Chapter 56 What's happening?

Chapter 56 What's happening?
Laramie:

His voice was raised.

His mouth drew into a thin white line.

His eyes narrowed.

And his fingers were wrapped around my wrist so tight that it actually hurt.

I tried to pull free of his hold, but he just tightened his grip even more, pulling me against his body. His chest rose and fell with every eratic breath that he took. He didn't even look like Ethan anymore. He looked like someone that I didn't recognize - someone a little unhinched - someone that scared the crap out of me.

"Ethan..."

I tried, but the words fell short when Ethan suddenly wrapped his other hand around my throat. My heart began to race as the world around me slowed. My stomach lurged into my throat and my entire body went cold as a block of ice. I began to shake uncontrollably, tears welling up behind my eyes, threatening to spill over.

Ethan was looking at me. Actually, it felt more like he was looking right through me. His eyes were still dark, but void of the passion they had before. They seemed empty and cold and scary.

I tried to take a step back, but Ethan was holding on too tight - I couldn't move. I grabbed hold of his arm with my free hand and tried to pull it away from my throat, but it was no use. There was nothing I could do but stand there, trembling with fear, hoping that Ethan would come to his senses and let go of me.

How the hell did this happen?

How did we get to this point?

Where did it all go wrong?

I was confused, and dazed, and scared out of my mind.

Finally, Ethan spoke, his voice just as cold as his eyes.

"Your body belongs to me, Laramie. No one else touches it. Not even you."

I just stared at him, my mouth falling open.

He was crazy - out of his mind.

He had to be.

"Do you understand me?"

Still, I just stared at him.

He squeezed my throat so hard that my vision began to blur slightly.

"DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"

I didn't know what else to do. I was so scared that I thought I might wet myself. So, I nodded my head, hoping that if I just told him what he wanted to know that he would let me go.

He didn't.

"And if I tell you not to move, you don't move."

I nodded my head again, tears streaming down my cheeks. I was beginning to feel faint, the room around me fading into darkness.

"Next time I tell you not to touch, don't touch, Laramie."

I nodded my head for the third time, gasping for air.

Ethan finally let go of me. I fell back a few steps, clutching at my throat as I tried desperately to fill my lungs with air again. Ethan just stood there, with his fists clenched by his sides still breathing heavily, staring at me.

I fumbled to the ground, still clutching my throat and began to sob like a child. I was so scared - I was terrified actually. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before and I had no idea what to do next. I was so confused, felt so lost. I had no idea what happened or why it had happened.

I was only trying to be sexy, trying to play along with Ethan's game. I never meant to upset him like that - never meant to send him over the edge like that. This was an entirely different side to Ethan. One that I hated. One that I never wanted to see again.

When I finally collected myself enough to look up at Ethan, it looked like the fog was lifting and his mind was clearing. It looked like he was seeing me for the first time and it scared him. A pained expression fell over his face as he rushed to my side and kneeled down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh, Jesus, Laramie. I am so sorry."

I flinched and withdrew into myself. Ethan pulled his arms away from me - he looked hurt, he looked scared, but most of all, he looked disgusted with himself.

"I'm so, so sorry, Laramie. God - please? Forgive me? I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't mean to do that to you."

Suddenly, the fear I had been feeling was replaced by a rage so bright that it threatened to consume me completely. I pushed away from Ethan and shot to my feet, putting as much distance between us as the small room allowed. Ethan didn't move - he just looked at me like he had just stepped on a kitten.

"What the hell, Ethan? What the fuck was that about?"

A shadow crossed behind his eyes - like he was getting angry again. I instinctively stepped back, but it looked like he was trying really hard to control himself.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I don't know... I just... got carried away."

"You just got carried away? You choked me, Ethan. You hurt me. You really scared me."

His features softened as he took a step toward me. I took another step back, but my back was already up against the wall. My body was still shaking, only I wasn't sure if it was because of the anger I was feeling or some risidual fear for Ethan.

Ethan looked away from me. He looked embarrassed - ashamed even. The colour drained from his face completely.

"I know, Laramie. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

For a moment, we both just stood there is silence. He kept looking at the floor, it looked like he was trying to find the words that could make all of this go away. Eventually, I couldn't take it any more: it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away from Ethan.

"I need to go."

His eyes shot up, locking with mine.

"What?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

"I need to go, Ethan. I can't be here right now."

"Laramie, please? Can we just talk about it?"

He took another step toward me, but I threw my hands in the air to show him not to come any closer. He stopped in his tracks and just stared at me.

"There's nothing to talk about, Ethan."

"Please?" He begged. He sounded desperate.

And...

Were those actual tears in his eyes?

I hurried around him, grabbed my clothes and started getting dressed. Ethan just watched me silently. When I was dressed, I waited - waited for him to say something else, to do something else. I didn't know what and I didn't know why. But Ethan just stood there, staring at me like a child who had just lost his favorite toy.

So, I turned on my heel and got out of there as quickly as I could.

I didn't look back as I left, but his silence followed me - heavy, cold, and nothing like the man I thought I knew.