Chapter 33

Asire.

I woke up a few times the next morning before actually being awake. The first time was when one of the mothers was screaming at her child downstairs. Then Reggie screaming at the mother to shut the hell up. Due to all the stress and running around, I was exhausted enough to drift back to sleep after that. The second time was when Loki shifted around and eventually got out of bed. Seconds later the shower started up.

The third and final time I woke, was when the shower went off. I yawned and stretched, but made no other move to get out of my warm bed. The covers were up to my chin and the pillows were all fluffy. Outside of this bed, I had to hunt down people in love with mass genocide and kidnapping, deal with a grieving mother and my house being used for its original purpose— safe house. None of that was nearly as pleasant as my warm bed.

Besides, I couldn’t brush my teeth until Loki got out of the bathroom.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the comfy silence for a few minutes more. I was wide awake, so there wasn’t much chance of falling back asleep.

I heard the bathroom door open and slit my eyes. It was only cracked. Loki peeked out and saw that I was still in bed and he must have thought I was still asleep. Because he walked out… naked. The second he did, I realized that I hadn’t done a load of laundry, so there weren’t any towels and he must have forgotten to get clothes. Because he was naked. Very, very…all kinds of naked.

My entire body lit up like a torch. The warmth spreading through me and pooling between my legs.

Loki was over six and a half feet tall, if only by a small margin. Every inch of that was covered in muscle. Not the workout kind of muscle, that men who just want to look good aim for, but the kind that came from using your body as a weapon. Hard, smooth limbs that had the grace of a fighter. Damp from the shower, which really shouldn’t have been more appealing. At all.

Those hard packed muscles shifted as he moved, drawing my eye in ways that I didn’t like. The movements unhampered by body hair, because he had almost none. They flexed in his legs while he walked and in his shoulders when he grabbed his suitcase and picked it up. He turned around and started walking back to the bathroom. It was just as hypnotizing as the front view had been. His broad back with those thick shoulders. All that power contained.

The second the door was closed, I breathed out in relief.

Suddenly, it was too fucking hot under the covers. I kicked them off violently. Anger sparked, not directed at Loki— I highly doubt he would have risked it if he thought I was awake —but at myself. My mind was finally catching up to what my body was trying to tell me. I was attracted to Loki. I’d never had this happen to me.

I stared down at my traitorous body and commanded it to stop all its distractions with Loki. It might have worked too, but… He’d been really naked. His chest was impressive and, much to my annoyance, my hands just wanted to run over all those muscles.

Damn it.

The bathroom door opened again and he stepped out, fully dressed this time. His hair was pulled back in the ponytail he usually kept it in and his honey colored eyes were darker than normal. I wiped all expression from my face before he turned to look at me. I was supremely glad I had too, because his expression was closed off. Harsher than I’d ever seen it before.

“Morning,” he said.

“Morning.” All that heat drained from my body and left me strangely cold. Since I hadn’t done laundry, like I hadn’t found another cot for me to sleep on, I had run out of oversized shirts. I was wearing a tank-top, like I usually did, but suddenly it didn’t feel like enough to cover me. I brought my legs up so that my knees covered my chest, but it still didn’t feel like enough.

“I’ll be downstairs,” he said, turning to leave. Nothing in his words should have left me feeling like this. It was his face. So distant. More so than he’d been the entire time we’d known each other. Sure, it had only been a few days, but it had been a long few days. And a tiring few days as well.

Fed up with myself, I got off the bed and marched to the bathroom. There was no reason Loki shouldn’t be closed off with me. It was not like he owed me anything. Actually, the opposite was true. Furthermore, I wasn’t going to pursue this weird attraction. He had a Family out in New Mexico and I was Orphaned in Seattle. That had Bad Idea written all over it. Not to mention, he just lost his mate four years ago. That may be more than acceptable by society’s standards, but Legions? We don’t get over things like that. If he started dating again, it would be a miracle. There was no way he would waste his time with a lost cause like me.

Just thinking about dating… My stomach turned sour. The idea of being that close to someone. Letting them touch me in anyway. Letting them see inside my head… If there was food in my stomach, it’d be in the toilet right now. Nope. I was a walking disaster, there was no reason for me to inflict myself on another person. Especially if I didn’t hate them.

So, I brushed my teeth, combed my hair and changed into a suitable outfit. Right before leaving my room I, with all my might, shoved that little voice in the back of my head into a box. I didn’t need to start remembering how angry he got with Michael yesterday for calling me a whore. I hadn’t cared. I was used to being called all kinds of names. I wasn’t used to people getting upset about it. That little voice needed to shut the fuck up, though, so I silenced it.

The house was subdued today. The children were practically zombies in front of the television. As for everyone else? Preparing for war. We had vampires and werewolves to deal with.

I chose not to look at Loki when I got into the dining room, where everyone was stationed. Until I sorted things out, I’d rather not get any closer with him. I was already dreading when Billy and Regory had to leave. The last thing I needed was to get attached to someone else.

Sunbeam was downstairs as well. She had been looking better last night, but this morning? She radiated health. Better than I’d seen her since she arrived in the city. Her skin was glowing and her eyes were bright. She looked like the epitome of wellbeing.

Still. I’d never met a faerie, but I’d had information beaten into me. If she needed the blood to survive, there was a good chance her own was degrading. If she didn’t have the vampires to take care of her? She probably would have died when she was a teenager.

I understood why the Herons had decided not tell me. After last night’s meeting they probably were positive that they had made the right choice. Some of us were dangerous. The Orphans are all technically Open legions, but that doesn’t keep them in line. You can want people dead so you have power, but not want everyone dead.

It was why we were in Seattle.

