Chapter 65 - I Set You Free - mduno
I lay down to sleep, set my phone to wake me up at four in the morning. I haven't slept at all, spent the night crying, knowing exactly what I had to do. When I woke up, I took a shower, grabbed some workout clothes, comfortable sneakers, my jacket, and my bag, took my headphones, and removed several things I would leave behind.
"D'Artagnan!"
I patted my thigh a couple of times to call my dog, grabbed his leash, and put it on him.
"Today you'll come jogging with me, and help me clear my doubts." I had already made a decision.
The city woke up cold, after last night's rain, it was no surprise, the fog was thick. I greeted the guard who looked at the time; by the time they tell Roland, it will be too late when they ask him. Besides, I left with a small crossbody bag, looking like I was going to exercise and with the dog. I didn't give any sign of wanting to leave.
There are situations and actions that shouldn't be overlooked. When one of the two people in a relationship looks elsewhere for what they should find in their partner, it means there is no longer love, respect, or loyalty. In that case, it's better to step aside and move on. I don't know if I'll forgive Roland. But he needed to understand that I am not a woman to be played with, no matter how much it hurts my soul, I come first, my dignity comes first, my self-respect comes first.
If God allowed and decided that this was the end of our journey together, I won't argue, no matter how much it tears my chest apart. For now, I don't see the benefit, I feel pain, sadness, and thousands of trampled dreams, thrown into the trash can.
Maybe I aimed too high, I wanted to change a person who doesn't want to change. And I will never accept infidelity. That issue was non-negotiable in my life. I had walked several blocks when I took a taxi. I remembered my mother's words once when I argued with my father.
"Daughter."
"I don't know how you put up with him, mom, he's so grumpy!" I was packing my suitcase to return to Lorena's apartment. "Really, I don't know how you put up with him!"
"Because he loves me and, above all, because I love him."
"You shouldn't allow him to be so rough."
"Veronica. Your father has never laid a hand on me or you."
"But he's close, I don't consider myself a floozy for him to imply that I'll do inappropriate things in Bogotá."
"I know." Mom started handing me my clothes. "Your father has never failed to fulfill his obligations, we've never gone hungry, and he's never deprived me of the comforts I need."
"You live on a farm, mom!"
"Because I love living here!" That response completely disarmed me. For her, that was her perfect world. "Your father is a man of one woman, Veronica, and that's almost impossible. If you find a man like that, value him because you don't know the disaster that allowing infidelity brings to a home or a relationship."
"Besides, it's one of God's commandments that must not be broken. Never allow it, and if it happens, because we all make mistakes, forgive that mistake only once. Remember this; the important thing is to revere the creator, have him as the main thing in your soul, and your husband is the main thing in your body."
"He's very bad-tempered, mom."
"It passes quickly, and my love for your father is greater than a vain anger."
"Because it's not you who he implied could become a floozy."
"He's afraid of losing you, Veronica, he's scared of seeing his angel suffer, he's terrified that a lowlife will come and crush the dreams of his soul, and that soul is you." Who fights against that?
My mother's words filled my chest with emotion. "How I miss your wise words," why did you leave, mom? Now more than ever, I need you.
"Where to, miss?"
I wiped my tears. My story with Roland ended here, I don't know what will happen in the future, the only clear thing for me was to put miles of distance. I needed to get him out of my soul.
"To the bus terminal, please."
…………
I arrived at Veronica's apartment, the guard said she hadn't returned from jogging, she left with D'Artagnan, I looked at the clock, it was six in the morning. I haven't slept at all. It was for the best, it was better to let her think I had been unfaithful.
Rata hasn't stopped yelling at me, calling me an idiot for letting the situation get to this point, deep down I feel he still doesn't believe me, but I swore on his life that I wouldn't touch her again. I couldn't keep rejecting her.
Last night when she took off her trench coat, showing me her provocative body under a sheer layer... I almost lost my mind, I don't know where I found the strength not to break my promise. Last night she didn't see me reject Beatriz's proposal, that woman was crazy, she insisted that she didn't mind being my lover, and Veronica wouldn't have to find out.
