Chapter 121
Cassian's POV
I stumbled away from my parents' bedroom, Mom's screams still ringing in my ears.
"Get out! Get out!"
The stranger—Raven, he'd called himself—watched me leave with those unsettling eyes. "I'll take care of her," he'd said, his voice smooth as silk. Too smooth. The words made my skin crawl, but I was too broken to process what they meant.
I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I had to leave.
When I finally made it back to my room, every ounce of strength drained from my body.
My back hit the door. My legs gave out.
I slid down. Hit the floor.
The room spun. My chest squeezed tight.
I couldn't breathe.
Dad's dead.
The thought slammed into me again. And again. And again.
My hands shook. My whole body shook.
I pressed my palms against my eyes. Hard. Like I could push the image away.
But I still saw it. Dad's body. The white sheet. Mom's face.
And that stranger. Standing too close to her. Speaking in that disturbingly intimate tone.
Who the fuck was he?
A sound ripped out of my throat. Raw. Broken.
I was crying.
Like a fucking kid.
I couldn't stop it. Couldn't control it.
My shoulders heaved. Tears burned down my face.
I should've been there. I should've protected him.
But I wasn't. I was too busy dealing with my own shit. Too busy trying to keep Leo under control.
And now Dad was gone.
"I'm sorry." The words scraped out. "I'm so sorry."
I thought about all the times I'd come home and gone straight to Elowen. Ignored Dad. Walked past his office without saying hi.
I'd been so focused on her. On Casper. On everything else.
And now I'd never get those moments back.
I wanted to see him proud.
But I never did.
"He was proud of you." Zero's voice was soft. Gentle.
I shook my head. Hard. "You don't know that."
"He believed in you. He trusted you to lead."
"Stop." My voice cracked. "Just stop."
Because those were just words. Just assumptions.
I didn't know if Dad was proud. Didn't know if he trusted me.
We'd been fighting lately. About Elowen. About the bond. About everything.
What if he died thinking I was a disappointment?
My breath hitched. Another sob tore through me.
I pressed my forehead against my knees. Curled into myself.
The darkness felt endless. Suffocating.
Then—warmth.
The bond with Elowen pulsed. Warm. Steady. Like sunrise breaking through storm clouds.
Her voice slipped through. Soft as silk. Bright as fucking daylight.
"Cassian? Baby, I can feel you. Talk to me."
My chest ached. But hearing her voice... it was like breathing again.
"I'm fine." The lie tasted bitter.
"Don't lie to me." Her tone was gentle. Not accusing. Just... knowing. "You're hurting. I feel it. Let me in."
God, she always knew. Always saw through my bullshit.
"I'm checking on Ethan right now," she continued, but there was an edge to her voice. Something tense beneath the warmth. "But there's some trouble brewing. We need to get together soon—all three of us. I have things to tell you both."
The shift in her tone made Zero stir. Alert.
Something happened.
"Elowen?" I pushed through the grief fog. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, baby. Just... we'll talk when we're together." Her voice softened again, wrapping around me like a shield. "Right now, you need me more. I'll come to you as soon as I can. I promise. Just hold on for me."
I wanted to say yes. Wanted to beg her to come now.
But that was selfish. Weak.
Ethan was hurt. Cindy needed Elowen. The pack needed her.
"Take your time. Ethan needs you."
Another lie.
I needed her.
"No." Her voice turned sharp. Firm. But underneath, I heard the love. The fierce protectiveness. "Ethan is not my mate. You are. You come first. Always."
My breath caught. Something cracked open in my chest.
"You need me, Cassian. I should've come to you first. I'm so sorry."
"Don't." The word came out rough. Broken. "Don't apologize for being kind. You're exactly what this pack deserves as Luna. What I... what I don't deserve."
"Stop that." Her voice softened. Warmed like honey. "You deserve everything good in this world. You deserve to be held. To be loved. To fall apart and know someone will catch you."
Tears burned fresh tracks down my face.
"I'll catch you," she whispered. "Every single time. I promise."
"Everything will be okay, babe. We'll get through this. Together."
I wanted to believe her. Needed to believe her.
Because right now? She was the only light in this suffocating darkness.
"Where's Casper?" she asked gently.
I closed my eyes. Pictured my brother. Probably alone. Probably breaking down too.
"In your room. I think."
I wanted her to myself. Wanted her arms around me. Wanted to bury my face in her neck and forget everything.
But Casper needed her too. And Elowen—my sunshine girl—would never leave either of us alone in the dark.
"Then meet me in my room," she said. Her voice carried that quiet strength I loved. That unwavering certainty. "Both of you. I'm not letting either of my mates suffer alone. And we need to talk—about what happened tonight. All of it."
The hint of urgency in her tone made my stomach twist.
Something definitely happened.
Smart. She always knew what we needed. Even when we didn't.
"Thank you," I breathed. "For being you."
"I love you, babe. In case you didn't know." Her voice turned playful. Teasing. Trying to lighten the crushing weight.
A weak laugh bubbled up. "I know. But I'll make you spend the rest of your life showing me how much."
"Deal." I could hear her smile. Feel it through the bond. Warm. Radiant. "Now get to my room. That's an order from your Luna."
The command in her tone made me smile. Just a little.
"Yes, Luna."
The connection cut off.
But her warmth remained. Wrapped around my heart like a shield.
I sat there for another moment. Let the silence settle.
Zero stirred inside me. Amused. "She ordered you."
"Yeah." I pushed to my feet. My legs wobbled less now. "She did."
"She's good for us," Zero murmured. "She makes the darkness bearable."
"She is the light," I corrected quietly.
I looked down at my clothes. Dad's shirt.
Mom's hysterical scream echoed in my head. "You have no right to wear that!"
She was right. I didn't deserve it.
My throat tightened. I yanked the shirt off—rough, violent—and threw it on the bed like it was burning my skin.
Then I grabbed fresh clothes from my closet. Black shirt. Dark jeans.
My hands still shook as I dressed. But less than before.
Because Elowen's voice echoed in my head. Her promise. Her love.
Everything will be okay.
I didn't fully believe it yet.
But I'd go to her. Let her hold me. Let her anchor me in the storm.
Because right now? She was the only thing keeping me from drowning.
I walked to the door. Paused.
Remembered the first time she'd smiled at me. Really smiled. Like I was worth something.
Like I mattered.
For the people I love, I'll keep going.