Chapter 122
Cassian's POV
I walked to Elowen's room. My legs felt heavy. Each step echoed in the empty hallway.
The door was unlocked. I pushed it open.
The scent hit me immediately. Pine and smoke. Casper's scent.
It was everywhere. On the sheets. In the air. Clinging to the pillows.
Zero stirred inside me. "His smell is all over her room."
"She'll be here soon," I said. My voice sounded flat. "I can feel her getting closer."
But that didn't stop the tightness in my chest.
I stepped further inside. "Casper? You in here?"
Nothing.
I checked behind the bed. Empty. The bathroom door was open. I looked inside. Nothing. I pulled open the closet. Just clothes.
My throat tightened.
I sat on the edge of Elowen's bed. The mattress dipped under my weight. I wanted to lie down. To bury my face in her pillow and breathe in that vanilla honey scent until the world stopped spinning.
But I didn't.
Because Casper's scent was there too. Mixed with hers.
My jaw clenched.
We shared her now. That was the reality. I'd have to get used to waking up next to both of them. Her warmth pressed between us. Her breath on my skin. And Casper's arm probably thrown over her waist.
"Focus," Zero growled. "We need to find him."
Right. Casper.
I reached through the twin bond. The invisible thread that connected us since birth. "Casper. Where are you?"
Silence.
Not complete silence. I could feel him on the other end. A vague presence. Like a shadow behind frosted glass.
But he wasn't answering.
"Casper," I tried again. My voice was sharper in my head. "Elowen's coming to her room to see us. Get over here. We need to talk about tonight."
Still nothing.
My hands balled into fists.
"This day has been too fucking long," I said through the bond. "I just want to hold our girl and sleep. You need this too. Where the hell are you?"
A pause. Then—
"I can't."
His voice was low. Broken.
My pulse spiked. "Why not, Casper? What happened?"
"I can't..." His voice cracked. "It's not safe. Being around me. Not for you. Not for Elowen. Not for anyone. I'm dangerous."
My blood turned cold.
"Zero." I stood up fast. "Find him. Now. Find Leo."
Zero let out a pained sound. "I can't find him. It's like he's shut me out. Without Leo's help, I can't sense them."
"Can you reach Leo?"
Zero howled inside my head. A mournful, desperate sound. "I can't reach them! They've completely closed the bond!"
"Elowen..." I reached through the mate bond. My voice shook. "Elowen, something's wrong with Casper. I can't find him."
I hoped my fear would snap Casper out of whatever was happening. Or maybe Elowen's gentle voice could pull him back.
"I'm on my way upstairs now," she responded immediately. Her warmth flooded through the bond. "Hold on, baby."
But I couldn't hold on.
I couldn't lose him.
Tears burned my eyes. I shook my head hard. Tried to stop them.
I can't lose my brother and my father in the same day. I can't. It'll destroy me.
I wasn't as strong as everyone thought. Not really.
My knees buckled.
I grabbed the doorframe to keep from falling.
"He's not upstairs," I told Elowen through the bond. "He's... fuck, I don't know where he is."
"I'm almost there." Her voice was steady. Calm. "Stay where you are."
Footsteps echoed down the hall. Fast. Running.
Elowen appeared at the end of the corridor. Her hair was messy. Her eyes were wide.
She ran straight to me.
"Casper?" She reached through the mate bond. Her voice was soft. Gentle. "I need you, Casper. Where are you?"
I felt him on the edge of the bond. Listening. Fighting something inside himself.
"You all need to stay away from me." His voice was hollow. "Or... I need to stay away from all of you. Before I cause more damage."
The words hit like a punch to the gut.
Elowen's face went pale. She looked at me. Her amber eyes were glossy.
She walked closer. Her hands reached for me.
I tried to stay standing. To be strong.
But the moment her arms wrapped around me, I broke.
My knees gave out completely.
We both went down. Hit the floor of the room together.
I pulled her tight against my chest. My arms locked around her waist. I pressed her close. So close I could feel her heartbeat.
Peace.
That's what I felt.
For just a second, everything stopped spinning. The world narrowed down to this. Her. Us.
"She's always right," Zero murmured. "She can help us find them."
I cupped Elowen's face in my hands. My thumbs brushed her cheeks. I pressed my forehead against hers.
We were both scared. Both worried about Casper.
But together, we could fix this.
I felt wetness on my cheeks. I was crying again.
Elowen's fingers were gentle. She wiped the tears away.
"You're wrong, Casper." Her voice was low. Firm. She spoke through the bond. "We need you. You're the glue. You always have been. Without you, we're not complete."
I added my voice to hers. Through the twin bond. "Brother, whatever's happening, we face it together. You're not a monster. You're my other half."
Silence.
Then I felt it. A ripple of pain through the bond. Casper was listening.
"Tell me where you are," Elowen whispered. "Let us come to you. You don't have to carry this alone."
More silence.
My chest tightened. My hands shook.
"Please," I said. My voice cracked. "Please, Casper."
Finally, he spoke.
"Where it all began..."
His voice was rough. Exhausted.
But I understood.
I looked at Elowen. She looked at me.
We both knew.
"I know where he is." I stood up. Pulled her to her feet. "Come on."
I grabbed her hand and we ran.