother.” I tell them.

“Oh, Jason is in town?” Jennifer said.

“Is that his name?” I said before shrugging my shoulders. “Um, yeah, he is. He wants to introduce me to him.”

“You make it sound like he’s introducing you to his family like a date.” Brian said, chuckling.

I smiled shyly, “No, we’re just close.”

“They are. They're glued together.” Karen said. “Well, you're always invited next time we have plans. It’s not every weekend, but when we have a chance we do go out together.”

“How about next week you guys come over to my place. We’ll have drinks and we’ll play games. Also the pool will be cleaned so you guys can go swimming.” Fernando said.

“Oh, that’ll be awesome.”

“I’m down.”

I looked away trying to figure out how to respond to their invitation. “Alright. I’ll see if I can go.”

“It’ll be cool if you can go.” The girls were telling me and I heard one of them say. "You should also invite Elliot if you want to."

"Um, I'll ask him." I said.

I glanced over at them then I took a deep breath as I thought about this. It's been so long since I’ve gone to a hang out and I wondered how it’ll be if it's with them. How different are they from the people that I’ve seen at parties? I looked down at the ground knowing that they are a different type of people then the ones I used to hang out with and they don’t seem reckless as the type of friends Chris hangs out with.

“How about Luis?” Karen said as she nudged at Jennifer. “You would love that.”

“Oh, no, I doubt he would come…” Jennifer said as she blushed.

“Luis? That guy from the volleyball team too?” Brian asked. “He seems a bit weird.”

“You hardly even know him,” Fernando tells Jennifer.

“Luis is a nice person. You just need to get to know him better.” I cut in. “He taught me to play volleyball and he didn’t have to do that.”

“See, if Michael says he’s a good person then you guys better give him a chance,” Jennifer said and glanced over giving me a soft smile.

We continued walking as they changed the conversation and it was nice just listening in while we continued our walk until class was over. Brian’s locker was actually close to mine and he tried to have a conversation with me while we changed. He’s very social compared to me, his hard expression seemed like he would be hard to approach and yet he was trying to get to know me. He was asking about what classes I have and how school was going for me since they told him that I am a transfer student. The only thing that made me pause on answering was when he asked why I transferred out and I thought about it before answering.

“My mom got a promotion. They offered her a position to get health insurance and just a better pay.” I answered as we made our way outside and I saw Fernando walking over towards us.

“Is this your first time transferring? I’m sure it's hard changing schools.” Fernando asked, already overhearing our conversation.

I looked down, “Um, no, this is maybe my third transfer in total. I transferred in middle school and twice for high school.” I answered.

“Well, hopefully, it’s been better coming here,” Brian said as he nudged Fernando. “We shouldn’t be bothering you with so many questions.”

It got a bit awkward before I turned to them. “Well, I gotta go. I promised Elliot I’ll see him before his match starts.” I said as I slowly started walking away.

“Alright. See you next week.” Fernando said as he and Brian started walking away as well.

I made my way inside the gymnasium and looked around seeing the bleachers half pack so I walked to a side that was empty. The junior varsity team was still playing and I saw Luis on the court with the score two points behind. I put my backpack down beside me as I watched for a couple of minutes when I heard movement beside me and seeing Elliot coming over to sit beside me. I smiled wanting to tell him about meeting Jennifer’s friends, but I’m going to leave out about David bumping into me. I didn’t want there to be another fight.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be with your team warming up?” I asked.

“It’s fine. The game won’t end for another half hour,” he said as he looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he said, turning away and pointed out behind me. “My brother is over there, but I think I’ll introduce you to him afterward. I’m sure it’ll be awkward sitting beside him since you don’t know him.”

I put my hands together as I nod. “Okay.”

“Are you okay?” He asked. “You don’t have to be nervous about meeting him.”

“I know… I’m not that nervous about meeting him… It's just that Jennifer introduced me to her friends earlier in gym class and I guess I’m still feeling shy from hanging out with them.” I tell him.

“Really? The ones we were supposed to meet during lunch?” he asked.

I nod, “Yeah, they called me over and introduced me to them. I was a bit surprised.” I tell him.

“And how are they?” He asked as he looked at me.

“They seemed…okay, but I don't know them like she does and I didn’t know how to join in their conversation.” I answered, turning to look at him. “They want to hang out next weekend and they want you to come.”

