Chapter 152: Distance between us Part 2
Chapter 152: Distance between us Part 2
Lilac’s P.O.V
"Krimson," I began, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me, "If you still keep holding me accountable for things that are beyond my control…then how do you think we can ever be mates?”
The Moon Goddess, our all powerful deity known to be the one who made the pairing in heaven, had always been fair and just in her judgment. But this time, she couldn’t have chosen a more unlikely pair. Krimson and I were like oil and water, we couldn’t last long without being at each other’s throats. Then how could we become proper mates?
Mates were supposed to love each other without conditions…they were supposed to support each other through the toughest of times…stand by each other no matter what. But here we were, standing on two opposite sides as the chasm between us kept on widening from the weight of our shared past.
“I’m being judged for something I had no say in, something I didn't choose—my birth." I met Krimson's gaze, searching for understanding, for a glimpse of recognition of the turmoil within me. "If you can't look past the circumstances of my birth, if you keep finding faults in me because of something I never had a hand in, then how can we ever truly be mates? How can we build something real, something lasting, if I'm constantly under scrutiny for things that were decided long before I even existed?"
I felt a lump form in my throat, the weight of those words hanging in the air. I didn't want to issue an ultimatum, didn't want to push Krimson away, but I couldn't continue feeling like an outsider in my own relationship, burdened by the weight of expectations I could never meet.
Silence settled between us, the rustle of leaves outside the manor the only sound in the stillness. I waited, my heart pounding in my chest, hoping against hope that Krimson would understand, that he would see beyond the constraints of our heritage and embrace the essence of who I am.
“If you were never going to accept me as your mate…then why did you break up with Del in the first place?”
Krimson's straightforwardness compelled me to confront my own feelings, to articulate them in a way that made sense not just to him but to myself.
"It’s because I have a guilty conscience, Krimson," I admitted, my tone tinged with vulnerability. "Unlike you."
I met his eyes without flinching. “I couldn’t go on being with someone knowing that I betrayed them in the worst way possible. I couldn’t be a cheater who continues to hurt someone they care about. So it was better to let him go than make him hate me any more…more than I hate myself.”
In that moment, I knew that I had made a mistake by choosing Krimson over Del, even though he wasn’t my mate. But Del was a compassionate soul, a true gentleman who had cared about my feelings. He had understood when I was sad or lonely or hurt. He had always been clear at reading my emotions. But in the end, I had chosen to give into my temptations and let go of the wrong person.
I turned to leave, a heavy sigh escaped me, a mixture of frustration and resignation lingering in the air. The need to distance myself from Krimson had become an instinct, a way of self-preservation that felt both necessary and suffocating. Just as I was about to take that step, Krimson's urgent voice pierced the silence, halting my departure.
"Lilac, wait," Krimson's voice trembled slightly, a hint of urgency coloring his words. "Your life is still in danger. You can't just walk away like this."
His concern was evident. I felt the weight of his worry, his desire to protect me, but a deeper question lingered in my mind, one that had been brewing for far too long. I turned to face him, searching his eyes for an answer I feared I already knew.
"The reason you’re concerned about me, Krimson…is it because you really care about me…or is it just because I'm Harmona's little sister?" The words spilled from my lips, carrying the weight of uncertainty and vulnerability. It was a question I'd avoided asking, buried beneath the chaos and danger that seemed to envelop my life.
Krimson hesitated, his gaze flickering away for a moment, a fleeting but telling gesture. Silence hung in the air, heavy with unspoken truths and unacknowledged emotions. The absence of an immediate response was an answer in itself, a confirmation of the doubts that had lingered in the periphery of my consciousness.
Without waiting for his answer, I felt a surge of emotions, a whirlwind of disappointment and frustration intertwining within me. The ache of uncertainty gnawed at my resolve, and I made a choice fueled by a need for clarity, for a semblance of control over my own life.
I turned away from Krimson's gaze, the sound of my footsteps echoing in the silent room as I made my way towards the door. Each step felt heavy, laden with the weight of unanswered questions and unresolved emotions. Despite the danger that loomed outside, the suffocating uncertainty within the walls of that house was far more unbearable.
As I reached for the doorknob, the air thick with tension, I realized that some questions might never find their answers. With a deep breath, I pushed the door open, stepping out into the night. The cool breeze brushed against my skin, offering a momentary respite from the turmoil within.
Leaving the confines of that house felt both liberating and daunting. And so, with each determined step, I walked away, into the unknown, seeking solace in the pursuit of my own answers.