Chapter 31

“PENELOPE, why are you here?” Nicholas asked worriedly when he saw her standing in front of the church on an early morning. “Why are you crying? Did that Justin hurt you?”

Penelope shook her head. “No…” she said and wiped her tears. “Nicholas… I want to have a confession…” She held his hand and grasped on it tightly. “I can’t take to hide this anymore.”

Nicholas looked at her. His thick brows were furrowed in concern and confusion. Penelope expected that Nicholas would be shocked to see her again after what happened between them yesterday. She thought about it a thousand times before going here, and her decision did not alter. 

“Penelope…” Nicholas reached to touch her shoulder, but she stepped back.

“I want you to know it first…” she said and looked at him. “I want you to hear my confession, then tell me if I am still worthy of forgiveness.”

Nicholas held her stare and nodded. She’s not seeing her best friend, Nic, from him. Now, what she saw is a divine man sent from heaven to listen for her sins.

Penelope stared at the confessional wall with tearful eyes. Her knees are shaking as she entered the cabinet and prepared herself. She knew that she would do this someday, but she never thought that it’ll be sooner. It’s been years since that horrible night happened, and it’s been years since she made the hardest decision of her life.

“Father…” Penelope began in a shaky tone. “Seven years ago, I made a big mistake in my life. It was a heavy sin that I know no one would dare to forgive…” Tears streamed down her face. “Father Nicholas, I was raped on my eighteenth birthday…” She covered her mouth to hide her weeps, but she failed. Her heart ached so much that she doesn’t know if she could bear it. “On the same night that you announced that you wanted to be a priest, I ran away…”

“Penelope… why you didn’t tell me about it?” Nicholas asked from the other side of the wall. Penelope can sense the anger in his voice. “Why did you hide it from me? From our parents?”

“I was scared…” she said and cried again. “I got drunk and wasted that night, and then somebody from the bar approached me. He gave me a drink, and everything went blur. I woke up in a hotel, naked and alone…”

She heard a loud thump from the wall. “I looked for you all night, but I can’t find you. We were so worried about you, Penelope—”

“I know, I know… And I’m so sorry, Nicholas. I was so devastated and hurt by what you announced on the night of my birthday.” She wept in tears. “I loved you so much that I thought my life would be useless if you’re not with me… So, I got myself drunk, but I didn’t expect that it would also lead me to a bigger problem.”

When Nicholas didn’t respond, Penelope continued. “After a few months, I started to feel odd…” She cried again. “I got pregnant… I don’t know what to do. I’m not yet ready to bear a child, to bear a child that isn’t yours…” She took a breath. “I didn’t tell you because I got ashamed of myself, and all I wanted to do during that time is… to get rid of the baby.”

Penelope covered her face as the tears streamed down her face endlessly. “I tried to abort the child, but it wouldn’t let go. So, on the day that you left our house for the seminary, I left too. I told your mom that I will participate in field research from my school, but my plan is to hide somewhere as my womb grew.”

“What did you do with the child?” Nicholas asked. His voice was surprisingly calm. “Where is the child, Penelope?”

Penelope wiped her tears. “When I gave birth, I left him in an orphanage…” She caught her aching chest. “I left my son… I abandoned him, Nicholas.” She pressed her forehead on the wall, her tears streamed like forever. “But you know what I found out yesterday?” she covered her mouth as her cry became louder. “The man that I am starting to love… He’s also the man that adopted my son.”

It took a while before Penelope heard Nicholas spoke from the other side of the wall. “Does Justin know about it?”

She shook her head. “No… I haven’t told him—”

“Do you love him?”

Penelope paused. She didn’t expect that question from Nicholas. Do I love Justin? She asked herself as the memories of last night lingered on her mind. After she thanked Justin for the bouquet and mentioned Vince, Penelope expected to ask questions, but he didn’t. Instead, he just smiled and told her that Vince deserved all the love in the world.

A kind of love that she refused to give him… 

“You should tell the truth to him, Penelope,” Nicholas told her. “Justin deserved to know the truth, and so the child. You have to face this and don’t run away again.”

___________________

 “WHERE is Penelope?” Justin asked Laura when he saw her feeding Vince instead of Penelope. 

“She said she needs to do something very important,” Laura replied. “And she told me to tell you that she might not go home tonight.”

“What?” he asked on a knotted forehead. “Why she didn’t call me?” he took out his phone and checked if Penelope has left him a message, but he received nothing. “Where did that woman go?”

“Sir Justin, I know I’m not in a position to say this, but I noticed something strange to Penelope,” she said and stood. She made sure first that Vince is busy with her food before she went to him. “Yesterday, Vince accidentally opened the box that you placed under the coffee table; upon holding the white blanket with bloodstains, Penelope suddenly started crying.”

Justin’s brows drew together. “So that’s the reason why she acted not in the mood last night…” he said. “But why did she cry…” he paused as his mind recalled the odd questions that the woman asked him. He took his phone and dialed her number, but he can’t reach her. “Where did she go?”

After a series of failed attempts to contact Penelope’s number, Justin decided to find her. He left Vince to Laura and told her that if Penelope went home, call him immediately and not let her leave again.

Justin didn’t bother to cover his face when he parked his car in front of St. Paul Church. The mass was just about to end when he entered the temple. He was surprised when he saw Nicholas speaking at the altar in a white priest uniform. But, he doesn’t have time to wonder about his profession. He’s here to look for Penelope.

As soon as Nicholas saw him, he finished the mass and walked towards them, but a group of teenagers approached the priest as if he’s a celebrity. Justin’s brow furrowed. He didn’t expect that a priest could be this popular with women.

“Penelope is not here,” Nicholas told him immediately. “She went here a while ago, but she left after we talked—”

“What did she tell you?” Justin asked. “Where is she—” 

“Justin? Justin Rosburn?” A woman approached her. Her eyes were wide in surprise. “Is that you?”

“She’s not here, Justin,” Nicholas said. “You must go now before the crowd recognized you.”

Murmurs from the people started to grow louder as they surround them. “She went here earlier? What did she tell you? Is it about Vince?”

“Vince? Is it the name of your child—”

Justin’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out quickly, hoping that it was Penelope calling him. But the name flashing on the screen was Sister Coleen’s.

“Justin, I have good news for you,” Sister Coleen told him from the other line. “Vince’s biological mother is here, and she wanted to talk to you…”

***