Raven stayed there till the day he wanted, and the following morning I heard Red and Raven's words. I did my daily routine before dragging myself downstairs. I wash my face and brush my teeth. When I got finished, I discovered the two of them sitting on the couch eating cereal and watching Netflix. They were having fun, so I didn't bother them even though I wanted to admonish them.
When I entered the kitchen, Rayden was eating by himself. He seems unhappy, so I ask, "Why are you alone, baby? Why don't you join them? Red and your father,” but I forget that's his regular expression every day.
"Is Raven not leaving yet?"
"Rayden!" I raised my voice at him. "Where are your manners?"
"How about him? Where is his manner? He can go home; maybe his wife will think we are taking him away from them." I closed my eyes; his cold attitude has always been present, just like his heart.
"Rayden, he is just here to take back the years you three were not together. And…you and Rayden are his family too.” I wanna elaborate to him that they are part of Raven's life yet Rayden wouldn't even listen.
"No need for that; we're used to not having him. And if you are not part of the family that he will build then I'm not in too." He uttered perfectly like he hated his father so much, and I was afraid that it would grow more.
I bit my lower lip and sat beside him, this is not good anymore. It was my fault in the first place so I need to take action.
"But Red needs him; you need a father too, Rayden, a real one." I held his hands, but he removed them, so I knew I had no hope left. "Don't you wish for this? Remember that ‘Dad’ was your first word when you were able to talk.” I want him to reminisce about the past when he was eager to meet his dad.
"I wish, Mom, who doesn't want it? But him having a wife is what I can't accept; I don't want you to be a mistress, and someone will rush you here. Then bully you, no! I do not wish for that." My heart is soft knowing that he cares for my feelings and what would happen, yet he doesn't have to because it was my duty to protect them.
"Don't think of Mom and think about yourself, Rayden. I can handle myself, please. Give your dad a chance,” I kiss his temple before heading to my routine every morning because I want him to think.
***
"What do you want for an afternoon snack? Pasta, cake, ice cream, or what? I'll cook." Red raised a hand when his dad announced it to us when we were in the back of the house for our leisure time.
Red was playing with his favorite dog with Hiro, while I was sitting and reading an article, Rayden was busy trying to analyze what he was reading and solving a math problem. While Raven was busy glancing at his kids then to me.
"Nachos and cookies!" He even stuck his tongue out and danced so we laughed except for Rayden who was still busy
"Cookies for me," Hiro told him. He snarled but had to do what Hiro requested as well.
"Rice Krispies treat is mine," I told him about it before but maybe he forgot, so I just reprimanded him. We were waiting for Rayden to speak, but he was focusing on his book and knitted his brows. "How about Rayden? What do you like, baby?"
"Nothing, Mom," was his statement, then he left us with his books.
I get up and smile at them. "I'll just go." I vocalize to them.
“It's fine Cbiara,” Raven told me and tried to halt me but I shook my head and determined to talk to my kid
"Rayden, let's talk." I told him when I was able to catch up with him.
"If it's about Daddy, don't get your hopes up, Mom. I will never forgive him, stop convincing me." He pointed out, so I suddenly fell silent. "Whatever you do, I will never be close to him. Isn't Red enough? And he is taking away you from us! I hate him"
"You're being rude to him, Rayden; he is still your father. And what's taking me away?” He didn't answer me and stomped out of the hallway after giving me a sharp gaze; he is being a rebel right now. I was calling him but he never gave me even a glance.
This is a consequence of having a brilliant son.
I just went back to the three because I can't force the boy to do what he wants because I know Rayden. Whatever he wants will be followed; that's his side that I don't like. At first, it was fine with me, but after a long time, his head became stubborn.
I wanted to comfort him, but I was left with no choice and had to understand him after all. Raven has broken their hearts since they were young. I blame myself for all of it; if only I had told them everything and introduced Raven, everything might be fine. But it was too late to regret my decision; there was nothing I could do, and I just had to accept the truth.
I sat on the floor, curled my legs up and placed my head on my knee in the hallway. I was staying there for a minute just to be emotional when I heard footsteps. I didn't bother to look but a handkerchief was handed to me, I looked up at that person even though I knew who was the owner of that handkerchief.
It was mine, I gave that to him when we were in high school. I know because there's an acronym of my name stitched there. I get it and wipe my tears circling my eyelids.
“He was just shocked, Cbiara, no need to push him to like me in an instant.” Just like me, he sat on the floor as well.
“I am just blaming myself, because of me and my false accusation. I was giving you to him a bad image,”
“It's fine Cbiara. I am not blaming you and besides he is just a kid so I would understand.”
“He was having an idea that you're going to take me away from them.” I confessed to him, I know that won't happen because whatever it takes. My children are who I prioritize most.
“Is that why he hates me that much?” I nodded my head, he shook his head and lifted his lips. I furrowed my brows, “if he only knew how much you love them. He wouldn't think that way, I know you Cbiara.”
“R-Raven,”
“Let's go, I'll make this up to him. Little by little I'm going to win his heart.” He even winked at me and stood up then offered his hand to me with a smile. It's weird, why do I have to feel something in my stomach? In order to avoid it, I get up and run darn it!
I went back to the kitchen and saw them arguing. Red was very fond of his father, which made me happy. Hiro on the other hand was supportive of them and had no malice. When I entered, Red immediately waved me off and put me next to Raven.
"You and Mom look great, Dad," the boy continued to grin as if he had no idea what was going on around him. Red misses his father's love, which I understand, and is trying to go with the flow with him.
He is just a kid who knows nothing, unlike his brother, who knows more than me.
***
"Are you really not going to come home to them? You can visit the kids whenever you are free or when you want to." Raven and I were talking on the rooftop of this mansion while the three were asleep. It's not that I want him to leave here, but Rayden and I were always arguing about this, and I don't like it. Days had passed but everything just became worse.
"Come back to me, come back to me and the kids," he pleaded. I shook my head because that's a sin. If his fiancée finds out about us, then she might take away my children, so I avoid that as long as I can. "I promise to be good to you and to them; I will take all of you in my arms."
"You have a family, Raven. I don't want to be someone that I hate so avoid this, okay? J—just be a good father to my kids, that's enough." I held his hand. I was afraid that there might be some kind of electricity that would suddenly connect to us, but thankfully there was none. "That's what I am asking for you: be a father to them, not a man for me."
"But..." I interrupted his words.
"Shh, what used to be enough for me? It's a great thing for me, and that's enough; you don't need to pretend anymore." I already preceded him in what he could tell me; it's all done; what we have is part of the past.
"Do you really believe I cheated on you, Cbiara Blair?" I was suddenly horrified by the way he asked me. "Is that how you think I am? A cheater? Then I tell you, Lethia and Roux are still together even after everything and there's no us and I was in a relationship with you, and that's the fact!" My mouth dropped at his information.
"N-no!" I disagree with his statement; we broke up! "There's no us! And you have a fiancée!” What I've seen in articles, news on television, and even in the media. So if he really loves me he should deny it but there's no statement that says Axl Raven denied everything. He remained silent!
"You were supposed to marry me, but what did you do? You ran away because you believed in your ex!" He brought what was in the past and I hated it, my madness grew inside my chest.
"That's not true! I know you can't do that, but the picture of you hugging her is enough reason to make me keep away from you Raven! You were feeding her like your wife and…you have had plenty of controversy yet you remained silent so stop this! Stop trying to win my heart." He was shocked by my words while I was withdrawing air one after another since I was running out of breath.