Chapter 82 - Getting Married? - Mduno
He moved the phone. He didn't know how to tell me, fearing the repercussions I might take.
"Raúl picked her up from the airport four hours ago and dropped her off at the bus to La Dorada half an hour ago."
"She's not here..." he confirmed. I felt a knot in my stomach.
"Boss, Raúl mentioned..." He bit his lip. "She's quite disappointed and wants to..." I raised my hand.
"I don't want to hear anything she said. I'll let her anger pass and then I'll look for her. She'll be my wife, Cebolla."
"The thing is..."
"I don't want to fill my head with nonsense. She'll be married to me in a couple of months at the latest."
"As you say, sir."
"Thank you, Cebolla."
I finished my trip in Panama. Last night, I shared three beers with Santiago. I said goodbye to him, and his kind fiancée left us alone to talk about his sister. I needed to move on with my life.
The organization needed me at the forefront. I had distanced myself from it, though I never stopped sending drugs and making money, which was what all the members desired. I had canceled certain activities, like human trafficking. It was hard at first, but doubling their profits calmed them down.
Now there were new rules. I no longer liked what I was doing, and so I had to make another trip to confront the past. Before reaching her again, I would be emotionally ready.
Now I saw the harm done. Those young people I taught had changed something in my head, apart from making me feel good. I didn't know how to leave this world. And I needed to leave, for Verónica... Maybe on the trip...
Upon my return, I immersed myself in many projects and did them silently. After the trip to the United States, I had much to do. The days passed, feeling eternal to me. I didn't know how much time was prudent to go look for Verónica. Had her anger subsided?
Raúl didn't want to talk to me. He passed by the house a couple of days ago and looked at me like a machine gun, though I think he argued with Cebolla. The priest said I had to accept people's reproach. I was the one who failed.
If Verónica knew what I was doing to reach her level. Today I start preparing in record time for first communion and confirmation. I had to be ready; these were the necessary requirements if I wanted to get married in the church. I still found it hard to say the word without grimacing. I hope that when I propose, it doesn't show. I make a face like I'm drinking lemon juice.
My routine changed, all in favor of what I desire, which is to get her out of this hell. I continued with social work, and who would have thought it filled me with satisfaction. I handled organizational matters via email, dedicating myself to design, construction, and other personal matters.
I also wanted to dedicate myself to the countryside for a while. I don't think Verónica would mind; she was the one who motivated me. She's still at her father's farm, and she won't have any problems when she knows where we're going for a long time.
Inés couldn't be happier; she adored the new Roland, and that somehow guided us all. Rata slept much more peacefully now; I didn't need to sleep next to Verónica to fall deeply asleep. Every time I did something good, I could sleep peacefully, and I liked that. I knew I would be a better man upon her return.
"Are you ready?" The image in the mirror said otherwise. I looked like an idiot.
"Is this crap necessary?"
"You're on your way to your first communion and confirmation thanks to the priest, and you're complaining and cursing?" Inés, who was my confirmation sponsor, scolded me. All the paraphernalia was ridiculous.
"This is for kids."
"And what are you?" she reproached, as all the kids tried to stifle their laughter. "A complete child."
"At what point did I..."
"Watch what you say, sir," I sighed. "Do you not believe anymore?"
"Of course, I believe in the Lord God! What I find ridiculous are these sacraments. I don't see..."
"Respect the rituals of each religion. Each has its beliefs. If you're not comfortable with the Catholic religion, then choose another. You still have time to change. Don't speak ill of the traditions they have."
"Sorry," I lowered my gaze and sighed. "I feel ridiculous."
"Why did you stray from your mother's religion?"
"Enough, Inés. I just want to marry Verónica, and she's devout."
"Roland," she rarely called me that. "Do it out of conviction, out of love for what you believe in, in this case, God, and because you desire it, not for the young lady, not to please her. That's not how it works." She pointed upward. "He misses nothing; everything in life boils down to faith."
"Okay, forgive me."
"Deep down, you know why you're doing it, and that emerging heart accepts it."
"He saved Verónica."
"No, son, he saved you." And those words pierced my chest. I nodded. "God, the Creator, the Universe, Life, Energy, or any name given by religions, saved you."
The first communion ceremony was officiated by the priest with the people who had become part of Roland Sandoval's new life, the kids I taught, with whom I felt very grateful.
