Chapter 30

The Major and I followed Liam out to the garden and down one of the many paths until we arrived at a small clearing under a canopy of tree limbs. It was a perfectly shaped circle filled with sand, its outline edged in large chunks of stone to keep the greenery at bay.

Liam turned around and faced the two of us. “I sometimes practice here when I am too busy to spar with the Major. Is this enough space?”

I nodded mutely, not sure how to proceed. Frowning, I worried at my lip as I tried to remember conversations with my aunt and mother about how to speak with my wolf, but I had been so very young that all I could recall were impressions rather than words.

Closing my eyes, I reached out to I'ikki. Little sister?

She was resting by the same stream where she’d come to me the very first time when I was a child. She looked at me and chuffed a greeting as she rose to her feet, her black-tipped tail swishing back and forth. I went to her and gave her ears a rub. I took a step backward, one hand still resting on the warm fur of her shoulder. Little sister, I need your guidance.

She tilted her head in an almost human-like way. Oh, aye?

Quickly, I explained to her what I’d just learned about the Zanskan Kin and their inability to speak with their wolves.

Why do you think they can’t speak with their wolves?

They have lost their way, lost their connection to the Mothers.

Can we fix it?

One does not know for certain, but perhaps.

How?

One does not know.

I moved my hands to rub the front of her neck as I contemplated what she’d said.

Suddenly, her voice broke into my thoughts. Do you remember Biki-a?

I frowned as I thought back. Biki-a had been a girl a few years younger than me, but we had sometimes played in the encampment together before I’d begun training with my aunt. She had been a sweet girl, but timid and shy and-

Ah! I remember, little sister. Thank you!

I kissed her on the snout and hurriedly said, I must go for now, but I will see you again in a short while.

She made a pleased chuffing noise. One looks forward to it.

Feeling a little guilty about rushing off, I gave her another kiss on the snout and a quick scritch under the chin before returning to the real world where Liam and the Major stood looking at me patiently.

“Apologies, I had to speak with I'ikki so I could figure out how to proceed.”

Liam’s voice held wry amusement. “There is no apology needed, wife. I dragged you out here without any warning, after all. Did you find the answer that you seek?”

I grimaced and waggled one hand to indicate maybe. “Perhaps. I’m not sure. I'ikki says that the Zanskan Kin may have lost their connection to Selene and Leto somehow and that’s why you can’t speak with your wolves.”

Both Liam and the Major looked troubled at that. “How can that be? The Zanskan Kin have existed for millenia.” He waved a hand in a vague gesture. “What could have changed in that time to foul our connection to the goddess and the great wolf?”

“Look around you, my love.” I pointed at a nearby garden wall. “While this garden is lovely, it’s just a garden. You’re surrounded by walls and buildings and the trappings of humans. How can wolves thrive this way?

“The Astmenai live amongst the forests of the mountains, surrounded at all times by nature’s glory. Our wolves help us to hunt and forage and to defend the tribe. We also just spend time with them in order to maintain our connection with each other. Sometimes we do that by shifting and allowing them time to roam the wilderness and sometimes just within the confines of our minds.

“And as you both have mentioned, your people are not very religious. The Astmenai pray to Selene and Leto often; we thank them for the success of a hunt or the bounty we gather from the forests and streams, we thank them each time a child comes into their wolf and every time a baby is born or an elder has lived a long life. We show them our appreciation in a thousand ways every single day.

“And to be frank, we treat our wolves as family; we give them names and play with them and talk to them, rather than just commanding them in order to use their power. And I would hazard a guess that forcing them to the shift is why you’re so much slower at it than I am.”

Liam and Major Antelz both looked perturbed at this.

“When was the last time either of you hunted as wolves? And I don’t mean in the woods of the citadel, but beyond the walls?”

Liam’s voice contained a trace of wistfulness as he said, “I used to leave the citadel often to train with my wolf in the woods when I was younger. But when I began my duties as a crown prince, I had less time to pursue such things. It’s been…” he paused as he pondered for a moment. “Well, it’s been about a year, I think.”

The Major, her voice soft, said, “I was with you the last time you left the citadel, Tae Han. We spent a few days hunting boar and deer. It’s closer to fifteen months, if memory serves.”

I looked aghast at the two Kin before me. “Fifteen months since your wolves have been out of the citadel?”

