Chapter 32

The crowd stirred. Several of them looked over at Ella. I couldn’t see her without taking my eyes off them, but I could only imagine that she looked terrible.

“Does anyone have anything to say?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Michael said. “Again, why don’t you send your pet whore after them? At best she’ll fuck them into submission, at worst she’ll kill them. Then the rest of us won’t have to worry. The wardens will be after her and the other races will be scared shitless.”

The anger in my stomach spread to my chest. My eyes narrowed on him and I wanted nothing more than to hurt him. He… He deserved to be in this city. Now more than ever, I understood why Reggie was so adamant that Asire didn’t belong. After listening to him talk…

“Michael,” Reggie said, exasperated. “That is not about to happen. So cool your jets.”

“Why not?” Michael asked. “I bet she’d like it.”

I was on my feet before I realized I had moved. The entire room turned to look at me, including the man I was about to kill. He didn’t deserve to live. He was a little too close to the Annihilist side for my liking and he kept insulting Asire. She hadn’t said a word the whole time and no one looked surprised. So he’d done it before. He’d insulted her before and he needed to suffer for it.

Before I could take a step, the girl in question had pushed me back from the table and was standing in front of me. “Hey, Loki,” she whispered while the other legions pretended they weren’t listening. “What do you think you're doing?” Her voice was very mild. Gentle almost. Like she was dealing with a wild animal.

Then again, I was thinking of killing someone, so maybe I was looking a little wild at the moment.

“And another one bites the dust,” Michael called.

My eyes moved to him.

“Don’t you dare,” Asire said.

“Why not?” I asked, looking back at her. Was that…amusement in her eyes? It caught my attention and almost distracted me from the way my hands were clenching and unclenching. The way the rage, the unexplainable anger, was burning through my system as surely as fire burned through a piece of paper.

“You need to calm down,” she said.

“I don’t agree,” I answered.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. “Fine, then.” She planted a hand on my chest and shoved me backward. My knees got the chair and I instinctively sat down before I toppled over it. Before I could process what just happened, Asire sat down as well. In my lap.

The anger vanished.

“Proceed,” Asire said, looking at Reggie.

The woman was smiling and there was a look of surprise in her eyes. “Of course.”

“Wait,” Asire said. She looked at Michael. “If you do not shut your mouth and keep it shut for the rest of this meeting, Lixa will escort you to your room. When I get there later, if she hasn’t beaten you senseless, I’ll make sure you’ll wish you were never born. Understand?” Her voice was completely cold. Devoid of the emotion that I had gotten used to hearing from her.

The man looked at her for half a second. Because that was all he could manage. He diverted his eyes and I barely heard him mumbled. “I understand.”

“Good. Now proceed,” Asire said.

Reggie addressed the room again. Several people spoke up on what they thought they should do. A handful were brave— or stupid —enough to say that we should let the child go. They were shot down quickly. Violently. Ella didn’t even have to say anything. It was the rest of the Orphans who couldn’t believe someone was so malicious.

Of course, all of this I was barely aware of. Most of my focus was on the girl sitting in my lap. She didn’t move around much. She was too busy watching the others, making sure nothing got out of hand. I was too busy trying, desperately, not to get turned on. Idiotic, really, since this wasn’t a sexy situation. She was trying to keep me from killing someone. Yet, my brain couldn’t get past the knowledge that her very attractive ass was sitting right on my dick.

Somehow, I kept myself from tensing up and managed to absorb what was being said in the meeting while the rest of me was begging for her to move and never move at the same time.

Guilt ate at me throughout the whole thing, as well. Eve would be so ashamed of me right now.

“So,” Reggie said, at last, “We’re agreed. We’ll take care of the vampires and werewolves. And then we’ll get our girl back. Anyone who doesn’t like this plan can shove their arguments up their ass, got it. Good. Dismissed.” She waved her hand and then sat down.

There was a moment of stillness, before they started filing out. Lixa unblocked the door and watched them leave. Looking every person in the eye and daring them to make a move on her. All confrontation and no resolution, that one.

Asire also got up. Thankfully. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep things from getting awkward.

I breathed a sigh of relief and saw Dovie watching me from the corner of my eye. I chose not to acknowledge that because something wasn’t right here. Asire and Reggie were talking, but I wasn’t paying attention, for different reasons.

It was a natural reaction, I suppose. A pretty girl gets too close and your body reacts, but… Mine doesn’t do that. I’d been around lots of pretty girls since Eve died. I’d shook their hands, bumped into them, talked to them. One memorable time, I even had one walk into my office wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels. All of them got the same reaction from me. Namely, nothing.

It was part of being empty without your mate. It took time, lots of time and effort, to pull yourself together enough to even think about having another mate. I didn’t want another one. I never would. I couldn’t betray Eve like that. Having someone else attached to me in that way. Want them around in that way. It would be like throwing everything I had with Eve away. I couldn’t do that to her.

I couldn’t do that to myself.

So why, after all these years, did I have a reaction to a girl?

Dovie’s comment came to mind. You’ve been paying attention to Asire.

No. Nope. No.

You’ve been paying attention to Asire.

Like you haven’t been paying attention to anyone in years. That’s what she meant. I’ve been noticing her. I’ve been checking her out, even though I hadn’t realized it at the time. I’ve been… paying attention to Asire.

No. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.

Ridiculous.

The anger I had toward that man was… nothing. Really. It could have been anyone he was insulting and I would have gotten that mad. If he had insulted Reggie like that I would have wanted to kill him too.

Liar.

This…isn’t happening.

My chest was starting to feel tight. She was just a girl someone in my Family was related to. I didn’t want her.

Then why did I get so angry? Why did I get so turned on when all she did was sit in my damn lap? If I didn’t want her then what the hell was with all this panic? The surety that something wasn’t right. The denial I’ve been in all day. If I didn’t want her, if I wasn’t interested, then why did it matter so goddamned much that I know her secrets?

To help Billy and Regory?

Bullshit. I couldn’t help them any more if I knew than when I was in the dark.

It bothered me that I’d hurt her. If I didn’t want her, if she was just another girl I ran into, it wouldn’t matter all that much to me. Because I did what was best for my Family. Like I always did. Screw it if that meant a few people didn’t get what they wanted in the long run.

I wanted her.

And I desperately didn’t want her.