Chapter 36 Better a Lie Than Losing You
Pierce closed Elena's apartment door behind him and stood in the hallway, fist pressed against the wood, Jaw tightened so hard it ached.
He'd seen the hurt in her eyes when he'd left, seen the frustration and confusion. It felt like the beginning of something worse.
She was slipping away from him and he was the one pushing her away.
Pierce pulled out his phone and texted Derek. Where's Xander now?
The response came immediately. He's at the South side having a meeting with someone at the docks.
Stay on him, I'm coming. Pierce typed back.
Pierce took the stairs two at a time, his mind already calculating, planning. Xander had shown up at Elena's apartment unannounced with intel that felt too convenient, too perfect.
Either he was genuine and Pierce was losing his mind. Or he was the leak and getting bolder.
Pierce needed to know which.
The south docks were industrial, ugly, the kind of place deals happened in shadows. Pierce parked three blocks away and moved on foot, keeping to the edges, staying invisible.
Derek was waiting near a rusted container, binoculars in hand.
"He's been in that warehouse for twenty minutes," Derek said quietly, handing over the binoculars. "Two other guys went in after him. Didn't recognize either."
Pierce looked through the lenses. The warehouse was dark, one light visible through a grimy window on the second floor.
"Any sign of Rodrigo's people?"
"Can't tell from here."
Pierce lowered the binoculars, weighing options. He could go in, confront whatever was happening. Or he could wait, watch, gather evidence.
His phone buzzed, it was marcus.
"Yeah?"
"Checked Xander's financials like you asked. Nothing suspicious. No large deposits, no unexplained transactions. If he's getting paid to betray you, he's hiding it well."
Pierce's jaw tightened. "What about communications?"
"It's clean." He said immediately. "At least on the surface. Want me to dig deeper?"
"Yes, do it."
He hung up and stared at the warehouse. There was no evidence. Nothing concrete. Just instinct and paranoia eating him alive.
"Boss?" Derek's voice pulled him back. "What do you want to do?"
"We wait." Pierce said sharply. "See who comes out."
They waited for forty minutes. When Xander finally came out, he was alone, moving with his usual confidence toward his car.
Pierce watched him drive away, feeling no closer to answers than before.
Back at his own place, a penthouse across town that felt empty and cold, Pierce pulled up everything he had on the night of May 14th.
He didn't know why he did this to himself. Why he kept going back to it like pressing on a bruise.
But he couldn't stop.
There were police reports, news article, witness statements. The same set of information he'd read a hundred times, looking for something he'd missed, some way to make it not true.
He found an article, one he'd read over and over again. Gang violence erupts in downtown Chicago. Multiple casualties including prominent business man Edward Davis and his wife Katherine as well as alleged crime boss Antonio Diego and his wife...
Pierce closed his eyes, the words burned into his memory.
His parents and her parents, all gone the same night, at the same shootout.
His father and Rodrigo's father-in-law had been at war for months. Tensions escalating, violence getting worse. His parents had been leaving an anniversary dinner when the shooting started.
Elena's parents had been there celebrating her graduation.
They'd both been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Caught in a crossfire that had nothing to do with them.
Except it had everything to do with Pierce.
His family, his world, his blood.
He'd known the truth since the moment Elena told him about that night. Had put the pieces together instantly, the date, the location, the way she described it.
And he'd said nothing.
Had tied her to her radiator, slept in her apartment, fallen for her, made love to her, all while carrying the knowledge that would destroy them both.
Pierce's hands curled into fists.
She would hate him when she found out. Would look at him and see the people who'd killed her parents. Would realize that being with him meant being connected to the violence she'd spent three years running from.
He should tell her. He should have told her weeks ago.
But every time he tried, he saw the way she'd looked at him that first morning after they slept together, so soft and trusting and his.
He couldn't lose that. Couldn't lose her.
Even if keeping the secret meant losing her anyway.
Pierce's phone rang. It was marcus again.
"Found something. Xander's been using a burner phone. Tracked it to several locations that match up with Rodrigo's known spots."
Pierce's blood went cold. "You're sure?"
"As sure as I can be without hard proof. But boss? It's looking more and more like..."
"I know what it's looking like." Pierce's voice was cold. "Keep digging. I need something concrete before I move."
"And if we don't find it?"
"Then I make him think I trust him. Get him to slip up."
"That's dangerous boss."
"Everything's dangerous right now."
Pierce hung up and poured himself a drink he didn't want, staring out at the city lights.
Xander. His right hand for three years. The man who'd stood beside him through every fight, every decision, every loss.
If Xander was the traitor, if he'd been feeding Rodrigo information all this time...
Pierce's grip tightened on the glass until his knuckles went white.
He'd kill him. Slowly and painfully. Make him regret every breath he'd taken since the day he decided to betray....
His phone buzzed with a text from Elena.
Are you okay?
Three simple words that cut through everything else.
Pierce stared at the message, thumb hovering over the keyboard.
He should go back. Should hold her, tell her he was sorry for leaving, for being distant, for all of it.
Should tell her the truth about May 14th before it destroyed them from the inside out.
But he couldn't. Because telling her meant losing her.
And losing her meant losing the only good thing he'd had in three years of blood and violence and endless war.
Pierce set down his phone without responding.
He stood at the window, drink in hand, watching the city that had taken everything from both of them.
He was pushing her away and he knew it with every fiber of his being. Could see the hurt in her eyes every time he shut her out, every time he left without explanation.
He was becoming exactly what he feared, the reason she'd leave.
But he didn't know how to stop.
Didn't know how to tell her the truth without watching her realize that his family had killed hers.
That the man she'd let into her bed, into her life, into her heart, was connected to the worst night of her life.
Pierce finished his drink and poured another.
The weight of it, the investigation, the betrayal, the secret, the guilt, pressed down on him until he could barely breathe.
He should tell her. He needed to tell her. But if he did, she'd hate him.
And he'd rather lose her slowly, piece by piece, watching her slip away while he kept his secrets...
Than lose her all at once to the truth.
Even if it made him a coward. Even if it destroyed them both.
Pierce looked at his phone, at Elena's unanswered text, and did nothing.
Because doing nothing was easier than facing what would happen when she finally knew the truth.
And Pierce Diego had never been good at easy things.
But apparently, he was excellent at breaking the one person he'd ever loved.