Chapter 98

I should never have come here.

Josh takes a sip of his iced coffee, eyes perusing the documents he laid out on our table. I want to think this is a trap but there is nothing wrong with what I have read so far but he has been chilly. Frigid towards me like we aren’t friends. I should be the one upset.

Drumming my fingers on the table, I tuck a braid behind my ear. “I’m sorry for the other day, I swear it was a mistake.” He nods, I lick my lips and gulp. “How have you been?”

“Fine.”

On a good day, he would have returned the question, I would never feel awkward around him. I let my eyes roam the eatery to avoid the temptation of smacking him. He brought the papers. He should know their contents, but the seriousness etched on his face makes it easy to believe he hasn’t read them. My shoulders sag, will we ever be friends?

Most of the round tables are empty, there is no one behind the counter with pastries. A couple sit at the far end, the man has his back to me and the lady’s head is bent over a file they seem to exchange at intervals. It is my first time here. I came on Josh’s request. Maybe I should have picked a venue myself. Tucking my hands between my legs, I allow a few seconds pass before stealing a chip from his plate. He pauses to stare at me, I wait.

“How are you?” he finally asks and I chuckle.

“Stressed.” His eyes scan my face, his mouth opens, he closes it with a tight smile. I sigh. I wish he will ask the obvious question. We are like old friends struggling to reconnect.

My phone pings with a message from David, I open it without replying. The name he gave me leads to nowhere and I don’t feel like stirring a hornet’s nest to satisfy my curiosity. Casting a glance at Josh, all the questions from the past rise to the surface.

“Why did you kiss me?” I whisper. “Don’t lie.”

His hands run through his face, a typical Brandon move, he releases his breath and I feel bad for asking. I twirl my hair around my finger, he stares long enough for me to avert my gaze to the fashionable cuts on my jeans. I wonder how long until I can’t fit into it.

“I like you.”

With my head downcast, I say, “I am married.” Though Brandon warned me, his reply still surprises me. I raise my head, he is staring at me with open admiration, I clear my throat and pick another chip to keep my mouth busy until I can gather my thoughts.

He reaches for my hand but retracts it before it comes in contact with mine. “I’m sorry.”

The emotions running through his face has my heart slowing down. Anger prickles my skin. We were friends for so long yet I didn’t notice his glaring feelings for me. I don’t let myself dwell on this new realisation. Maybe it is a good thing, breaking up with him to be with his brother would have hurt. I would never have gotten married to Brandon. No one would switch my pills. Sinking my nails into my knees, I try to focus on the present.

“Josh, I don’t want to lose your friendship,” I tell him with a shaky smile and his lips curl into a grin that will have panties dropping. He is a good person, foolish sometimes but an asset. “But I am married now.” He nods, but I don’t think he gets it. I push my chair closer like I am about to tell him a big secret. “I love your brother with all my heart.”

“I’m better than him, El, a better fit for you,” he says without a trace of arrogance and my heart hurts from the painful truth his words carry. “You know this. It’s easy for us.”

Masking my inner turmoil behind a practised smile, I shake my head until I can convince myself he is wrong. But traitorous thoughts continue invading my mind. Supporting his statements with memories from our shared past. Images of us laughing, fighting. We are compatible. It is easy for us to be friends which is a great start for a happy home. He has his fair share of troubles as we all do but communication will never be an issue for us.

Life—marriage life will be kinder to us with him as my husband rather than Brandon, the master of unending baggage. Guilt stabs my chest at that thought. I give myself a mental slap for allowing my emotions to get the best of me. Couples fight all the time and I must be losing my mind to think it okay to fantasise about life with my husband’s brother.

Brandon has his demons, don’t we all?

“For better for worse,” I say, “till death do us part. I took a vow and I intend to honour it.” The eatery goes quiet like the people present are listening in on our conversation and my voice lowers. “He might not be the best brother to you but he has been the best husband.” Josh arches a brow, I gulp and nod. “I don’t want you two hating each other.”

Sarcasm laces Josh words when he says in a haughty voice that has me cringing, “Hate is a strong word.” He uncrosses his arms and leans forward. “Why did you marry him?”