Elliot looked confused for a second before he shrugged his shoulders. “Well, if you want to go then I’ll go with you, but I should still meet them first before all that,” he said.

“I know. I wasn’t too sure about it either, but we can see later on.” I replied and looked at the game. “I think I’m just nervous because I already got myself comfortable with you and Jennifer and I’m still trying to get to know Luis. I’m not used to talking to people so casually and it feels like I forgot how to hold conversations or how I should behave around them. Talking with people still makes me nervous.”

“It’s not a bad thing if it makes you uncomfortable because you are still adjusting and socializing is always hard,” he tells me. “I have a hard time talking with people sometimes.”

“You do?” I asked as I turned back to him.

“I might not always show it, but sometimes it’s hard to ask for help or when I’m confused I sometimes panic,” he said and shrugs his shoulders. “Sometimes I don’t want people to know my problems.”

I said, “You don’t tell me when you have problems…”

“I don’t have too many problems to talk about, but I’ll tell you when I do.” he says.

“You will?” I asked him.

He nods, “I promise, but honestly, most of my problems usually go away when I’m with you.” he tells me. “Sometimes it feels like my problems don't matter.”

I thought about this for a bit as I looked down. “I think I’ve learned enough from you that any problems matter. I know my problems can be too much, but I mean it when I say that you can tell me yours.”

He smiled, “Now it’s your turn to lecture me?”

“Yeah, it is,” I said, smiling. “I think I can share a few words too.”

Elliot chuckled, “Alright. I’ll be waiting until I need to hear them.”.

I was about to say something when we heard a whistle blow and we turned to watch the game before Elliot stood up. “The game is almost over?”

“Yeah. I have to go back,” he said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Have fun,” I said as I watched him leave and I turned to watch the game.

It took me a while to find Luis who was on the bench for a while before he went to the court and the game went on for another twenty minutes. It was nice being able to watch the game, understanding more of the things that they tried to teach me, and be distracted until it was over. Luis's team lost by one point, but he did most of the scoring points he was on the court and I watched as they started cleaning up for the variety to play next. I looked over my shoulder to see if I could get a glimpse at Elliot’s brother, Jason, and I know that he has no relations by blood, but Elliot was praising him as if he were. I didn’t know what I would say to him when I met him and it was good that he wasn’t sitting with me because I wouldn’t even know what I could say to him.

“Hey, Michael!”

I turned hearing my name and smiled seeing Luis coming over to sit beside me, “Hey.”

“It’s good seeing you here. We haven’t talked for a while.” he said.

“I know. I was sick so I was keeping my distance from everyone.” I told him as I looked down. “Sorry about that.”

“It's fine. Considering your condition I would assume you might not have much of a good day,” he said as he turned to me. “I did some research, you know, hoping that I can have some understanding of it.”

I turned back to him as I tried to figure out what to say, “You did?”

“Well, I was curious because I never knew what haphephobia meant and I was hoping that we could hang out more so I looked it up.” He tells me. “I thought it should be fair.”

I thought about this for a second before taking a small breath. “It’s not just about haphephobia… I also have depression and anxiety,” I tell him. “I think the touch is what triggers it and it makes me panic. I’m sure when you looked it up you read that this could be caused by a traumatized past.”

Luis glanced over at me. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He said as we watch the varsity now warming up before the game starts. “I did read that, but I was never going to bug you about the details.”

“I actually want to tell you a few things because you seemed like a good friend and you tried to encourage me to practice with you. I haven’t had a friend like that who wants to hang out with me and it’s been just something that I’m not used to,” I tell him and lean back a bit trying to figure out what to say next.

Luis took a deep breath, “So then what do you want to tell me?”

“I had a boyfriend for a year and a half ago that ended up taking advantage of me. I became depressed about it and attempted suicide when I was about fifteen.” I said as I looked down, running my hand over my neck, feeling nervous saying this outloud and it wasn’t the same as telling it to Elliot at the beach.

“Fuck.” Luis mumbled.

“It messed me up and made me who I am now,” I said, not wanting to see his expression. “I have, what you call, episodes which are when I am in a depression state or panic attacks that are hard for me to control myself. So touching or being touched can cause that too.”

Luis didn’t say anything for a second until he sighed, “My mom always says that when bad things happen it’s not your fault.” he finally said. “So, I’ll pass that message to you.”

