We walk through the crowd and I eventually catch Ben's eye. He stares at me before his eyes go to Dylan. He meets us by the door and I feel anxious. "Lacey," Ben says. "You're leaving?" "Yup," I nod. "This is my ex, Dylan." I introduce him. Dylan gives me a look like I'm crazy before he holds his hand out to Ben. "Nice to meet you, man." Ben shakes Dylan's hand. "Ben." "What are you doing here?" I ask Ben, looking for an explanation. "Just here with my buddy. I got real busy with work this past week and I needed a night out," he says, really innocently. I almost feel bad for being a bitch about it. This situation feels wrong and I need to get out of here. "I'll see you around, okay?" I say before I grab Dylan's hand and drag him out the doors. Dylan seems confused. "Who was that?" "The guy I hooked up with. The one I told you about." Dylan has an unreadable expression. "Hmm," he muses. "Are we staying up or what?" I ask, letting go of his hand. I start walking backwards towards the rest of downtown in hopes he'll say yes. A smile spreads on his face. "Hell yeah." Our next stop is another bar that's mostly filled with college students. We have a couple more drinks, talking nonsense to each other while we're at it. I have this scary feeling of things being natural again. Like I've been waiting for this moment of fun. And it's no coincidence that I'm with Dylan while it's happening. It always felt like this when we were together. We leave the bar and I feel myself stumbling slightly. Okay, I'm a little drunk now. Dylan seems to be in the same boat, but we end up laughing at each other. "C'mon," I tell him, grabbing his hand. "I know where we can go." We walk to the outskirts of downtown where there's a small park with a pond. I used to go there a lot when things went south with Dylan. It was a great thinking spot. At the park we step through the grass and my heels sink into the ground. I stop and yank them off to feel the grass between my toes. "You're so…" Dylan laughs and shakes his head instead of finishing his sentence. We plop down in the grass near the pond. There's a small fountain in the middle creating ripples in the water. I glance at my phone and realize it's barely one in the morning. Dylan lays back on the grass while I stay upright, watching the water. We stay silent, instead listening to the crickets chirping and the water splashing into itself. I wonder what he's thinking, so I ask him. "What's on your mind?" "Everything," he says. He's staring into the sky with his hands behind his head. "Like what though?" "Thinking about why I drank so much," he laughs. "The stars are moving." I let out a laugh and lay back next to him. The stars aren't quite moving for me yet, but I'm taken back to high school. The lights on Dylan's ceiling mimicked the stars and it's comforting to see the familiar image. My eyes shut and I imagine I'm in his room again. The way he rearranged the lights to make cute messages for me, especially before our high school graduation. That week he left me a message everyday and Derrick always let me in the house because he knew what Dylan was doing. "Can I ask you something?" I ask him, feeling dizzy as I open my eyes again. "Always," he says, not taking his eyes off the sky. "What we had in high school, it was real, right?" I always wondered if he felt the same way or if he thought it was just high school bullshit. I'd told Cora I had a real love and I want to believe it's true. He's quiet and I'm afraid to look at him. Afraid I might see his face and see a totally different person. "It was real," he says finally. The image of him being so nervous to tell me he liked me is so sweet in my mind, but sometimes all I see is him storming out of my dorm room. "The break up was pretty real too," he interrupts my thoughts. He says it so seriously, but he shakes his head and laughs. "Brutal, I should say." What a sobering thought. Brutal may be the right word now, but during that time it was completely agonizing. We'd fought so hard to be together and ultimately it didn't work. "You know what good came out of it though?" he asks me, shifting in the grass. "I never got to plan Anthony's party. I left again and he was pissed off at me for leaving everything a fucking mess. So he partied on his own, met his baby mama, and boom. Olivia was born nine months later." I can't believe he thinks of it that way. It's not a bad way of thinking. Maybe that was his coping mechanism. To think that we broke up, causing him to leave, causing Anthony to be upset, resulting in Olivia being born. "Where would Anthony be without Olivia?" I ask aloud. "I've asked him before," he starts. "He says he can't even imagine his life without her." Such an Anthony response. "I don't think I'll be as good of a dad as Anthony is," he sits up suddenly. He brings his legs closer to his chest. "Why do you say that?" I ask him. "Anthony has always had that paternal aspect about him. He takes care of everyone around him. I mean, even in high school he was always taking care of us," he says, smiling. "Well, taking care of me." "You'll be a great dad, Dylan." I just have a really strong feeling he will be. He laughs again, but doesn't say anything else. After a while he says, "I can't believe I'm here, drunk in a park with you." It sounds ridiculous, but it's entirely true. "I'm sorry, you know." His gaze is on the sky again. "For?" "For being such an asshole before we broke things off. I mean, I left you for weeks on end without a word and that was pretty shitty of me." He turns his attention to his hands and he lays back down. "I was a pretty sucky boyfriend." Having this conversation is strange, almost like a fever dream. I close my eyes again and I let myself seep into the cool grass.