Liam’s face was grim as he nodded. “It seems that life within the citadel has blinded us to the needs of our wolves. Instead of balancing the needs of our two halves, we’ve let our humanity reign supreme.”

Looking at me with worry in his eyes, he asked, “How do we fix this?”

I reached for his hand and held it tightly. “I'ikki reminded me of a girl in my tribe, Biki-a.”

I worried at my lip for a second, thinking of how to tell the story. “She was a timid lass and she’d been born with a twisted leg. Her parents had already lost one child, so they were overprotective of her and kept her in their yurt more often than not, which meant that she wasn’t as connected to nature as the rest of the tribe.

“When she came into her wolf, she was too afraid to bond with it. Every time her parents or elders tried to help her, she would just burst into tears and refuse to cooperate.

“After about six months, my aunt decided to intervene. She feared that Biki-a would completely lose her wolf if they didn’t bond soon, or perhaps worse, for we had all heard tales of the Kinless dying young since they didn’t have a wolf’s healing powers.

“So one day, she convinced Biki-a’s parents to let her take the child into the forest on a sort of pilgrimage. They agreed for they feared for their child’s life. They, too, had heard tales about Kinless.

“My aunt made me come along and we left the encampment with Biki-a and headed down the mountain. It was a slow journey, especially because we took turns carrying the girl, otherwise we would have never made it to our destination before sundown. Biki-a cried the entire way, even accusing my aunt of being unkind, to which my aunt replied, ‘Would you be treated as a child until the day you die? Or will you find your wolf and truly be a part of the Wind Song tribe?’

“Biki-a said that her parents promised that the tribe would always take care of her. My aunt agreed that this was so, but she asked the child what she would give to the tribe in return. Biki-a had no answer for she’d not been taught how to contribute to the tribe, nor how to persevere and overcome the limitations of her twisted leg.

“This seemed to actually get through to Biki-a and she stopped her fussing. Eventually, we made it to a glade that was ideal for spending a week or two at and my aunt left Biki-a there with instructions to bond with her wolf or she would starve to death.

Liam looked outraged. “That’s too cruel. She was just a little girl.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yes, she was, but she couldn’t afford to stay a little girl. I’ve told you before that my aunt was sometimes brutal in her methods and while I don’t condone it, what she did worked.

“My aunt and I went back into the forest and when we were several hundred feet back in the cover of the trees, we coated ourselves in mud to mask our scent and stayed nearby to keep an eye on Biki-a.” I caught the look of confusion on Liam’s face. “My aunt never intended to let Biki-a die or starve. She just wanted Biki-a to think so in order to push the lass into doing what she needed in order to survive.”

I went back to the original thread of the story while Liam continued to look appalled.

“Biki-a cried a lot in the first few days, but when she got hungry and cold enough, she started trying to bond with her wolf since she couldn’t return to the tribe on her own because of her leg. It took a few more days but she finally succeeded.

“We watched over her for the next few days as she became close to her wolf and when we finally made our presence known, she had managed to learn how to use her wolf to forage and to fish. When we entered the glade, I had half expected Biki-a to throw a tantrum or have hysterics, but instead, she proudly showed off what she’d been accomplishing.

“Aunt Kenzu told her she should be proud and that we had watched her from afar to make sure that she was safe. Biki-a looked like she was angry about that, but my aunt explained to her that sometimes fear is the best motivator and that the Wind Song tribe would never leave another to fend for themselves and Biki-a should have known that at least.

“The lass begrudgingly admitted that she did know that, but had forgotten in her fear of being all alone for the first time in her life.

“My aunt surprised me then by hugging the lass, something she did not do often. She told Biki-a to never again forget that the Wind Song Tribe was her family and that we would always be there for her.

“Biki-a lit up like the sun and then asked if we would like to share her fire and if we would like some of the vegetables that she’d been roasting. My aunt gave her an approving smile and pulled a wild chicken from her rucksack that we’d caught earlier in the day. We taught Biki-a how to dress it and roast it and we shared everything with each other like the family we were.

“By the time we took Biki-a home, she’d learned how to weave baskets and how to skin animals and a myriad of other things. She still couldn’t hunt because her wolf had the same twisted leg that she did, but she learned enough to survive and she learned how to give back to the tribe.”