I almost smiled as I turned to him and he looked back. “Also, Elliot is my boyfriend,’’ I added in.

Luis’s face slowly changed to surprise as he turned to see Elliot on the court before turning to me, “What?” he said, surprised. “I didn’t think he was...”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I was surprised too because I confessed knowing that he’s straight,” I tell him. “I wasn’t expecting a response and I didn’t think you’ll be more surprised by that news than what we just talked about.”

“You confessed first?” He asked.

I nodded as I pressed my lips together. “Yeah,” I said and glanced at him for a second feeling shy again. “Is it too much? I haven’t told anyone all this besides Elliot.”

“It’s not like it’s too much… I mean, it is because you’ve obviously been traumatized by so many things,” he said. "It's something I don't know too much about. Also, you and Elliot surprised me, but then you two are always together so now that kind of explained it."

“It's okay if you don’t understand it all, but I only wanted to tell you because I feel like I can trust you as a friend.” I said, feeling thankful that Luis was able to accept this part of me.

Luis nudged me. “You’re a cool person Michael, so don’t worry about it,” he tells me.

I chuckled, “I’ve never been called cool before. I think that’s a little too much to be called that.”

“You can be cooler once you’re on the court with me next year,” he tells me.

I laughed, “You do know you lost today right?”

“Oh, come on, it was just one match. We can win the next one with a little more practice,” he said rolling his eyes. “Besides, you need to come by again and get you to join in with us.”

“I know. I will. Maybe next week I can stop by.” I said, thoughtfully.

“You better or I’m gonna be bothering you,” he tells me.

I smiled as I see that the game is starting now and I turn back to Luis, “Hey, do you usually go to house parties or kickbacks?” I asked him.

“Hm, sometimes I do. I mean, sometimes I go over with friends to hang out or we go out to some kick backs that our friends have,” he answers me.

“Do you drink?” I ask.

He didn’t answer right away and shrugged, “Yeah, sometimes. I mean, it's a hang out with friends so we are all relaxed having one or two, but it's not like I get wasted on purpose.” he tells me. “This sounds like I’m being interrogated by my mom.”

I blushed and looked away, “Sorry… I’m just curious.”

“It’s fine, but why do you ask?”

“I was invited to hang out with friends and I haven’t done that in a long time… I don’t know how to even be around people sometimes.” I tell him. “I’ve gone out with Elliot, but I get a panic attack sometimes because of the crowds and I’m scared that that would happen when I’m out with my friends.”

Luis was quiet, possibly thinking about what I said, and he turned to me. “Well, isn’t it about who you hang out with? You shouldn’t be having these attacks if it's people you are comfortable with, right?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “The hangouts that I’ve gone to weren’t with people that I call friends. So I never went out with friends like this before. I’ve gotten comfortable with a few, but there is more joining us that I just met."

“Well, then, maybe you should try hanging out with these new friends of yours and see how it goes,” he said. “You have to be completely comfortable if you want to hang out with them outside of school.”

I turn to him, “Do you ever have problems like that? Just going out with friends.”

“Oh, yeah, I think everyone deals with it at some point in their life. Everyone has to talk with each other whether it's in school or at the market or the mall,” he tells me. “This isn’t something you can easily get away from. I’m just more used to it because I prefer being out there and approaching people because it’s the people I want to talk to.”

I thought about this. “I’m not used to that… I haven’t gone out to the mall to shop or go to the stores alone…” I say. “I haven’t brought myself to do any of that aside when I’m out with Elliot and he does it for me. It's all difficult trying to hang out with friends and going out with them. I try not to stress out about it, but it does.”

“Maybe you should do things yourself when you're out with him,” Luis tells me. “It can be easier because you're not alone and he will for sure help you if you can’t do it.”

“We went out to the mall the other day and he took me to play at the arcade but I just got overwhelmed that I couldn’t be there.” I said as I remember that day. “We weren’t even there for a long time and I hate it that we can’t go out too often.”

“Then go somewhere else that’s less crowded and try again.”

I smiled, “That’s what Elliot does.”

“How long have you guys been together?” He asked. “I’m still surprised by that.”

“Um, it’s recent. Maybe at most a month and a half? I haven’t honestly been keeping count because we were still working things out between us.” I told him and turned to look at Elliot who was on the court playing. “We’re still taking our time as a couple because he hasn’t come out to anyone yet and we are still trying to learn to be together with my condition.”

