Chapter 185 COLD FEET
Chapter 185 COLD FEET
DAX’S POV
I used to call him bond brother.
We were not related biologically but we were related by choice and by our friendship.
We practically grew up together so it was expected.
Ragnar and I were born barely weeks apart under the same moon cycle and raised within the same territory.
We were trained by the same warriors, beaten bloody by the same instructors over and over again until we learned how to survive.
When we were children, wolves around us used to joke that if one of us jumped into a fire, the other would follow just to make sure the flames didn’t win and we did.
That was how close and inseparable we were.
And for the longest time, I truly believed that nothing could break that bond between us.
Then the challenge happened and everything shattered.
Even now two decades later, I still remember the sound and the screaming that would mark the worst day of my life.
Acmonite, that cursed fucking drug. Because of her family, she has to use it and when she was found out, she panicked and attacked Ragnar regardless.
It happened so quickly that nobody reacted in time.
And by the time I reached the arena floor, she was already dead.
She died without ever seeing or knowing me.
I never even got to hear her voice properly in a conversation, a greeting or even in a laughter.
Nothing.
Just blood pouring from her while Ragnar knelt there staring at his own hands like he couldn’t understand what he had done.
And the worst part?
The absolute fucking worst part of the whole thing?!
Is that it truly wasn’t his fault.
That’s what has poisoned and eaten me up for years.
If he had murdered her intentionally, then maybe hatred would’ve been easier and much more simple for me.
But it was an accident.
A terrible, simple accident born from fear, instinct, and the bad timing of it all that made my bond brother kill my mate.
And because of that, I could never fully hate him.
But even worse is that I could also never fully forgive him either, leaving me hateful and bitter.
So instead, I learned how to live with the bitterness, I buried it.
I smothered it under my duty with years and distance until everyone believed I had moved on and I was okay now.
Even Ragnar.
But I never did. I never moved on. I was dying and festering slowly inside until today happened.
Today–
Ragnar stood in front of the entire arena and claimed Sebastian as his mate.
His mate.
A second chance mate of his.
I still remember the exact moment my mind stopped functioning properly as I looked at the bitch of them with…
I could understand the exact emotion I felt then.
The exact second I saw Ragnar rip open his shirt and reveal another mate mark in his skin, I realized what I was feeling.
It should have been impossible, the Moon Goddess doesn’t bless wolves twice, especially not like that.
I would know, I've prayed, worshiped, even offered sacrifices of countless Rogues and done blood magic to try and bring her back but it didn't work.
You can't get another mate especially not after losing a true mate and bond.
And yet there Ragnar stood, in front of everyone–
Blessed and chosen again.
While I never even got the chance to even know mine.
I don’t know how else to explain it but something inside me snapped.
One second I was staring at Ragnar in disbelief and the next second–
Rage consumed me so completely that my vision turned red and I left the arena immediately after that.
I don’t even remember how or what happened after that as my chest felt hollow and raw with pain and fury.
I only remember that for the first time in twenty years–
I prayed with hatred.
I screamed for her, for the Moon Goddess. I demanded answers as to why it all happened like this.
Why him?
Why Ragnar?
Why and how is it so that he gets another chance while my mate died before I even held her hand?
Why was Ragnar allowed happiness again and not me?
I expected silence like she's used to giving but this time, she answered immediately.
Well not immediately but later in a dream.
She was as beautiful as she was terrifying and cold with moonlight around her and she watched me with pity.
“I cannot interfere directly,” she told me calmly before I could even speak. “That is one of the laws binding gods, especially me.”
I remember laughing bitterly at that statement.
“How convenient.” I sneered.
Her expression never changed even with my insolence.
“Unless disaster threatens the balance of life and mortals beg for divine intervention.”
I frowned at her not understanding what she meant fully until she smiled and my rage disappeared as dread came back to me.
And then she spoke words that changed everything for me completely.
“For a short time,” she said softly, “I can give you influence over the Rogues.”
I stared at her dumbly as she continued.
“Call them together and create chaos. Use that chaos to get Sebastian into the Forbidden Forest before Ragnar completes the mating bond between them fully.”
My chest tightened.
“Why?”
For the first time, something that looked like unease flickered across her face.
“He must not complete that bond.”
Not should, she said he must not.
Even now, that memory unsettles me as I even asked her what she wanted with him but she didn't answer.
She only repeated herself again.
“Bring him to the altar.”
And then I woke up with the power.
The Rogues obeyed me not perfectly like how pack wolves obeyed their Alphas but enough to direct them and cause chaos in the MoonCrest pack.
It was enough to distract everyone while I did what needed to be done at least to see my mate again.
And now, here I am standing deep within the forbidden forest as the sky above it was incredibly dark.
Outside the forest, the sun was still a bit up but inside, it went all dark immediately.
The last time I was here was when I came to bury her.
The air itself felt strange around the old altar that was hidden between twisted roots and black stone.
It was deserted as most wolves, even Alphas, would avoid this place instinctively.
But tonight–
I walked towards it carrying Sebastian unconscious in my arms without fear.
As long as I can get her back.