81

I slowly open my eyes and stare at the clock, it's 9:30am.

I don't even know what time Harry came home last night, I was in bed by 11:30 and he wasn't home. I think I remember waking up briefly and hearing some rummaging around 2am but I was half asleep.

It bothers me that we still haven't talked- not one word. It's been two days since our argument. I don't know what's going through his mind and it kinda makes me nervous. He hasn't spoken to me in two days now; not even to demand chores.

I have no clue where he is now, I don't really hear him so I guess he's out again, doing who knows what. Maybe he's out drinking or messing around with some girls down at the strip club like he said he could if he wanted too. It is only 9:30 in the morning but I could still imagine Harry doing all those things.

I yawn and sling my feet over onto the ground, I walk up to the closet and throw on my light blue sweater. Yesterday was such a lonely day. I was left with nothing but my thoughts, my thoughts that were flooded of him. It was really difficult. I was fighting with my thoughts and feelings for the whole day- it was exhausting. I kept defending him in my head but then kept defending myself.

I open my door and walk straight to the washroom across the hall, still half asleep. I get in and shut the door behind me, walking over to the sink and grabbing my toothbrush which is next to Harry's.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and don't really like what I see. You can tell how beaten down I look emotionally just by my eyes. My hair is a mess so I just try to tame it with my hands. I can't brush it because then my wavy hair will just turn super frizzy, and that's even harder to manage.

I flatten it out a bit and start brushing my teeth, trying to distract myself from everything that's gone wrong in the past two days. I wonder how long he won't talk to me for. I spit in the sink and finish brushing my teeth, rinsing with mouthwash after. I then wash my face to wake myself up a bit, hoping it will liven up my appearance a little more.

But honestly who am I trying to impress?

I finish washing my face and head to the closed washroom door, opening it back up so a timid cold breeze hits me. At least if Harry's not here because then I don't have to barricade myself in my room all day to avoid him. My bare feet shuffle down the hallway, keeping my hands covered in the sweater sleeves.

I walk out to the second floor railing and stop in my tracks at the sight in front of me. My jaw drops instantly and my eyes naturally go wide in shock as I look over at the first floor living room.

Theirs white twinkle lights hanging up all along the top of the walls near the ceiling- brightening up the whole room. The electric fireplace is on for once and at the far end of the room is colourful Christmas lights zig-zaged down the wall to mimic a tree with little Christmas ornaments hanging off the wires.

And out of all of this, Harry stands in the middle of the room, looking up at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Merry Christmas Amelia." His voice that I feel like I haven't heard in so long finally speaks.

My heart slams against my chest as his inflamed cheeks stare up at me, twisting the rings on his fingers.

I am lost for words, completely lost. I look around at all the effort this boy put into this living room to make me happy. He hates Christmas, he probably hates everything in here right now.

"What is all of this?" I say in shock while staring at the magnificent looking room.

"It's December 25th." He answers.

I slowly walk down the stairs to the main floor, feeling like I'm in a parallel universe. I don't even know what to say to him.

"You hate Christmas." I quietly murmur while turning my eyes to him, keeping my distance. He stands a good two meters in front of me, keeping his hands folded in front of him.

"I do." He nods while keeping his distance.

"The why did you do all of this?" I gesture to the spectacular display all around the living room.

"For you." He doesn't hesitate to answer.

My heart beats rapidly from his kindness, but I don't want him to do me any favours.

"That's very sweet Harry, but you didn't need to go through all this trouble for me." I smile lightly but still keep my distance. I can't believe he did all of this, especially without me noticing.

"I know I didn't need too, I wanted too." He says while stepping closer to me.

I stay completely frozen, not knowing how to react to this. I look up at his soft quiet features as he stands a little closer to me.

"Amelia-" he begins quietly while fiddling with the silver rings on his tattoos hands. "I know I can be hard to live with, and hard to handle in general- but you're not just some object to me." He says while slowly stepping closer.

I stare up into his crystal emerald eyes, listening intently to his slow words and waiting for him to continue.

"You're more important to me then I ever thought you were going to be. I never cared so someone more then I do for you and it really fucks me up Amelia. I've spent all my life running from the demons in my head and I eventually gave up and became one. I am an awful man but when I'm with you- I feel.. normal. I don't know if that makes any sense." He rambles out a bunch of words from his nervous looking face.

I didn't realize how close he was until I got a scent of his cologne. I smile lightly as the cold exterior of a man tries to spill out things he's never said before.

"It makes sense Harry." I whisper while stepping closer, looking up at him with rosy cheeks.

"I am overprotective because I don't want you to be with anyone else. I don't know what this is- but I do know that you're mine and it would kill me to see you with another guy." He explains our relationship, trying to dissect it to specifics.

This all looks like it's really hard for him to say- he seems distressed. He's right, he isn't an easy man to deal with, but for some reason I'm okay with that.

"Then I guess I'm yours." I smile and step even closer.

His dimples surface his cheeks and his eyes lighten in happiness. Our relationship doesn't really have a label- but it doesn't need one. All I know is that we aren't going to see other people. I can't believe I'm thinking about all these things but I don't care.

"And I'm yours love." He whispers while bringing his hand up to tuck the hair behind my ear.

I smile and place my hands on his sides through the black fabric. His eyes are red but not in tears- just red almost like his eyes are irritated.

"I can't believe you did all of this." I whisper up to him.

"Sorry I couldn't get a real tree. I had to improvise." He murmurs while looking at the zig-zagged string lights nailed to the wall in the shape of a Christmas tree.

I giggle lightly and smile up at him, "it's perfect Harry."

"Just like you." He smirks with the cheesy remark while kissing my forehead.

"Why are your eyes so red? You're not drunk are you?" I ask while snaking my hands up to the back of his neck.

"Oh, no I just haven't slept." He rubs his blood shot eyes.

"You haven't?" I say in concern while running the hair out of his face.

"No- I was getting all this stuff ready baby." He chuckles while wrapping his hands around my waist.

"Well go rest then." I say worryingly.

He shakes his head with a smile before leaning down, "I rather not." He whispers while pressing his lips to mine. I smile into the kiss and grab the roots of his curls, feeling absolutely perfect in this moment.

"Wait-" He says into the kiss while pulling away. I look back up at him and arch my brow. "I have a gift for you." He adds while pulling away and walking over to the shelf.

I pout my lips in awe as he brings me over a newspaper wrapped rectangle gift.

"Surprisingly they don't sell Christmas wrapping paper in an underground gang society so I had to uh- use newspaper." He scratches the back of his neck in awkwardness while handing me the perfectly wrapped present.

"Harry you didn't have too. I would have gotten you something if I knew about all of this." I say while holding the present in my hand.

"Shhh baby just open it." He chuckles.

"You're too sweet." I laugh while running my fingers along the edges and pulling at the newspaper.

My hands neatly rip at the perfectly wrapped item as Harry watches me quietly- staring at my every move. I rip off all the newspaper and reveal a beautiful brown leather book that is filled with blank cream colour pages.

"It's a drawing book." He mumbles while running his hand back through his curls.

My jaw drops and my heart beats rapidly from my chest, feeling incredibly touched from his gesture. I examine the smooth leather of the bindings and instantly fall in love it it.

"You said you like to draw.. and every artist needs a fancy drawing book." He stumbles with his words, looking at the book rather then me.

"Harry...this is amazing. Thank you so much." I almost get emotional from it.

"It's not a big deal." He shakes his head and smiles.

"It is a big deal. Seriously, thank you." I say while shutting the book.

"Oh wait, there's one last thing." He says abruptly while grabbing my hand and turning me around to the stairs. Oh my goodness what else could he have done?