Raven's POV.
Since she kissed me, she has never disappeared from my mind; it's like her name has been engraved on me since we were children. It was maybe an accident, but her soft lips are what I'm craving. I was tormented at that time, so I didn't know anything about the boy and girl thing, but she was really unique; she was different from everyone else; she could revive my sleeping pet. Fvck! I was young, so I didn't know anything yet.
Tasting her lips always made me phase out, so sometimes my friends hit me, but I didn't care about it. All I care about is that I see her every day. I'm crazy about her; it's just that I was stupid and couldn't face her.
That's why tasting her lips once more that night made me feel so hot. She was so freaking good and an expert at making me feel weak, even if I am a man. I shouldn't feel that, but that's her; she can easily drive me insane.
She avoided me; I didn't make it a big deal because I was busy with our kids. I smiled. Guess what? I just tasted her lips accidentally and now we have children.
I want to flirt with her too, but I'm afraid that she will refuse my love for her. We haven't been talking seriously yet, but every time I wanted to, everything just ended up being a wonder, or sometimes there's some disturbance, sometimes led by shame.
"Don't you intend to win Cbiara's heart again?" Hiro asked me once again when it's midnight and I can't sleep and maybe he is too. It looks like he wants to vent like me. I turned to him and he handed me a can of beer. I get it and drink it.
"I'm waiting for the right time," I replied to him.
"And when was it? When was someone else the first to court her? Remember, it's Cbiara Blair Ashton, and even if she had a child, plenty of men are still chasing her." Suddenly something settled in my chest, but I chose to ignore it because I wanted to know what Cbiara wanted. Her decision was important to me; she mattered the most to me.
Even after being with her for a month, I knew I didn't really know her completely because we wouldn't be separated if we knew each other. No matter what effort I make or observe, I still need to ask those who know her very well.
"Why? Someone courted her in Chicago? I bet yes, because of her beauty. Damn, even I would fall for her again and again." I replied to my own question.
"You're right, I almost flirted with Cbiara," he confessed. I was about to punch him, but he added, "But I know I don't want it, and I don't have a chance on her." My fist was hanging in the air because I didn't like what he said, but fortunately he took it back immediately.
"Damn, I must be worried."
"Yes, you should. Maybe she'll find someone else; she still has many consistent lovers in Chicago; maybe that's the reason why she wants to fly us back there if you don't come." He left me with my mouth and jaw dropped.
Shit! Why is it that I am so frail when it comes to her? I'm an expert on this; I was taught about this so why do I feel like I'm still stuttering?
"Fuck you, Raven!" I muttered a curse to myself. What right do I have to be like this when I hurt her so much? With all her sacrifices, I feel like even giving all my efforts to her is not enough. "You fucking idiot!" I cursed myself several times that night. I didn't stop until I felt relieved.
"Where's mom?" I asked the kids, and they shook their heads. I bet they give up on waking their mom.
"It's okay, babies; she must be tired." I told them, and Rayden looked at me innocently.
"Did you make her exhausted, Dad? That's bad." I spat out what I ate when he said that in an innocent voice. Like, how come?
"Who told you about that?"
"Uncle Hiro!" The two of them pointed to the man who was already out of the kitchen.
"Hiro!"
"I have nothing to do with that," he shouted back, but I just chose to be with my kids and explain to them about their mom.
"She's tired because she's always doing chores. So we should clean our mess when we're done so that mommy won't have a hard time," I told her. They pouted and nodded; they seemed to be quick to order, so I thought of something.
"Hiro!"
"What? Let's just fight to end it all!"
"Tsk, I'm not going to punch you because you're so fragile."
"Whatever," I wanted to grab his eyes because he thought he looked beautiful in it.
"I need your help,"
"What? Did you come up with your mind and ask Cbiara to propose to her?" He excitedly jumped while waiting for my answer, his grin all over his face, but I had to cut his delusion.
"I don't want her to be pressured and think that I only married her for the children, so I'll flirt with her first." I told him, I didn't want to rush because that's not how love is. I want her to be comfortable; I want us to start at first; I want to take it slow.
"Wow, that's how you think, Raven?"
"Why? You think I'm Roux? Well, that jerk is just another bastard, though, and I don't like them." I was just thinking that I was like Roux and Mr. Smith; I'm sick.
I was raised by my mom from the beginning, so basically I am always a gentleman, even if they think of me as annoying, cold, and ruthless. Well, I am when I don't think you are worth it and you always make mistakes, especially in my company. I won't miss it, whether it's a girl or a boy, but when it comes to Cbiara, That was another discussion.
I can't even lay a hand on her or kiss her without consent; I feel like my heart is being stabbed. But yeah, I can ignore her while stalking her still. I can't; she's my first in everything. I blame myself for not grabbing the opportunity because I was just afraid.
I cannot justify my behavior; I've always been a fool when it comes to her. I know, I repeated it many times.
"Anyway, what you did is really embarrassing, and you should just take everything slowly, especially with children." I creased my forehead. Why is he talking about my kids? "Why?" he chuckled. "Do you think they accepted you fully? They still have a little fear of you leaving them like you did, so they don't acclimate themselves to you being there."
"What? Hiro, you know that I did it for Red's safety," I reasoned.
"I know, even if their mom explained it well to them. They still can't get over Raven." I suddenly realized what he said: "So don't be too slow and fast, Raven; you should be in between when you move; that's the best thing you could do." He advised me and patted my shoulder.
"Why are you experts like this? And why are you helping me?"
"I like you for her; she's different when you're around, and I don't want someone else to be the father of the children. If it's not you, then I'll be, but I have life when they grow up and they need their real father. And Cbiara needs to be loved truly, Raven; there is no what if, and it's only you who can give it to her." His words are becoming my music, and after all the things that he told me, I realized that I should move now or else I'll be late and regret it later.
"Hiro, I don't know how to show my gratitude, but thank you, bro, for everything." Without him, I wouldn't be able to ask anything about Cbiara and everything; maybe that's why we met for so many reasons.
"Don't mention it; I'm happy with the children, with Cbiara, and with you, so move now!" He pressured me; he laughed in my face. "I didn't know only Cbiara could make you tremble like this." He laughed loudly and still hit me, but I let him because he helped us a lot. "I'll go; just tell me when you're ready because the three of us will help." He turned around and waved, and his bulk disappeared completely.