Luis nodded, “That all sounds reasonable…” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck before turning to me. “It seems like it’s all been good for you then?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes I’m still surprised that he’s with me after everything that happened; both considering my past history and with my illness. I’m happy.”

Luis wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, “Ew, I don’t want to hear that while I’m single.” he said as he scruffles my hair.

I laughed, “Okay.”

I fixed my hair as Luis kept his arms around my shoulder. “Well, I don’t know much about relationships, especially with a guy, but if you need advice or any help let me know.” He tells me. “Okay?”

I nod. “Alright,” I said and glanced over at him. “Hey speaking of you being single…”

“Yeah?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s not something for me to get involved with… but do you like Jennifer?” I asked.

I can see Luis blush a bit, “Well, I like her and she’s cute, but I don’t know her that well.” He tells me. “We never had a chance to, like, hang out together. I only know her because we had classes together a few times in the beginning of high school.”

I thought about this. “Would you want to?”

“What? Hang out with her?” He asked.

I nod, “Yeah, if there’s a chance, would you want to join us?”

He didn’t say anything for a second before he shrugs his shoulders. “I guess, if I were to have a chance.” He answered. “But, honestly, I’m not good at talking to girls. I doubt she’ll like me.”

I smiled, “I doubt that.” I said as I turned back to the court to continue watching the game.

“What?”

“I think she likes you too,” I tell him and I hope I’m not giving too much away that would make it difficult for both of them. “Maybe you should talk to her more.”

Luis turns to me, a little confused, “You're not messing with me, right?”

I turned back to him. “I wouldn’t.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t be offended by trying to pair them together. “I’m not trying to put you two together if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay, Michael. I’m just surprised.” He said, trying to reassure me. “And maybe I will. I don’t know if I want to go on dates right now since I’m busy with practice and the games…”

“But that shouldn’t stop you from getting to know her. Maybe see her more once we’re on summer vacation.” I said noticing Elliot glancing over at me and I smiled.

“Ah, you guys are like love-puppies.” Luis commented.

I chuckled and pressed my lip together, “I just really… I don’t know… I feel grateful…” I mumbled.

Luis sighed as he reached out to ruffle my hair, “I get it.”

“I’m not a puppy,” I said, fixing my hair again.

“Hm, maybe.” He answered shortly.

I shook my head when we heard the whistle signaling the end of the first match and they began to switch court for the second. “Would you come to the hangout if I go?” I asked Luis. “I mean if you don’t mind coming along with Elliot and I.”

Luis didn’t say anything before shrugging his shoulder, “Who else will be there?” He asked.

“It’s going to be at a friends house; the ones that I just met. So… Jennifer, Alex, Karen, Fernando, and Brian.” I listened. “As far as I’m aware, it’s only them.”

Luis didn’t say anything for a while as we watched the match begin before turning to me. “I kind of know Fernando and Karen, but it’s not like we’re friends,” he said.

I nod, “You don’t have to come.” I tell him, feeling nervous now that I brought it up. “It’s okay.”

“I’ll think about it and let you know.” he finally answers.

I nod my head again. “Okay.”

We were quiet for a while as we continued to watch the game and it ended a lot faster compared to Luis’s match. Elliot’s varsity team won the game and Luis had to leave to regroup with his teams to help clean the court. I watched him leave as I sat there quietly wondering if I should go outside to wait for him or just stand near the front door of the gym until they tell me I can’t be here anymore. I was about to get up when I saw Elliot’s brother walking over towards me and I slowly moved to sit down feeling shy if he was coming to introduce himself. He wouldn’t come towards me without Elliot, right?

“Hi,” I heard from beside me and I glanced over seeing Jason.

“Oh, Jason, right? Elliot’s brother?” I said as I stood up quickly reaching a hand out to shake.

He smiled softly, shaking hands, “Yes, and I’m assuming your Michael?”

“Yeah…” I said, awkwardly. “Um, Elliot said you’re visiting from college?”

We moved to sit back down, “I am. I live on-campus and it’s at least six hours away so I don’t have the time to come home often. It’s not bad being away from home, but then you don’t see family much so it gets lonely.”

I thought about this before feeling bad. “I’m sorry that you won’t see Elliot during your visit… I’m sure he told you how he’s staying at my place for the weekend…”

“Yes, he did tell me. It’s okay. That means I can spend more time with my mom and dad.” he tells me with a small shrug. “More with dad since he’s always working.”

