Chapter 41 You Don’t Love Me
Iva’s P.O.V.
I spent three days falling apart in my apartment. Three days trying to understand how the person who once held me like I was his entire world could kiss someone else right in front of me, and then look me in the eyes and tell me I’m too old for him.
Three days of hell.
Three days replaying his cold words over and over in my head like a cruel song I can’t shut off. I kept wondering why he did that to me. Why did he turn from warmth to ice? Why the man who once whispered love into my skin suddenly decided I wasn’t good enough anymore.
Why did he leave me so broken?
I hate how the same hands that once held me so gently held someone else as if I never existed.
And I hate myself for still missing him. His warmth, his smile, his beautiful eyes, his presence. The way he used to look at me like I was something precious.
And now he’s here.
Acting as if he cares.
Like he has the right to stand in front of me and touch me like this.
No. Not after what he did. I'll not let him touch me. He lost that right.
He lost me.
Even if my heart aches for him—
Even if some part of me remembers how good it felt—
Even if I feel the pull of him like a gravity I can’t escape—
I will not give him that power again.
“I’m—“
Before he can even speak, I cut him off, glaring at him. “Why are you here, Will? Shouldn’t you be with your new girlfriend?”
As the words leave my lips, the memory of his kiss flashes in my mind, and it breaks my heart all over again.
“Iva, I can explain.”
“Explain? Really, Will? I don’t want to hear you.” As I stand up, my chair scrapes harshly against the floor, and I slam my hand on the table. My whole body is trembling, my eyes burning red with pain and anger.
I can see the guilt in his eyes. But why should I care? He hurt me like hell. He broke me into pieces.
I don’t care about him anymore.
“Just leave my house. You’ve already hurt me enough. Go to your girlfriend. I’m too old for you.”
He suddenly pulls me in his embrace, making my eyes widen in shock. “I’m not going anywhere, Iva. I’m ready for whatever punishment you want to give me, but I’m not leaving. Once I left you because of a misunderstanding and you made your condition like this, now I’m not going to repeat it.”
As soon as I feel his arms around me, I break down. “Why did you hurt me, Will? Why?” I cry hysterically, clutching his shirt. I feel so shattered.
All my anger vanishes and only hurt remains for a moment.
“Because I was too hurt to understand anything that day, Iva. When I saw you with that man at the cafe and heard your conversation with him, I thought you had deceived me. I thought you were going to leave me and marry someone else. But… I realised that I should’ve handled it in a mature way. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Finally, I got the answer to my question which had been disturbing me for three long days, but it didn’t give me any relief.
It hurts even more now. He says he loves me, but how can love exist without trust? Instead of speaking to me like a grown man, instead of looking me in the eyes and asking for the truth, he chose to break me with cruelty.
When someone truly loves you, they don’t rip you open just to watch you bleed. They don’t treat you like you’re disposable. Love doesn’t destroy. It protects, it listens, it believes.
The truth is he never loved me. This realisation brings fresh tears to my eyes. He never truly cared about me.
“But you did hurt me, Will.” I push him away with all the strength I have left in me and meet his gaze, my eyes filled with hurt. “You shattered my soul. You can’t even imagine what I’ve endured these past few days. I kept thinking I wasn’t enough for you. I tortured myself with questions, what was wrong with me? Why did you leave? Am I really getting old?”
He looks at me with his eyes full of regret. “I’m so sorry, Iva. I wasn’t in my senses after seeing you with that guy. Something possessed me that day and I hate myself for hurting you.”
“Nothing matters to me anymore now, Will.” As I say, tears trickle down my cheeks constantly. “That day you proved that your anger is stronger than our love.”
He shakes his head and opens his mouth to explain, but I keep taking out whatever's going through my mind. “You didn’t even ask me. You didn’t even call me. You didn’t give me a chance to speak. You just ran off and kissed another girl right in front of me, Will. You looked me in the eyes and told me I wasn’t enough for you anymore. You ripped the necklace off my neck like I meant nothing.”
It’s still hurting me so much, recalling that night. Even after knowing why he did that, it doesn’t ease my heart.
I know I went to meet that guy after lying to him. But it didn’t give him the right to break my heart like that.
“I lied to you because I was afraid to lose you, Will. I lied because you’re possessive, because I thought you’d overreact.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “But I never betrayed you. I went to that meeting to tell that man I love someone else. I went to protect us. And you destroyed me without even asking why. You know I was so guilty about that lie, about that meeting, and that night I was going to tell you everything, but you didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
"Iva, please…" he moves closer to me.
But I don’t move toward him this time.
I can’t.
"Trust isn’t about what you see. It’s about what you believe when you can’t see everything." I fix my eyes on him, letting him see the hurt he caused. “And you didn’t believe in me.”
His lips part, his hands reaching out like he wants to hold me, like he’s desperate to undo the mess between us.
But I’m tired.
“You ended everything that day, Will. So just leave.” I take a step away from him.
"Iva, please—" He moves closer, and I move away.
"Go,” I say in a firm tone.
His voice comes out as a whisper. "I love you."
"No, you don’t love me, and you never did.”
I turn my back to him, tears streaming down my face nonstop.
Again, I feel his arms around me.
He embraces me from behind so tightly, as if he wants to fix everything with this one hug. “I’ll do whatever you say, but I’m not leaving you, Professor. Not when you need me the most. And I’ll prove to you that I love you.”