Chapter 151: Distance between us Part 1
Lilac’s P.O.V
The transition to Krimson's new mansion was nothing short of a whirlwind. The grandeur of the estate was breathtaking, its opulence evident in every corner. I couldn't help but marvel at the sheer magnificence of the place as I stepped through its ornate doors, my senses inundated by the lavish surroundings. It was a stark contrast to the quaintness of my previous home, yet the beauty didn't distract me from the tension simmering beneath the surface.
“Where’s my room?” I asked him as I brought in my suitcases. I was hoping he would guide me to my room as soon as I entered, but when he hesitated for a bit, I knew that there was something more to his request of moving in that was far out of my comfort zone.
“I was hoping that you would stay in my room…with me.” His request was steeped in a history I couldn't ignore, a history rife with pain and betrayal.
"I can't," my voice was soft but firm as I refused, my gaze steady despite the turmoil within. "Krimson…I know that my sister was your mate. I know about the rift between you and my father. I understand the pain you've endured, the betrayal you felt but I can't simply overlook the hurt you caused me all this time. I never deserved to bear the weight of your anger, Krimson."
My heart ached with a mixture of sympathy and frustration. I sympathized with the agony he'd endured, the loss of my sister…and how that had affected his view of every single member of the Dawn Wood pack afterwards. But I couldn't ignore the repercussions of his actions, the repercussions that had affected me deeply.
"It's not easy for me to be here, knowing the history between us," I continued, my words measured but filled with emotion. "I want to move forward, to find a way to heal, but that can't happen if I'm suffocating under the weight of the past. I need my own space, my own room, at least for now."
There was a palpable tension in the air, the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions hanging between us. I knew that this conversation was pivotal, a moment that could either bridge the gap or widen the chasm between us.
I knew at that moment that I wouldn't be sleeping with him again. I couldn't even see myself doing that after everything we had actually been through. I knew for a fact that it would actually be a slap in my face if I actually went back to the same thing I swore I would never do.
Krimson had not only humiliated me, but he made sure that most times, I didn't have a say in anything that was happening. However, this time, even though I had a say in what I could and couldn’t do…I didn’t have a choice. The irony of my life was that I was now once again under his protection because of the wraiths haunting me. But one thing I was sure of was that I won't be forgiving him easily for my mistreatment.
The more I thought about everything I had suffered in his hands, the angrier I became because I just realized that for those four years of pain, tears and agony, every fiber of my being was tested to the breaking point. And when I was drugged at the party, when Serena was the one making a video to humiliate me…Krimson had still chosen to exile me from the pack as well, deciding that I would be better off alone.
"I know what you are thinking of." he said.
I turned to face him, ready to lash out because at that moment, I wasn't even in the mood for anything that resembled play. From the look on his face however, I could tell that he was actually ready for me to lash out as well.
"What am I thinking of?" I snapped back.
“Lilac…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought we came to an agreement. I thought we were past this.”
“Past this?” I spat out. “Past what, Krimson? Past the fact that you never once took my side? Past the fact that for four years, you stood by and did nothing as your packmates made my life living hell? Past the fact that even though I was hardly at fault, I was always the one to apologize and bow my head as if I was the servant?”
"Do you actually think that four years is too long, Lilac?” Krimson snapped back, his eyes holding a fire that I wasn’t familiar with. “If you think four years is too long, then what about the twenty five years of suffering I had to endure because of your father?"
The sudden realization of Krimson’s word hit me like a punch to the solar plexus. I could feel the weight of the conversation we were about to have, heavy in the air between us. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts, my heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. Krimson's eyes still burned with a fire of age old anger and I only realized it now that we could never truly be together until both of us were free from the shadows of our past.