Chapter 44 Dad, my first love
Lana's POV
I had to stay behind with my siblings as my mother went to the hospital with the paramedics and my dad. I tried to keep it together. I was hugging myself as I watched my siblings play in the backyard. My mind was on my dad. I hope that he is okay. I blink the tears away. I don't want them to know that anything is wrong, because my dad could be okay.
My heart feels so heavy with everything that is going on, and I don't have anyone to be there for me, to be my shoulder to cry on. Arden was that person for me, but he just broke my heart and I don't want to see him ever again. That part of my life is closed, he doesn't deserve to be in my life and he most certainly doesn't deserve to be in my baby's life. I have decided to keep it, because just thinking of almost getting rid of a life inside of me, makes me feel so much shame, and if I did it, I might just not get back emotionally from it.
I may be young, but I have to figure this out on my own. Daniel hurt me with his words and his actions. But maybe I should've stuck with someone my own age and that was Daniel. Maybe I was too blind to see it. What if Daniel and I were meant to be instead of Arden?
Should I give that a chance?
No, I shouldn't. I would not even date someone that I do not love in that way. I love Daniel as a friend. What man would want me with a child? Arden broke my heart and if this is what heartache is in a relationship, then I do not want it. I will change my phone number tomorrow. There will be no way that Arden will ever reach me. I want it that way. I need to heal and move on. I should focus on my dad, my baby and university, which is a whole new stress now that I'm pregnant.
Weston walked inside, out of breath from kicking the ball. "What's wrong? I hardly ever see you cry." he came to a stop. He was concerned. I wiped a tear away that escaped.
"I'm just feeling sad." I replied.
"Whatever it is, it will be okay," he said before he walked away. Things don't seem like they will be okay, but maybe it will be like this for now.
It has been over an hour, perhaps I should call my mother to find out how my dad is doing. He can be a sh^tty father, but he will always be my first love. His fatherly love is amazing, and although I pushed him away a lot when I had issues at school and the situation with Brady, my dad was always here for me and he loves me. I could feel his love for me. I don't know what I would ever do without him.
Arden was my second love, his comfort was amazing and the person that he was, or so I thought that he was. "Where is mom and dad?" Weston asked.
I sniffled. "They went out," I lied.
"Okay," he said as he went outside.
As I wanted to walk up the stairs, there was a knock on the front door. I walked towards the door, wiping my tears away with the back of my hands and I took a deep breath. Opening the door, uncle Reggie stood there in his black suit, looking at me with concern.
"Uncle Reggie, what are you doing here?" I asked.
He let out a breath, "How are you?" he asked, but there was something else written all over his face.
"I'm okay, I guess I'm holding on after what happened at the university," I shrugged. I opened the door wider and he stepped inside. His one hand was in his pants pocket. He turned around to face me after I closed the door.
"I take it that the others are in the backyard," he stated.
I nodded, this was strange. "Yes, my mom and dad are not here, my dad was rushed to the hospital," I said.
He nodded, " I know," he said, looking down. "I was there," he looked up at me. "I'm sorry, he didn't make it." his eyes began to tear up.
"What?" My heart was beating at a rapid pace after hearing those words. I shook my head. "No, you cannot lie to me, what do you mean my dad didn't make it?" I asked. I wanted to be sure.
"He had a heart attack and it was too much for his heart to handle. I am sorry, Lana. Your father is no more, and I know how much he meant to you," he said with so much sadness.
Tears began to blur my vision. I didn't want to believe it. I shook my head again. "No," I tried to remain strong, but the more I thought about what he said and thought about my dad on the ground when he writhed in pain, my walls came crumbling down. "It can't be," I broke down with an ugly sob as I hugged myself.
Uncle Reggie wrapped his arms around me and held me, comforting me. "I know. It is unreal for me too," he said.
I continued to sob as the pit in my stomach felt like it would never go away. I lost my dad and I couldn't be without him. How am I supposed to move on now? I lost Arden and now my dad. I am shattered by what feels beyond repair. This can't be happening, not now, not today, not ever. I want to believe that my dad is still alive. But what if I'm the cause of all the stress that led to this? I can only blame myself if it is. I squeeze my eyes shut but all I see is my dad on the ground and my sobs are uncontrollable.