Chapter 99

Images splash across my screen, pictures of Brandon and the lady from the eatery. The caption under the post describes her and their relationship, in two words: business partners. I exit the site. A heaviness settles in my chest when the link to the post catches my eyes. It is the last message Brandon sent me. An explanation and a link, he wanted me to think nothing of what I saw. Because it is nothing. My imagination played me.

Cursing myself doesn’t work, the words on my screen refuse to disappear. I jump from the bed and pace the length of my room. I fucked up. How could I send that to him?

I pause at the door. He should have called. I facepalm, why would he? I told him to fuck off. Fuck. My face scrunches. But it was a mistake. The text was for David. My fingers hover above the call button like it has been doing since I sent him that text. I don’t call.

The insecure part of me keeps replaying the image of his arm on her slim waist. It was a casual touch, a simple move that lasted less than a second but God, help me, it felt like it lasted an eternity. Why is he touching other women? My heart constricts at the thought of them being more than business partners, I know people mix business with pleasure all the time. But Brandon can’t be one of them. He won’t even flirt back. My lips pucker, I hugged Josh, I shouldn’t be so mad at him. But Josh is different, someone he knows.

Someone who wants to kiss me.

Seconds roll into minutes, I slide to the floor with my back against the door, phone in my hand. My eyes centre on the men shoes on display, I don’t know how I got here but I like what I see. I continue swiping until I settle on a pair in his size. My face splits into a grin that fades at the exorbitant price written under the picture. That much for a shoe?

Shoving the negative thoughts to the back of my mind, I skim the seller’s reviews. He is my husband, no amount is too small for him, and the boots don’t cost half of what my car does. Besides, he will do more than this for me, when it comes to my needs, prices don’t matter. My shoulders sag, if only he will put the same effort into making our lives better.

But he is. Or he’s trying to.

I massage my temple to chase the brewing headache. The nausea has gone, my appetite is better with Ma feeding me everything she thinks I need but the headache comes often. It has to be my punishment for leaving my husband this long without a word or reply to his texts or calls. Giggles spill from my lips, how the tables have turned. But I am tired.

Someone calls me from outside my room, a knock sounds on the door. “El.”

“Ma?”

Opening the door to reveal my sweet mother, my eyes follow her finger to the window. I stare at her back, confused and too annoyed at myself to indulge her. Staying away from the person you love for this long can do that to you. I don’t know what I want anymore.

“Brandon is here.”

I sprint to stand beside her. His BMW is parked in front of the tall building that houses our flat. Though he is still seated in his car, I can recognise him from miles away. I cast a mournful look at my jumpsuit, shriek, and scurry to my wardrobe for a change of outfit.

Something sexy since I haven’t seen him in weeks. I sift through my clothes with a sigh, I owe Josh a better explanation for leaving abruptly. And David needs to fuck off. My life is in shambles but I can pretend to be a happy wife for the next few minutes. I miss him.

No outfit seems good enough, I throw my hands up and chew on my lips. My husband is here, I have to look my best. The tiny voice in my head tries to remind me Brandon won’t give a damn if I show up in rags or a cement bag. But I can’t stop fretting. In his suit, he looks good, I have to look the same or maybe more. He should have called ahead.

Ma’s hands rest on my shoulders. “Calm down.” I let out a dry laugh. So easy for her to say. I am in her home. I need to be in mine. “Stress is not good for the baby,” she adds.

The doctor said that too. I nod, quiet as she guides me to sit on the edge of the bed. She offers me one Capri Sun pack from the secret stash under my former reading table and I bury my face into my palms without accepting it. Nothing escapes this woman. She caused it. She shouldn’t have awakened my Capri Sun obsession. Her chuckles mock me as she retreats, I peep through my fingers to see her standing by my wardrobe.

On her return with two hangers, she lifts the one with a gown and my hands drop to my thighs. “This?” Lowering it to raise the other outfit to her eye level, she says, “Or this.”

I select the gown. It will be easier for him to slide his hands under. Lord knows I missed him. His touch. I hope he has too. With Ma’s help, I get dressed, by the time the doorbell rings, I am ready. After one last glance and a gentle shove from Ma, we saunter out.

The wall clock in the parlour chimes six. Pa should be on his way. I have no idea why Ma left the pharmacy earlier but I am grateful for her presence as we approach the front door. My hand trembles as I reach for the knob, she giggles and pushes me gently to the side.

When I give an encouraging nod, she opens the door and the sight before me snatches my breath. I gulp. Brandon’s fist is raised as if to knock, his gaze wanders from me to Ma, then returns to me. Opening my mouth to welcome him, the words die in my throat when he flashes us a warm smile and I wordlessly collect the gift hamper from him.

“Hi,” he says.

His nervousness is laughable but I am worse, I can’t even form a coherent reply. Seeing him that day should have prepared me for now but it didn’t. One thing is for sure, I have missed him. Too much. My eyes rake over his face, the instant urge to pull him in for a kiss after crushing him in a much-needed hug takes over me and my grip tightens on the hamper. His beard is unusually long and his hair has grown enough for me to pull.

But they don’t tell as much story as his eyes which convey heart-wrenching sadness. He does nothing but takes in my movements as if giving me a chance to decide what I want with him. It’s up to me and I want him. I lower the hamper to the floor, take another step forward and palm his face. He leans into my touch. I whimper as tingles shoot up my arms. Tears line my eyes, tears of happiness and I sniff, pressing our foreheads together.

“Baby,” I whisper. “I missed you.” His arms loop around my waist, he drags me close and I sigh. Our eyes meet, conveying the things we can’t voice out. “I missed you so much.”

Brandon’s mouth opens, I stand on my toes as our breathing mingles. Our lips are a few inches from meeting when someone clears their throat behind us. We jump apart. Our heads snap to the source. Ma. Her arms are folded across her chest and she looks far from impressed. I come to stand in front of Brandon but the sharp look she cuts me has my feet pushing me to the side. I love my husband but he is on his own in this case.

Pleading with my eyes for her to take it easy on him, my shoulders deflate when her nose crinkles. She stalks towards him. His only visible reaction is the clenching of his fists before shoving them into his pockets. No one sees what’s coming next, especially me and a cry tears through my lips when Ma’s palm connects with Brandon’s cheek.

“That’s for making my baby cry,” she says in that no-nonsense voice that stops my legs from guiding me to my husband. Brandon’s head snaps to one side, colour rushes to that part of his face and she slaps his other cheek. “That’s for stressing my grandbaby.”