“I fell in love,” is all I say with a cringey smile. He scoffs, I place my clasped hands on the table as if daring him to challenge me. Whatever issues he has with Brandon has nothing to do with me, it cannot be resolved today. “What happened?” Taking huge gulps of air, I ask, “What did your brother do that’s so bad you don’t want to talk to or about him?”

Josh smiles, a dark sinister smile that has me leaning back in my chair. “Ask him.”

“Was it a woman?” His dark gaze remains on me. “I love Brandon, I really do. I love him.”

“That’s too bad for you.”

“Josh, please.” His hand rakes through his hair. “Why can’t I have you and have him? We have been friends for so long and I am...” I take in a deep breath. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you I was getting married but it shouldn’t affect our friendship.” Motioning to the file in front of him, I add, “If we can’t set aside our differences, how can we work together?”

Sweeping his hair to one side, he folds his arms across his chest like he is a chief judge observing a contestant. My hand closes over the bottle of water on my table, I take a swig from it. Again and again until the bottle is empty, but my throat still feels parched.

“And what does your husband think about us working together?” Annoying Josh showed up a few times in our years of friendship but now, he is everywhere. My lips press into a thin line, Brandon has as much say in this as I do in his business with Sophia. Josh laughs. “I don’t think he will like that very much. I know I won’t.” That mischievous glint creeps into his eyes, I ready myself. “I kissed you once, who says I won’t do it again?”

“You won’t.”

The smile he flashes me has chills running down my spine, I look away. “You have too much faith in me.” My head snaps to his face, that line sounds too familiar. “El,” he says, breaking our stare-off. “I’ll try.” I let my lips curve into a smile, he chuckles and I grin. “I don’t want to lose your friendship.” I sniff, touch the edge of my index finger to my eyes.

“I’m sorry for kissing you.”

Tilting my head, I ask, “Are you really sorry?”

“No.” Laughter spills from my lips, I sigh in content, my sassy but honest friend is back. He folds his hands behind his head. “But I am sorry for the troubles my action caused.” I smile. “It will never happen again, I promise. I will always be on my best behaviour.”

My phone pings again. David. Doesn’t he stop? I should block him. Josh notes the change in my mood, he asks about it and I throw caution to the wind. “Who is Brendan Stark?”

The smile on his face disappears, he bursts out laughing, a sound too dry to be real and my chest tightens in anticipation. “I don’t know.” Liar. My brows shoot up. “Ask him.”

We stare at each other for painful seconds, I give up first. To think I believe Brandon is a hard nut to crack. I push the empty bottle on the table. “What about your parents?” Josh seems to relax at the new question, I know he will answer when he offers me a smile.

“Alive.”

On cue, I palm my stomach and an internal debate begins. They will be grandparents soon but they don’t even know we are married. Maybe they do and they don’t care.

“You hate them too?”

Josh laughs, his eyes gleam with mirth and I relax in my seat. “I don’t hate anybody.”

“Hmmm.” I nod. We settle into a comfortable silence while he finishes his coffee. “Are you still in contact with them?” He nods and a yearning for the same with them rips through me. I want to know what the parents of my husband look like. The little things about Brandon’s childhood only his parents can remember. “Can I have their contact?”

Laughter rings through the eatery, the couple I saw earlier rise from their seat. “I don’t think Brandon wants that and you shouldn’t ask me questions meant for your husband.”

Josh’s voice draws me from them. My overimaginative mind must be playing tricks on me again, that man closely resembles Brandon. I shake my head to clear the image, I didn’t get a view of his face and I already assumed him to be Brandon. I should call him.

“El.” My gaze returns to Josh. “Did you ask him?”

The man turns, my reply dies on my lips. It is Brandon, in flesh and blood with an arm around another woman’s waist. Apparently, he didn’t miss me. Josh follows my gaze. I clear my throat and offer him a smile that is more to reassure myself. She is nobody.

“El.”

“It’s fine,” I hear myself saying but the voice sounds strange. “I need their numbers.”