I remember that Jason is related to his dad by blood while Elliot is related by marriage. “You must be close to Elliot to come to the game,” I said, turning to him. “If I had any siblings I’m sure they wouldn’t come to my games.”

“Well, Elliot and I grew up together at a young age and we had to get along since we live together too,” he said then hesitated for a second. “Did he tell you what happened to his dad?”

I nod as I remember the day he told me, “Yeah…”

“He wasn’t very social when he was young and was really quiet compared to how he is now…” He said.

I remembered Jennifer telling me the same thing when I pushed Elliot away. “Is it because of his dad?”

Jason shrugged his shoulders, “I think so. He was young when his dad passed away so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected him. It took a lot to get him to come out of his shell and be a kid again.”

I thought about this when I saw Elliot walking over to us. “Hey, congrats on winning the game,”

“Thanks.” He said as he still seemed a bit out of breath. “I see you finally met my brother.”

“Yeah,” I said glancing over at Jason.

“We were just getting to know each other,” Jason said as we started making our way out of the building.

“Well, least you both came to the game. I’ll see you later on then?” Elliot said as he turned to his brother.

“Kick me out already?” Jason said.

“No. You should hang out with your brother while he’s still in town. I’ll just see you later.” I cut in.

“You're not going home alone,” Elliot said, grabbing my arm as I was about to walk away from them. "There's no one there."

"But your brother-"

“You guys, I’m right here,” Jason said as he moved in front of us. “Let’s all go have dinner together, and we can leave from there.”

I turned to Jason before glancing over at Elliot. “Okay…”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Elliot replied and turned to both of us. “Where should we go eat?”

“Let’s just go simple and go for burgers,” Jason said as he started walking and we followed beside him.

“Alright. So, that burger place that you like going to?” Elliot asked.

“Sure. I haven’t had one for a while,” he said and turned to me. “You’ll be riding with Elliot?”

I nod, “Yes.”

“Alright. Then I’ll head out first and meet you guys there.” Jason said as he walked out to the parking lot going to his car while I followed Elliot to his car.

“Come on,” Elliot said, reaching out for my hand and we walked over to the car.

“You’re brother might see,” I mumbled.

“So? It’ll help break the ice when I do tell him.” He says as he unlocks his car.

“You’re going to tell him tonight?” I asked, surprised.

He shrugs, “Maybe. Yes? I want to at least tell someone and Jason seems easier to tell.”

I thought about this as I got inside his car and turned to him. “Okay. Well, I’ll be there if you want me to and it’s okay if you don’t end up telling him as well. I know it can be hard to just say that your gay or bisexual, whichever orientation you feel that you are, but to also say that you're in a same-sex relationship is harder.”

Elliot turned to me and smiled softly. “Thank you. It's actually nice hearing you say that. I honestly am a bit nervous just saying it… I don’t know how you have the confidence to tell people…”

I thought about it for a second as Elliot started driving out of the parking lot. “It’s hard sometimes… I told Luis about us and he took it well.” I said as I can see Elliot's surprised expression and I smiled. “He’s really funny. He’s like… a big brother.”

Elliot chuckled, “Well, as long as he’s fine with it then I don’t mind that he knows. It's good to have a friend that you are comfortable with like that.” he said glancing over at me at a red light. “I’m glad you have a friend like him.”

“Me too,” I said as I looked down before turning back to him. “I know that I skipped out on visiting my dad for the weekend… But you would still come by for next weekend?”

“Of course,” he answered.

“Can I introduce you as my boyfriend?” I asked him, feeling a little hesitant saying it.

Elliot seemed hesitant as well before he nodded, “Yeah… Your mom knows and she seems to like me.” he said.

“It’s more like she loves you.” I cut in.

He smiled before it faded and he turned to me after he parked the car. “But your dad is a different story… You say he’s more understanding now, but I don’t know him and we both don’t know how he’ll react,” he tells me.

I paused as I thought about this, “That’s true… But I think it should be good for him to know so he knows that I’m doing okay.”

Elliot looked at me for a second before sighing, “We can talk more about this later, but it’s okay if you want to introduce me to your dad.” he said.

I nod, “Okay.”

“Now, come on. Let’s go eat,” he said as he opened his door to get out of the car. “I’m starving.”