The next day, my down there was badly sore; even if I was just urinating, it was painful. That's why I didn't move much. Hiro gave me a meaningful smile, but I just dismissed him.
"I heard your moaning, is it delicious? Rate 1-10." I slapped his arm because why did he think like that?
"Shut up!" Maybe the kids could hear us, but he just gave me a smug smile and rolled his eyes, so I kicked his feet hard.
"Hey! You are being an abuser!" I stuck out my tongue at him, so he just laughed, and then after that I made our lunch as usual. I didn't wake up early. "But… Raven healed quickly since he scored last night." I ignored Hiro until I reached the kitchen and he simply pinched my side.
"Nothing happened!" I deny it, even if it is obvious. Even if he was going to kill me I would never admit it. I don't care what Hiro would think. I won't admit it, even if his hair turns white. "Stop being a nitpicker, Hiro, and join them."
"No, I want to see your reaction; besides, I'm merely catching you." He grinned all over his face. I beat him and chose to focus on what I was doing, but he always chit-chatted me on some annoying topic. He just stopped when the kids arrived and asked Raven to eat, but Hiro's facial expression and actions were still there.
We were at the dining table, and I simply glanced at Hiro, who couldn't stop at making his brows go up and down when my eyes turned his way.
"You want to eat this?" Raven suddenly asked me with the beans. I handed over my plate, but he shook his head. "Open your mouth," he commanded and looked so serious, I was trying to laugh but he was dominant.
"Huh?" I look at my kids, and it looks like they are cheering for their father. I scratch my nape.
"Just open your mouth, Cbiara; there's nothing wrong with it." Hiro kept teasing me, my cheeks were red, and I opened my mouth for the man to feed me.
"Yee, they look so good, right, Rayden?" Red even claps his hands and really looks for an ally.
"Yeah," and as a nonchalant person as ever, Rayden doesn't really have reliable emotions at times. But for his brother, he keeps on trying.
I didn't ask for anything more this time; I was just denying myself that I wanted just me and my children. Yet I know that experiencing this way made me think that it is really my fault for not trusting him with all my heart.
The kids were longing for their father's care and love, no matter how hard I tried to give it to them. It'll never be good as one. However, I'm glad that I made the right decision this time, finally.
Raven sneaks into my room every evening just to give me a smack kiss. Sometimes he will sleep there; we're doing it without a proper label. Without talking about what we really are. I don't know, but I love what's between us. I was content with everything. We didn't discuss anything, and if we had, it was just casual.
"Didn't you wish that you and Raven would be together again? I mean, don't hold your feelings, Cbiara; I know you love him." Hiro stated that it was as if I no longer had the right to refuse his words. "You're obvious, Cbiara, so don't deny it, and besides, I won't abandon you if you'll admit it."
"Shut up! I don't feel anything!"
"No! Your words don't fit your actions; those stray looks of yours—I know that girl! I'm a woman too, you know?" He said it so artfully that I just laughed and, at the same time, was irritated with him because he was quick to guess, but I would never confess it to him.
***
Everything went well between us; there was nothing more or less to deal with between the two of us. The kids are getting better with their father, and I love seeing it. I was changing as the thing that I didn't hear Rayden saying, 'I want to grow fast, Mom'. Damn, they really need their father to act like kids.
"Hey." I was startled when someone approached me, and it turned out that it was Raven. "You're alone?"
"I was just looking at my kids." I don't know what to say to him, it feels like whenever he's with me, my heart almost pops out.
His forehead creased. "Our kids, Cbiara."
"Yeah, ours." I smile, and that's it. The atmosphere became quiet once again.
I am not good at bringing up a good conversation; I'm lacking when it comes to communication, so I didn't wonder why he suddenly went silent. I rolled my eyes and sniffed to find out. Damn, I was just praying he didn't notice it.
"Do you still plan to go back to Chicago?"
"Why?" I looked at him this time. I was doing my best to avoid meeting his gaze. I feel like seeing his dazzling eyes makes me think he is seducing me, but I fvcking met it. And I felt like I was in a cloud.
"Nothing; you can just go to my condo."
"Why? We can stay here."
"Yeah, we can stay here." I saw the ghostly smile on his lips, so I was about to clarify it to him, but I didn't want to remove that smile. I made him smile and I don't know why I feel like it was an achievement.
"How about your business in Itacha? Will you just ditch that?" I seriously ask that. His face suddenly changed when I mentioned it. "Sorry," I said, biting my nails.
"No, it's fine." He assured me, "There's just a problem, but it can be fixed quickly, so don't worry." I nodded. I know he is true to his word because I saw him manage his business and grow easily without involving anything illegal.
"You can do it," I told him.
"Of course I can; I have my family." By how he uttered the word family, I saw how his eyes sparkled as if it were his inspiration for everything. "I have my kids and you, and that's enough."
"Raven,"
"Cbiara," he said, taking my hand and holding it. My eyes went down. "We can still be a family, me, you, the kid, and even Hiro; we can be a perfect family; we're happy, right? We're just here; there's no trouble; no one knows everything; we're just here."
"R-Raven,"
"I'll be better; I'll do good. I'll leave everything for you; I'll try to start over." His eyes are full of determination; damn, how could this powerful man say that to me? "I don't want to lose you again, my children," he said, tightening his hold on my hand. "P-please, love," he whimpered. “I'll just go to my business for a day then come back for you?