Chapter 78 Bread

Chapter 78 Bread
Anyssa's Pov ~

This sucks, I thought as once again I stared at the ceiling in my room.

I woke up this morning feeling determined and brave enough to go explore my home–a home that felt both familiar and strange. Now, to no surprise to anyone, I still was in my said room, unable to bring myself to cross the door.

Chanel gave me a soft look. “You don't have to beat yourself up like this ma'am.”

“Is it that obvious?” I asked, turning to look at her properly.

“You have been sighing and huffing for some time now.”

Damn.

“No one is giving you a deadline or anything like that,” she continued, arranging my clothes as she spoke. “You just have to take it easy and not rush the healing process.”

“What if my memories never come back? What if staying cooped up here is making the process longer?” I sighed. “I wish I wasn't so fucking afraid.”

She paused and stared at me for a while. “Have you ever thought about what you're afraid of?”

I blinked. Of course I've thought about it. I have had nothing to do but think this past week.

“Definitely. Things like what if…”

There was a knock on the door.

“Nyssa? Can I come in?”

Ronan.

The owner of 95% of my thoughts since I woke up and my husband…who seems to be a mix of bizarre and familiar.

“Nyssa?” He called again.

I swallowed. It hurt me to hear him try to sound calm when it was obvious that my current situation was also affecting him. My chest didn't just tighten from hurt, there was confusion too and rage.

Rage because I couldn't remember and because I couldn't remember, I just couldn't get myself to relax around him. To enjoy the love and warmth he so clearly wants to give.

“Nyssa, I brought breakfast.” It was faint but I could hear the resignation in his voice.

“I will go take the tray from him ma'am,” Chanel said in a soft voice.

I nodded, my words stuck in my throat.

“She still isn't ready to see you Sir,” I heard Chanel say as I shifted.

I didn't want to see the expression on his face. I know that if he looks crestfallen, I would cave in and comfort him like I want to.

But…that would just be giving him false hope.

“I don't want to have a conversation Nyssa.” A strange but pleasant sensation spread through my body and I was sure his eyes were on me. “I just brought breakfast.”

I blinked, trying to get rid of my tears.

“It's nothing much…just a simple breakfast consisting of bread, jam, tea and some chopped fruits,” he pleaded.

Holding my breath so that I don't sob, I shook my head a little.

I wasn't ready. I was still a coward today.

There was a beat of silence. “Alright. I will just wait outside.”

“You can just give it to me Sir. I will ensure that she eats as much as possible.”

No. Thank you Chanel, I would just prepare the bread and toast outside.”

“Okay.”

There was just the sound of the door closing as he left.

“You too are both equally stubborn,” she murmured and returned to her arrangements.

I sniffed but she didn't comment about it or the sight she caught of my wet pillow when she passed.

Grateful for the lack of comments, I finally allows myself to cry.

—-------------------------------------------

The plan was to spend the remaining time staring at Chanel as she worked and probably sleep off from boredom and the crying.

I knew my plan sucked the moment I heard him humming.

Two things…he was still here!!

I sat up and cleaned the tears from my cheeks. Sneaking a glance at Chanel, I noticed the small smirk on her face but she paid me no heed.

I moved to the door and sat in front of it…just because I needed to hear the song clearly.

What was he doing?

Why didn't he leave?

What was different about today? Normally, he gives Chanel the tray after I refuse to come out.

Fuck, was it our anniversary?!

The song distracted me again…This was the second thing, why did I know this song?

How did I even remember it? It definitely meant something to both of us.

But what?

I sat there listening, wondering if he also sat in the same position as I did, facing the door and in turn me.

Soon, I found myself humming along with him with such accuracy I was surprised.

“Ma'am?” Chanel called when I stopped and stood.

I looked at her, scared and excited at the same time. My heart fluttering, “I think…I think I want to go outside.”

She blinked at me then a wide grin spread on her lips.

“See? I knew you could do it.”

I nodded and glanced back at the door.

“You can go,” she said with a small laugh.

Nodding again, I grabbed the door knob. Fuck, my hand was shaking.

I opened the door with an inhale. The humming stop.

Ronan stared up at me with his eyes wide with shock and hope from his position on the floor.

He was sitting in the same position I was. The tray of food was in front of him and it looked like he was putting some jam on my bread.

“Nyssa,” he whispered.

I exhaled. My stomach filled with excited butterflies.

He looked tired but still, he was stunning. I knew that before hand but fuck…how did I bag such a fucking hot specimen?!

“Can…is the spot beside you free?” I asked, my voice small.

He smiled. “Of course.”

I sat, not close enough to touch him but I could still smell his scent. His scent that screamed man and warmth.

“That song…I remember it. I don't know where or how I know it, it's just…familiar.”

“That's because it's our song, your favourite song to be precise. It was also played on our wedding day,” he replied, the hope in his eyes so bright.

“Oh. I don't…” I frowned, angry and frustrated at myself.

“It's okay if you don't remember Nyssa,” he said calmly. “Bread?”

I blinked at him and the bread in his hand. Why was it so easy with him?

“Yes please.”