When the community service began, I was assigned five young people, the most troublesome ones in the neighborhood, and within a few weeks, I had thirty. Soon, one of the gangs terrorizing the neighborhood would be dismantled.
The children from the parish foundation, RS & Co. constructions, started subsidizing them, and I began creating a couple of projects for them. I lived on the streets; seeing them reminded me of where I came from.
Since then, a strange feeling has emerged inside me, a gratifying reward that I receive every time I visit them at the improvised shelter organized by the parish. The foundation R&V... that’s what it will be called.
My men, the ones assigned to protect me, also started attending mass. The priest says I have a natural leadership, Veronica told me that during the trip to Santa Marta. As the minutes passed, I understood Ines's comment, "Nothing in the world matters if you don't believe in something." Now I believe in Him. I don't know what He wants from me, I don't know His motive or the reason for the path I've taken. I know misery in all its forms... Forgive me, Lord, if I still doubt. Ines says You know everyone, so please be patient with me.
I received the body of Christ. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but when I felt the host in my mouth, my blood ran stronger, making my skin tingle, and I felt that warmth again that invaded me the night I made my pact with Him for Veronica. When it was over, the priest continued with the confirmation ceremony, where the father assisted the bishop. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.
I understood this sacrament less, but for me, it was an indispensable requirement for what I wanted. And by the way, it was time to find her, it had been a month. Damn! I haven't bought the engagement ring, let alone the wedding rings. The priest smiled happily, his eyes shining, feeling proud... Of me? That kind of happiness was what Veronica made me feel. I laughed louder, and the people around me stared.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"It was in bad taste to laugh in front of the bishop."
Ines scolded me, and she had every right. She was another one proud to be my godmother.
"I already said I'm sorry. I know this is an invaluable memory for you." I handed her the candle and the sacrament badge.
"Thank you, sir."
"You're welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me."
I tried to approach the priest to say goodbye, but it was impossible. People wanted to congratulate me, and it was a strange feeling. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt lighter.
"Roland!"
Rata called me. Since it was impossible to reach the priest, I turned around and headed toward my friend.
"Tell me."
"Let's get out of here."
"Cebolla, go with Ines and the rest of the guys," the head of security ordered.
"Is something wrong?" He shrugged.
"In fifteen days, there's a meeting of the organization. They feel you're drifting away."
"I'm not going. We've already talked about this."
"It's in La Dorada." My heart skipped a beat. I smiled.
"Perfect!" I laughed again, like you do, Lord. "Find a way to contact her." I haven't stopped calling Veronica's cell, still leaving her my itinerary. "Rata, take me to a mall."
"What?"
"I need to buy something. If I'm going to find her in fifteen days..." Rata smiled without saying a word.
"Do you want to go alone or should I come with you?"
For a second, I thought about going alone. But after analyzing what I was going to do, I preferred to go with help.
"Come with me," I replied. "This is too much; I'll have stage fright."
Rata's laughter echoed in the car. Meanwhile, I felt half of my body burning.
"Let's go. I don't want you to regret taking this step."
"It's not that I feel so sure about it, Rata. Sometimes I can't grasp the idea of commitment, of asking her to marry me. But it's the only way to be with her."
"Where should I take you?" he asked with that little smile on his face.
"There are jewelry stores in malls. Take me to any of them. How hard can it be to buy a ring?"
It wasn't the difficulty; it was the variety. And you don't know which one to choose. Plus, it was the first time in my life I was in the women's section. The companion had an even worse opinion, which didn't help me decide.
I should have brought Ines. She's a woman and would know how to choose the best one. The saleswoman was happy. In front of me were five different sets of rings, and each one cost over fifteen million pesos, so her commission should be juicy. I liked them all, and I couldn't put five rings on Veronica.
"You're no help, Rata!" I said. He shrugged.
"I didn't think you'd have trouble deciding."
I punched him in the shoulder, and he laughed while rubbing it.
"Ha, ha, ha. Don't mess with me."
I made a face. Two girls Veronica's age entered the jewelry store, and a light bulb went off.
"Excuse me!" The young women looked at me with furrowed brows. "I'm sorry, but I have a big dilemma."
One of the young women looked me up and down. In the past, I would have already been telling her my conditions to take her to bed. I laughed. How much I've changed, Don Roland Sandoval! But now I needed their help to choose a ring for my future wife.