He lunged at me to kiss my neck, and at that moment, she walked in. That's what she saw, and it was the perfect scene, the perfect excuse! At another time, I wouldn't have cared. Things with my girlfriend were getting pretty heated; I couldn't touch her, and to do so, I had to marry her, as Rata said. The problem was, I would never get married...
I entered the apartment; my friends waited in the car. I told them I'd be down in twenty minutes. What an annoying feeling! It was a constant agony. The apartment felt cold; I went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water. What I had to say was complicated.
I opened the door to the terrace where I'd spent the last few days. I delighted in watching her lose herself in her thoughts, looking at the beautiful cityscape visible from the top floor.
Minutes passed, the breeze turned colder. And that damn feeling of forewarning. I looked at the clock, she hadn't arrived, it was about to rain. Doesn't that girl care about taking care of herself? I took out my phone and called her.
The sound came from inside the house. I went in, thinking she had returned. The phone was on the dining table, where last night Verónica had prepared a romantic dinner for me. My heart started pounding more than usual, an absurd feeling of acidity concentrated in my throat.
On the table, next to her phone, she had also left the apartment keys, the keys to my house, the credit cards, and even the savings card with a note. Why were my hands trembling if this was what I wanted? To put distance between us.
Goodbye Roland
Goodbye? Just goodbye... What did you expect, idiot? You knew this could happen. You know how Verónica would act. She would never forgive me, no matter how much of a lie it was, but she didn't know that. Damn, this hurt so bad!
"Is something wrong, Roland?"
Rata entered the apartment with the revolver in his hand. He came up when he saw my pulse change. My watch has a device that tells him my pulse; I was a potential kidnapping target, and that data would help him know if I was still alive. I hadn't moved from the same spot, still holding Verónica's note in my hand. Rata approached and, seeing her belongings on the table, deduced what it meant. She had left me again.
"That's what you wanted, so why are you acting like this?" I looked at my best friend like an idiot.
"Just find out where she is, Rata."
"Sorry..."
"It's a damn order!" I turned and left the apartment.
You must be satisfied now, Lord, your angel has left the demon. I bit my lip; I won't show weakness in front of the men who protect me, I already have enough with the Cárdenas. Rata got into the car without saying a damn word. He drove to the house.
"Boss..."
"Take me home, tomorrow I'll be the same bastard again. For now, leave me alone, Rata."
"Roland..."
"Don't say a damn thing! Shut up! She's alive, and that's what matters to me."
"Shoot me if you want, asshole."
We stared at each other; he never looked away. The rest feared me because of the monster I had been.
"Have you become a masochist? You know what the young lady must be suffering."
"She'll suffer more with me!" I shouted. "Don't you get it?"
"Maybe, but at least she deserved the truth. Starting with the fact that nothing happened between you and that woman."
"Simón, I want to be alone as soon as possible."
"You love her, Roland."
"I'm not getting married, don't mess with that crap again!"
"As you say, Boss!"
We arrived at the house, and Rata slammed the steering wheel.
"I hope you don't regret the stupidity of pushing away the only good thing I've seen in your entire life."
He got out of the car, slamming the door, and so did I. I entered the house and took out my frustration on the front door, went up to my room, and threw a fit with my bedroom door, throwing everything in my path.
I couldn't calm down, I didn't even feel hungry. I was so angry, knowing this was what I wanted, to push her away. I held back the urge to cry; I'm not a woman to be crying! The more I held back, the more acidity I felt in my throat. Hours passed, and for the first time in my life, I wasted a day doing nothing. Three knocks on the door made me turn, it was Inés coming in with food.
"Can I come in, son, or will you send me to hell like you did with Rata?" My housekeeper entered after seeing I didn't respond.
"I'm not hungry."
"You will be." She left the tray on the table. "They told me the young lady left you."
"Inés, I don't want her mentioned in this house. She'll be fine now."
"Says who?"