Their decision had been the right one. I shouldn’t have gotten hurt the way I did. No matter. I was mostly over it now, anyway. Having worse problems helps with that kind of thing.

Reggie gave me a look when I walked into the room. I was always the last one up, but it wasn’t my fault. I worked the night shift at a fucking pawnshop. I was used to getting up at eleven after getting home at two-thirty, showering and crashing. She was lucky I was awake right now.

“All right,” Reggie said. “We have vampires and werewolves to put in their place. Lixa, I want you to stay here with Ella.”

The girl grimaced, but nodded. She still wasn’t well enough to leave on her own and if she did kill herself? Then Lixa could clean it. Washing dust off the floors and bedding is far less traumatizing than blood. Legions didn’t leave their dead to rot.

“Asire, you and I are going to deal with the vampires,” Reggie continued. Her brown eyes were sparked with rage.

I’d go with her if for no other reason than making sure she didn’t take on Debienne in her own territory. The two of them had hated each other for longer than I’d been here and that hatred was a ripe thing.

“Okay,” I said. “Who else?”

She looked around the room thoughtfully. “We need someone other than Lixa to stay with the children. Sunbeam and Shade can do that,” she declared without looking at either of them.

The vampire, Shade, nodded. It’d be disastrous letting Debienne see him. An intruder on her territory. She had no claim to Seattle, but instincts are harder to convince about that kind of thing. Technically, we legions had no claim on it either, but that didn’t stop us from chasing away all the Annihilists.

Sunbeam glowered, however. Like she didn’t enjoy being on house arrest. In all fairness, I was sure some of it had to do with Shade’s attraction to her instead of her sickness.

Thinking of that brought the image of Loki naked to mind. Fuck. Was this what my day was looking like? Thinking of all his smooth skin…

“Henrik, I want you to deal with Basil,” she continued. “You can take Loki, Wynn and Regory. Asire and I will take Dovie and Billy,” she finally decided. She looked Loki in the eye and dared him to contradict her. It wouldn’t be smart of either of them to argue. A fight between them would end…badly.

Loki just nodded his head. “I’ve had some experience dealing with unruly werewolves,” he said. “I think I’ll be able to handle it.”

Reggie raised her eyebrows. “Okay, then. The sun is up, so we should be heading out.”

Dealing with Debienne when she was trapped by sunlight… This wasn’t going to end well. Of course, knowing Seattle, it would be hidden by clouds before we got to her.

Lixa headed upstairs. Shade and Sunbeam went into the media room, where the children were still worshipping the television. I hadn’t moved the remote down to an accessible location, so I’d have to speak with whoever turned it on for them. Probably a parent, thinking they could mess with things in my house because it technically wasn’t my house.

Once again, we took my truck. For someone who always criticizes it, Reggie sure likes using her a lot. I pointed this out to her as I was backing out of the garage and easing my way around the other cars in the driveway.

Reggie rolled her eyes. “Don’t flatter the truck,” she told me. “You’re just the best driver we have. Might as well utilize it.”

I snorted, letting her know exactly what I thought of that statement.

He’d been really naked…

The thought came out of nowhere. Ugh… Why did this have to happen now, of all times? With him? Twenty-one years without an inkling of sexual attraction and then it all gets dumped on me in one week? No easing into it, no hints. Just BAM! Here’s this hot dude in your bed. Deal with it.

My stomach rolled again. I resisted the urge to pull over and retch.

“Asire?” Reggie asked. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said, keeping the sour note out of my voice. I was suddenly quite happy I hadn’t eaten before we left. I didn’t think my driving skill would accommodate vomiting out the window.

“Asire,” Reggie said again. “If you think, for a second, that I believe that lie, then you’re naïve. I’ve known you too long for that shit. Fess up.”

I looked in my rearview mirror. Billy was sitting behind me. Her ice blue eyes looking up to meet mine. Dovie, on the other side, was also watching, but more with the curiosity of a stranger. She may be sharing a bed with Reggie and she might be really close with my cousin, but to me? She was a stranger.

Reggie rolled her eyes. “You love Billy and Dovie is a sweetheart who’ll never do anything to hurt another person unless they really deserve it. Which you don’t. So start talking or I’ll get really annoying.”

“Mission accomplished,” I said dryly.

“I’ll sing.”

Well, that’ll get my yap going. She sounds like a broken foghorn when she sings.

However, I couldn’t get the words up my throat. I love Reggie and Billy. It wasn’t even Dovie that was keeping me from talking. It was the way my stomach was swinging back and forth and the way my body still heated at the thought of all that naked skin. The contradiction shouldn’t have hit me like this. It had always been a hope of mine that I’d eventually have a mate, but first I’d have to be attracted to someone. I just never thought that becoming attracted to someone would have my instincts screaming that I had to get away, run or suffer. Run fast.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. Pure force of will kept me from snapping chunks off it. I wasn’t used to being afraid.

I hadn’t answered fast enough. Reggie started belting out Girls Just Wanna Have Fun at the top of her lungs. It felt like a dozen kittens were playing tug of war with my ears.

“Jesus Christ,” Dovie said from the back. “No one is good enough in bed to put up with this shit.”

I agreed with her. “Reggie!”

“THE PHONE RINGS…!” Reggie continued hollering, badly, right in my ear.

This needed to stop. Now. “I saw Loki naked!” I screamed to get her to shut the hell up. It worked—sorta.

“WHAT?” three girls yelled at the top of their lungs, all with equal amounts of disbelief.

Well. At least Reggie wasn’t “singing” anymore. I know why Reggie was shocked and I could guess why Billy was, but Dovie’s surprise didn’t make sense.