Chapter 28

Killian

Guilt was an unfamiliar notion for me, a sentiment I had rarely encountered before Marcella came into my life. I had always prided myself on being resolute and unyielding, navigating through life with a steadfast indifference to the emotional turmoil of others. However, with Marcella, I found myself treading carefully, striving to be gentle and considerate in ways I had never imagined possible. I endeavored to cloak my harsher side, shielding her from the rough edges of my personality that could so easily bruise her delicate spirit.

I looked down at her to see her eyes closed with her lips parted as she pulled in huge breaths. I wanted her to open her eyes so I could see what was going on in her find. This was the first time my control snapped with her. I was always gentle when it came to her and I wanted to shield her from my dark side.

I pressed a quick kiss to her lips and left her there to gather her bearings. I took a small cloth in the bathroom and held it under the water. Marcella had not moved. Not even when I spread her legs and began to clean our pleasure. I looked up at her to see a small smile gracing her lips and some tightness loosened in my chest.

I threw the cloth away and crawled up to her kissing both her eyelids as gently as possible. “Please tell me you are okay?”

Instantly her eyes snapped open and she looked at me with confusion brewing in her eyes, “What do you mean?”

“I was too rough with you today. I’m sorry mia belleza.”

She stared at me for a couple of seconds but it was enough for her the tightness to return back in my chest with a vengeance. I moved to pull back to give her some space when suddenly she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me. “Baby.” I sighed and tried to pull back when she instantly released me and pushed me on my back and rolled on top to straddle me.

Her eyes, now clear and intense, bore into mine with an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. “Killian, listen to me,” she said, her voice steady and firm. “You were not too rough. You never are. I trust you completely. You always know where my limits are.”

Her words were a balm to my frayed nerves, but still, the guilt lingered. “Marcella,” I began, but she silenced me with a finger on my lips.

“No, Killian. You need to stop doubting yourself. What just happened between us? I loved every second of it. I want it to happen again..”

I searched her face for any sign of hesitation, any hint that she was just saying what she thought I needed to hear. But all I saw was sincerity and a fierce determination to make me understand her truth. She cupped my face in her hands and shook my head. I swear its astonishing how much power she has over me because someone else would have been dead to even think about touching me this way. “I never want you to hide any part of yourself from me, Killian. I want to experience every part of you. Please.”

The weight on my chest began to lift, replaced by a warmth that spread through me. I reached up to cup her face, my thumb tracing the outline of her cheek. I took a hold of her nape and pulled to kiss her the way i always want to. The kiss was all gratitude and acceptance and I loved every part of it.

In that moment, I realized just how much I had changed because of her. Marcella had not only softened my edges but had also given me a deeper understanding of myself. With her, I was learning to embrace vulnerability, to confront my fears and insecurities head-on. Not that anyone but me will ever know about this.

Our moment was interrupted when a sound of growling echoed between us. We pulled back with a laugh and I saw the love brewing in her eyes for me. “*Sei il mio cuore,la mia bellissima moglie*." I whispered.

“What does that mean?”

“You are my heart, my beautiful wife.” With a final kiss I jumped off the bed with her still wrapped around me. “Let's get you fed. Don't want you getting, what do you people call it, hangry on me.”

She laughed and smacked my back and then wrapped herself further tightly around me and I could not shake off the smile off my face.

I took her to the kitchen and sat her beautiful naked ass on the bar stool and started looking for something for us both to eat. “I will make us a sandwich and then later for dinner I will take you out to eat.”

I turned to look at her when I did not get a response from her and saw her zone out with a faraway look in her eye.

I took out the ingredients and went to stand in front of her. I turned the stool with her in my direction. “What are you thinking?”

She sighed heavily and fell forward with her head on my chest. “Everything.”

“And what does this everything entail?” I ran my finger in her hair.

“How we met.” I tensed at her words. Those were the darkest days in our lives. Hers more than mine. “A lot has happened between us, Killian. Do you ever think we are normal?”

Her question felt like a punch in the gut.

I paused, feeling the weight of her words settle between us. "Normal," I echoed, the word feeling foreign on my tongue. What did normal even mean for us? Our relationship had been forged in the fires of chaos and darkness, yet it had emerged stronger than anything I had ever known.

I lifted her chin so that her eyes met mine. "Marcella, our journey hasn't been typical, and we are far from conventional. But normal? I don't think that word applies to us. What we have is real, it's raw, and it's ours. That's what matters."

She sighed, a mixture of relief and contemplation. "I guess you're right. Normal is overrated anyway." She offered me a small smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes.

I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her. "We've faced our demons together and come out the other side. That means more than any label ever could. You're my heart, my reason. Nothing else matters."

Her head rested on my chest, and I felt her relax into me. "I know, Killian. Sometimes I just need to hear it."

"Always," I promised, kissing the top of her head. "I'll remind you as many times as you need."

We stayed like that for a moment, drawing strength from each other. Finally, I pulled back and gave her a reassuring smile. "Now, let's get you fed. We don't want any more deep thoughts on an empty stomach."

She laughed, the sound like music to my ears. "Alright, alright. Feed me, husband."

I turned back to the counter, quickly assembling sandwiches with precision. As I worked, I couldn't help but reflect on how far we'd come. From the shadows that had once threatened to consume us to this moment of simple, domestic bliss.

“Hmm, what would your men say seeing you make a sandwich for your wife.” I heard amusement rolling off her words.

A smile tugged up my lips. “Fuck them. I will make my wife a sandwich or a gourmet meal if I want to. I dare them to say shit about us.” I placed a plate with her sandwich in front of her and stood on the other side of the counter and ate mine.

She immediately gasped and I raised my eyebrows. “I just remembered. I have to go to my apartment.”

I frowned at her words. “Why is that? You have everything you need at home.”

She smiled but it was completely mischievous. “I have something of yours I want to show you.”

“What is it?”

“I will show you when you take me there.”

I finished my sandwich and waited for her to finish her.

As soon as she was done, she took our plates and washed them off all the while I was counting my lucky stars. She turned around me and looked at me with a different sort of hunger from which we just satiated. She moved around me with a smile and I knew I would follow her to the deepest level of hell.