As I finished the story, I realized that I had gotten caught up in my memories and spoken for much longer than I had intended and had included many details that weren’t really germane to the task at hand. My throat and mouth were dry and there was sweat on my brow from the summer heat. I looked to see if Liam and the Major were aggravated. Instead of impatience at my long tale, they both bore considering looks.

“I’m sorry that took so long. I’m a horrible storyteller.”

The Major flapped a hand as if to swat away my apology. “So you’re saying that our wolves need time in a natural environment and that we need to make peace with them.”

I nodded. “Yes, exactly so, Major.”

Looking deep in thought, Liam said, “Then this garden isn’t likely to work for us. As you said, we are surrounded by the trappings of humans.”

I shrugged. “What other option do we have right now?”

Liam thought for a moment before replying. “We need to go outside of the citadel. Maybe announce that I’m taking a hunting trip and then the three of us can spend some time in the wilds to see if the Major and I can do what Biki-a did.”

I smiled, excited by the idea of getting out of the citadel. “That’s an excellent suggestion, but when can we arrange that? We have the inspection this evening and within the next few weeks, we likely have to meet with your father.”

Liam folded his arms against his chest and considered for a second. “You’re right. Let’s get through the inspection and the meeting with Tae Beun before we make any definite plans.” Focusing on the Major, he added, “If you would begin making preparations, I would appreciate it. Pick a location that you think would meet our needs and let’s revisit this idea in a few days.”

The Major bent her head in acknowledgement. “It will be as you say, Tae Han.”

A thought jolted through me. “Liam, you are an Adept.” I pointed a finger at the Major’s uniform. “And Major Antelz, you are also if I take the meaning of that embroidery on your collar.” I paused for just a heartbeat. “Could you imagine how much more powerful you would both be if you were bonded to your wolves as you should be?”

Liam’s eyebrows went down in a frown and the Major’s eyes widened slightly.

The Major’s voice was hushed as she said, “Tae Han is already the most powerful Adept in all of Zanska, though Tae Beun would disagree with that sentiment. That would be an unheard of level of power.”

Having experienced Liam’s Adept power firsthand, I couldn’t help but agree.

Looking up at the sky to check the position of the sun, Liam said, “Let’s discuss that further at some other time. It’s already afternoon and Xia and I haven’t slept much. Please return at half past eight as we discussed, Major.”

The Major bowed her head and made to leave, but I stopped her. “Major Antelz, if you get a chance, why don’t you at least try to commune with your wolf? Maybe give her a name? And that goes for you, too.” I added, pointing at Liam.

The Major simply nodded and then hesitated, turning back to us. “Whatever happened to Biki-a after that? Was she able to live a good life?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yes, not long after we returned from our trip, she went to one of the men in our tribe who was known for his archery skills. She begged him to teach her how to use a bow and arrow. He refused, saying that she wasn’t strong enough. She said she would get stronger, but he still refused. So she pestered him day in and day out and started hauling jugs of water from the creek. It took her three times as long as the other children, but she never gave up.

“After weeks of her pleading with him, he finally agreed, I think to get her to be quiet more than any real belief that she would make a good archer. She practiced until her fingers bled and still hauled water every day.

“It took some time to build up her strength, but eventually, she became quite good with the bow. So much so that she would sometimes go into the forest and sit for hours until some animal or another came within range. She brought many small game back to the tribe and we were all very proud of her.”

The Major nodded approvingly and finally departed after one last bow of her head, leaving us standing in the garden under the shade of the willow tree.

Liam drew me into an embrace and I laid my head against his chest and listened to the thump of his heartbeat for a moment.

“Is this why the goddess has chosen you?”

I pulled back so that I could look up at him, struck by his question. “What do you mean, my love?”

He looked down at me, his grey eyes serious and darker than usual. “Could she have chosen you to guide the Zanskan Kin back to her? Back to the old ways?”

Like the discussion we’d had about ending slavery, it seemed like it was possible but incomplete somehow, as if there were still secrets for me to uncover. With one answer, I now had many more questions.

Why now? Or rather, why now after the Zanskan people had lived this way for generations? Why choose me as her tool when she could have come to the people herself long ago and set them straight?

I sighed, tired of feeling like I didn’t know what in the blue hell was going on around me.